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Why cant i be accepted?

by detpiston7788, Nov 02, 2009 11:28PM
Im so depressed all the time because i just don't feel attractive. Im on zoloft (btw, i think the med is a joke) and im in thearapy.... My thearapist says this stuff of confidence, etc... But, i just dont buy what he says.. I have so much trouble meeting women... I tried facebook, messaging girls i used to go to school with, i get ignored there, and on plentyoffish.com, no luck there... I know im not attractive enough for a pretty lady, a pretty lady is too good for me.. But.. people keep asking why i dont date much etc.. and no one understands it.. I had women tell me im not ugly, but i just know its false. I hate this so much... What must i do about this?
Member Comments (5)

by Kumar7, Nov 03, 2009 01:10AM
To: detpiston7788
Ok, I know exactly how you feel, but then in my case I have a best friend who I can rely upon to share my thoughts and feelings.

Right - First; Beauty is not everything, Your real beauty lies within your heart, If a pretty girl doesn't find you attractive its not your fault!

Second - Be patient and try taking small risks - like go on a blind date or something... It may work out. And when you are with a girl don't feel your ugly, she might not think that way.

Third - Even if she thinks, prove her you are more than how you look!

There is someone for you, Who know exactly how to treat you. I bet you'll find her pretty soon!
Now, cheer up!

by Jaquta, Nov 03, 2009 01:37PM
Not feeling attractive is probably due to some comment someone made to you when you were younger.
Maybe if you feel that way about the med you shouldn't be on it.
I think it is about confidence and sense of self.
Not trusting your T can be a sign of the depression.
Maybe you're too aggressive in your approach??  Maybe your expectations are a little too high and they can leave you feeling anxious.  Which in turn can leave women feeling uncomfortable.
I personally wouldn't date a man who was insecure about his looks.  To me it says he lacks confidence, may be a little superficial, etc.  Unless he had reasons to be insecure about his looks (like he had severe burns, etc).

I think, but am not 100 certain on this, that concern about our looks is about some aspect of ourselves that we don't like.  What is it that you don't like about yourself?

Also, you don't need a woman to prove that you are a man.  Woman are not conquests -we have thoughts and feelings too.

Try joining a club or some activity that you have an interest in.  A shared interest or passion could bring like minded individuals together.

If that's you in the photo without having too close a look you look handsome enough.  You just need to work on yourself and address your issues.  I would suggest sorting your own stuff out first before entering into a relationship.

by mammo, Nov 03, 2009 05:06PM
To: detpiston7788
All the above is true.  Have you ever met someone who you felt wasn't particularly attractive, but the more you got to know them, the more attractive they became?  Have you ever noticed that with most couples one is very attractive and the other not so much?  That's because it's all about the person themself, and what's inside.  Women do like a confident man, who is kind and caring, but most of all a gentleman...we eat this up!
You say that women have told you you're not ugly, I hope you don't discuss this with women, because that's a big turn-off.  It makes one think you are digging for compliments and we view this as very unsecure and self-centered.  Never discuss your looks with anyone, just be yourself, and don't put so much emphasis on looks.  Looks will fade, it's what's inside a person that matters, and lasts.

by Jaquta, Nov 03, 2009 06:30PM
I don't think women would mind it too much if it were discussed as a vulnerability, etc (woman like honesty) but it comes across more as a vanity thing (which seems to indicate that you are more concerned about yourself than the company).  Which perhaps isn't your intention.
Just be yourself.  Maybe you are trying too hard to impress.  You have to live with yourself too remember (not just a potential partner/ spouse).
If someone wants you to be someone you're not, stay clear of them, that is not true love.

by Richter_Belmont, Nov 07, 2009 05:55AM
To: detpiston7788
is that your real pic men?. if yes. it is dumb to say your ugly. you look like a celebrity. cool looking.
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