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Avatar universal

Why?

Why do people enjoy life? Why do the majority of people think that life is worth living? After 18 years of hell and it going more downhill than ever, I just don't understand why I should live anymore. Everyone says "it will get better" but they have been telling me that for years. And they say "it may take time," but how long am I supposed to hang on if I'm miserable all the time? What's the point? I am so over life and all of its bull ****. I have been for a really long time. I don't believe in god. Counseling doesn't help. Medication doesn't help. Self medicating only helps for the moment. Inpatient treatment hasn't helped either. I am so tired of being tired. Everything is a workout. Things that everyone else does on a daily basis is a workout for me because I have no motivation to do anything. I just really don't see the point anymore. I thought things would get better soon but obviously not and I'm tired of waiting.
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875426 tn?1325528416
I can't speak for all people, but any enjoyment I get out of life is owing to the grace of God.  

Between personal trials and the way the world is going with all the evil in it, I have to fight for joy and I find that joy in my Saviour.  And my reason for living is Jesus Christ and His having made a way of salvation for me.

Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Just FYI...she's still pregnant, hasn't had her baby yet.  Poor rosie has had a lot to deal with...a mother with a bad meth addiction, and her BF has struggled with a bad addiction problem too.  Both, IMO, have no regard for rosie's safety, or the safety of her baby.  Rosie also has reached out to us for help from time to time for some cutting behavior.

For a young woman, she's so insightful and smart..and she's doing the best she can to try to make changes that would be in her and the babuy's best interest.

Just thought a little insight into her situation would be helpful...her posts reveal a lot of what's been going on, and it breaks my heart.  Rosie...you can turn this around,.  It won't be easy...but you can.  We're all here to support you.

Big hugs!
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Avatar universal
I know what a trial life can be when you are depressed and you may be chemically far more depressed since your baby was born. Is that true?  Have you tried an MAO Inhibitor such as Nardil?   That is a very unusual anti-depressant that is rarely prescribed due to all the foods that you must not eat.  But I never felt so great as when I was on that medication.  The ONLY reason I went off of it was because I develped a very bad side effect after a few years.  But really, you must not make any decisions unless you have tried that medication.  REALLY.  And have you seen a psychaitrist that knows how to give mixtures of medications to help your depression?  If you can finally know the fulfillment that others have, you would be so grateful.  

And from what nursegirl is saying about you having unsupportive people around you, that would be a big factor in your depression which you could change.  Really wishing you a whole new future.  Let me know if you have tried the MAO Inhibitor.
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
Well, I am all for adoption..it's the most amazing and selfless gift a person can make...and with all you have had going on, it certainly would stand to reason that adoption would be just one thing to consider, because the truth of the matter is...life gets MORE stressful with a baby.  As hard as you;ve struggled...you will have to add a baby to the mix.  It's a very reasonable thing to consider...both for you AND for baby...and that's no reflection on you, hon.  It takes a very mature person to even consider that.  I commend you for thinking this through.

I know you're tired of how you're feeling...but giving up simply isn't an option, adoption or not.  YOU have the power to change a lot about your life.  You've allowed people to treat you poorly and take advantage of you for a LONG time.  That's a hard habit to break, but it's possible.  You can turn this around with some help.

Your baby is going to need you to be the best you can be, so please dive into some help and start fighting.  Giving up is easy...fighting is not..but guess which one is rewarding?  Wish you the best...hope you start looking at things a little differently.  Make sure your OB is aware of how you're feeling too.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hi..ye know maybe your baby could have a better life if he/she is adopted..who knows?..that is a decision you will have to make and a decision that you will have to live with also...,are you getting the right help and support right now? i honestly cant say i know how you feel hun,but a huge decision like yours is most definitely one of the hardest decisions a mother has to make..i hope your getting all the help you need..and i wish you all the best with all my heart...xx
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Avatar universal
Maybe my baby can have a better life if he/she is adopted. Then I have no reason to fight and my baby gets a happy home. I am so tired of being depressed all the time..
Helpful - 0
480448 tn?1426948538
The biggest reason to fight is because you're going to be a MOM!  Your baby needs the best YOU he/she can have.

I'll tell you one thing I would recommend to make your life better and more enjoyable hon...is to more carefully choose who you decide you want in your life.  Sadly, many of your loved ones are self destructive, and as a result, they are selfish, and you are left to worry about everything.  You deserve better than that.  Nothing changes if nothing changes.  We have to take control of our life and make it what we want it to be!

Hang in there hon!!  XO
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Avatar universal
Right but that's what I'm saying, I don't get why people keep fighting just to get by every day, there is no guarantee of happiness so what is the point. Even if there was a guarantee, would it really be worth all this pain? Probably not. Not in my opinion anyway.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
ye know what rosey..i hear ye hun..everything you say..i know what you mean..its totally fkn ****...i feel like im banging my head against a brick wall..every day....every single day.....,what do ye do?.....FIGHT..you fight and fight and fight.....that is all you can do..your day will come as long as you bleve and fight....your so not alone..coz im to trying to fight coz i have wanted to give up a gazillion times...but isnt that what life is..to everyone..fightin and surviving...dont give up rosey..im tired of waiting too,...but maybe sometimes good things happen to those who wait.keep strong...
Helpful - 0
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