Wish I was born 5 years earlier...

Question

I would like say right now. What you are about witness is probably the most irrational and stupid thing to be depressed about. But like everyone, I can't keep my feelings all bottled up. To start, I'm a 19 year old male living in Scotland, United Kingdom who joined this site recently to help with my feelings. 

 To be truthful, when I was born doesn't go well with how I was born, if you know what I mean. I totally wish I was born just like, 5 years earlier so I can experience more 90s stuff, or better yet, born in the late 70s, so I can experience both the 80s AND the 90s (I was born in 1994 but wished it could've been 1989). Everyday, I feel that I'm look down upon by people older than me as if I'm a "kid" or that I'm another one of those teens who's addicted to technology and stuff. Granted, I can be quite the internet addict, but I do OTHER things as well! I draw, exercise, hang out with a few friends in the town and occasionally go for a drink. But I still can't help but feel inferior to them since they probably grew up with WAY more stuff from the 80s and 90s than I did. Now I DID grow up with many memorable cartoons from those decades, grew up with classic Disney instead of the shite Disney usually does nowadays and I morely remember using VHS tapes than DVDs but still, I wish I could have a connection with the 90s more... 

 Not only that, I wish I could've been a teen throughout the 2000s instead of a hybrid, so I can experience the golden days of YouTube and deviantArt. I did experience it for a while until they got shite too. This is why I'm jealous and envy of my older sister, since she was born 5 years earlier than I was..

nursegirl6572 · Accepted Answer

To be TOTALLY honest with you, it sounds like this is kind of a hang up for you.  It sounds more like a self esteem, self perception issue more than anything.  It's not like you're feeling inferior to someone MY age (41) who truly WAS born in a different generation.  You're basically talking about people almost the same age as you.  I don't consider someone who is 19 to be in a different generation than someone who is 25.  No way.  Even if there is an official "cut off" for generation X versus generation Y, to me, it's still people in the same age group.  Someone born 6 years before you may have been ALIVE during the times you're referring to, but they were babies, so it's not like they had a full experience of those times, you know?  They would have been 5 or 6 when you were born, so it's not like they had a big head start.

And, your example, I think you're reading a lot more into the girl's comment about you being a "pup".  It's not at all surprising that in a social, "pick up" kind of setting, that a girl would make that kind of remark when she meets a guy who is younger than her.  I don't at all see that as her being condescending.  I see it more like a playful tease.

It just sounds like a lot of the way you feel are perceptions you've created for yourself.  I think therapy would help a lot, you need to work on your self esteem and sense of self worth.  

People born in different eras are not "better" or "worse" than someone else, they're just different.  I think YOU are the one who feels that way, and you project those feelings onto others, which makes you feel that people are looking down on you.  No doubt some people DO do that (act superior), but I honestly don't think you'd find too many people who would tell you that they feel superior to someone in a different generation, maybe with the exception of just feeling like they're more mature and more knowledgeable, which of course is normal.  While you're probably a very smart young man, I have quite a few years on you, and have many more life experiences than you.  That doesn't make me BETTER, but rather just older and maybe (maybe, lol) a little bit wiser.

I think you would really benefit from therapy.  Express to your parents how you're feeling, and that you really need this.  You're old enough that you can seek out therapy on your own, you shouldn't need them to do the leg work for you, you know?  Take the initiative and start making some calls.  All you would really need from your parents is their insurance info, as I'm assuming you're still under their coverage?

Let us know how you're doing.  You deserve to feel better about yourself!  Start making some phone calls!  You'll be glad you did!

swttea · Answer

Please don't wish to be born earlier or later.  You are perfect just the way you are.  Actually you are born at the most best time.  80s was ok but who wants to wear tight pants and have twenty pounds of hairspray in their hair or the 90s dressing up like MC hammer.  
Also YouTube wasn't that great when it first began.  Just enjoy your present time here and now.

Much love
Xoxo

alifelessordinary · Answer

I actually feel the same way, but for different reasons. I often feel like things were better - that the fact that we didn't have things so easily at our reach, like music, movies, etc, made it more important when u finally got it. I often miss the way I felt when I had my first encounters with some bands, tv shows, etc, at the time. I dont feel amused like that with anything anymore, and often daydream about what it would be like to live in that time again, but older.
I wonder if I will ever feel new things again.

MarkWilson4455 · Answer

Lol, yeah you figured it out. lol I suppose you're right. Just because someone is 5 or 6 years older than me doesn't mean we're from separate generations. I looked up the whole Generations X,Y and Z and it seems I'm part of Y as well as loads of people born before me. So it's comforting for me to know that. :)

Oh, I never thought of it like that. haha Yeah, all the people I know who are older and said that were girls so I guess that's why. lol

To be honest, that's why I sometimes envy older people. Because of their wisdom and experience. I know I'll be old someday but I can't help but envy what older people have. But hey, I guess that's just all in my head. lol

You're right. I'll start to find some therapy I can arrange and hopes I can battle my inner demons on this issue. I like to thank you so much for giving me comforting replies! And yes, I'm still under my parents' coverage so I'll tell them about it. Once again, thank you so much! :)

MarkWilson4455 · Answer

Hi nursegirl6572

Thank you so much for replying. I'm glad you understand how I feel. 

The thing is, I just feel inferior to those who grew up in those decades to the point where it's causing my depression. I always say to myself that I feel trapped in the way I was born. I also have this feeling that the people from that generation look down upon me and think I'm just a unsociable person who depends on technology too much because I didn't grow the way they did. One time I was in a bar and I started talking to a person who was 25 years old and when I told her I was 19, she called me "a pup". I know she didn't mean any harm but it still got me.

Whenever I see people who are young adults but older than me hanging out together, it makes me feel sick and depressed. I just wish I was their age and joining them but I'm not. I know I should be grateful for what I have and I am, but I just can't help it.

I'll try to find some therapy but it's difficult cause my parents are usually too busy to do it. But I will consider doing it.

But thank you for helping!

nursegirl6572 · Answer

Hello and welcome!

First, there is never a dumb or silly reason to feel the way you do.  It's YOUR feelings and YOUR life, and your struggles are no less relevant than anyone else's.

I was a child of the 80's and 90's, and it WAS a neat time to grow up.  There was also a lot about it that wasn't so neat, lol.  I think everyone from different generations could say the same.  

Just because you weren't BORN in that era and you didn't experience it firsthand doesn't mean you can't still enjoy the things from that time, like music, movies, TV, etc.  A lot of people still enjoy those things, and it's actually quite popular to be "into" the 80's and 90's (80's probably more so).

While I'm in no way dismissing the way you feel, this is definitely something that you need to work on NOT letting it consume you do much, for the simple fact that there's nothing you can do to change it.  

There are enough things in the world for us to be genuinely anxious and depressed about, plenty of stressors in our daily lives, without adding something totally out of our control.  Try to turn it around, and be thankful for the things YOU had in your era growing up that children of the future won't have.

Have you ever sought any kind of professional help, in the form of therapy?  I would recommend it, as it can be so very helpful.  It's tough when we start ruminating about something, so I feel for you in that regard, the good news is, you can turn this around.  

Best to you, keep us posted okay?

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