Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Will I ever be mentally stable?

(I'm Asha and I'm 18yrs old)
First of all I'll start by saying that I'm very big on family. It has always been the center of everything my whole life and that's just how I like it. But when I was about 12, my dad met another woman and left my mother[dad had always been an alcoholic and violent but that was just normal stuff] From that moment, our tight knit family bond was broken. We all split up. Dad went to live with her, me,my brother and sister went to live with our aunt(dad's sister) and my mom stayed in our family house alone.(which was an hour away from our aunts) After some months mom moved out and got a house where me and my siblings lived. And at this time my mom's brother was getting out of prison after 10 years. I had never seen him before because of obvious reasons but i finally got to meet him and i found out that he was a registered sex offender and that was why he'd been locked up. But i didnt care because he seemed to be a normal guy and he was family. He quickly became a close friend with me(youngest), my sister(oldest) and my brother(middle kid). He even moved in at my moms place, which was cool! But mom lost the house and we dispersed again. I ended up with my dad and his new girl this time and I dont remember what happened to my bro and sis. I didnt see them much for a while but my mom was partying it up in Dallas. I couldnt blame her though. Her husband of 18 years left her and her family had been completely taken away. This, I believe, is when i started cutting myself. Nothing mattered then. I was 13, hated my stepmom(still do) and i just couldnt believe what dad had done to us all. But my brother resurfaced and moved in at dads house too and our sister moved in with our grandparents(dad's side). **me, my sister, and our aunt were literally best friends** So needless to say, things were completely upsidedown at this point. Mom found someone else (still with him[i hate him too]) and my uncle(sex offender guy) came to live at my dads house because they had been close friends forever. So every cylinder peg was trying to feel comfortable in our new square holes but no one was the same person anymore. We nevertheless carried on, trying to make things work. But i'm a firm believer that things can always get worse and right around this time, they certainly did. Dad was to be the proud father of a new born baby but he thought he couldnt have kids anymore. So suspision of my uncle getting my stepmom pregnant was the new buzz going around and dad was pissed. She denied it and so did my uncle but still, dad was not happy so he called the cops on my uncle (sex offenders have to register everytime they move houses and he didnt) getting him thrown back in the slammer for two more years. Those two years passed and the whole cheating thing was forgotten. So I was 16 when he finally got back out and he tells us all that he met someone in the halfway house he was in. She is also a sex offender, having raped her 3yr old stepsister!! I wasnt on board with this. It spelled trouble for him and it was obvious. But he stayed with her anyway, they're still together... As you can imagine, its hard for a sex offender to get a job so my uncle had nothing except for the hotel room his dad was so lovingly paying for him until he found work. But he snuck his nasty girlfriend in the room with him and they live there together behind his dads back. (it is illegal for two sex offenders to live together unless related by blood or marriage) This has been the situation up until recently when my uncle decided that he would pimp out his lovely child raping dame making her a prostitute and him a literal pimp... though they charge extra for him to join in. But yeah! That's how he makes money to buy the speed that he so dearly needs. So I lost him shortly after just meeting him which has been a giant blow to my mental state. And also, my aunt (the one that took us in and was there for us when we had nothing) had decided to divorce her second husband who was an ******* and i was glad she did but she informs us that she is in love with a woman and plans to spend the rest of her life with her. Now that may not seem like a big deal to others and i used to not understand why it would upset anyone until my best friend/aunt/sister/mom decided she was someone else, but my aunt has 3 kids of her own that have been through a lot and the oldest is only 10. Her kids are already set to have ****** up ideas of what family is and she's further ruining any chance they had at being normal. She caused another giant split in my family's closeness. Seperating me and my sister and throwing out everyone who doesnt agree with her new weird fantasy and she completely neglects her kids for this woman. If i had any shard of my old self left in me, her latest actions have completely torn that all away. Things just arent good anymore. I dont want this, not at all.. I want happiness but feel i too have no chance at attaining it. Ive been bread for faliure apparently
3 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
I've been trying to pretend it's all fake. Not like I'm running away from my problems or things that may scare me but I'm just trying to act like I live a normal life. I recently decided I'm getting a gym membership though. I'm hoping that'll be a good distraction and possibly cure me of my depression since I also have many medical problems. I'm hoping it'll at least be a step in the right direction! Thank you so much for your concern, it honestly means a lot. I turn to sites like this because 99% of the time, I physically can't talk to anyone about this stuff. It's a lot to try and explain obviously. But I'm keeping my chin up, trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel
Helpful - 0
603015 tn?1329862973
No one should go through what you have been through. As above I agree you need therapy to process what has happened in your life. There is hope and never think there is none, my childhood although not so traumatic as yours was different to say the least but I am married for 21 yrs have 4 children and my experiences have been used to my advantage to be a better role model and parent in my childrens life. There is life after childhood and it doesnt have to be negative. You are old enough to do something about it, try therapy and then you may have the strength to turn this around and break to cycle that has been around you.
Helpful - 0
1390847 tn?1344657468
Thats some really heavy stuff...I wholeheartedly suggest seeing a therapist.  Thats a lot to stuff into 18 years of life...but there definitely is hope.  No one is bred for failure...although I totally understand how you think that because I think that like all the time.  You are such a strong person to be going through that all.  There is hope for you, Your 18 your a legal adult...you can get out of this loop. Find a hobby and a dream and set your mind to it and go for it. I think you need therapy to cope emotionally and to build your confidence.  Posting on this site can really help too, there a lot of people with experience who can really help.  Good luck with everything...and know that there really really is hope!
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Depression Community

Top Mood Disorders Answerers
Avatar universal
Arlington, VA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
15 signs that it’s more than just the blues
Discover the common symptoms of and treatment options for depression.
We've got five strategies to foster happiness in your everyday life.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.