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Without hope
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Without hope

Hello everyone. I'm 27 years old, mother of a wonderful 2 year-old boy, and with another boy on the way. My entire life I saw my mother cry, day after day. I recall how she would just lock herself in the bedroom and cry for hours. It all started as post-partum depression, after having my brother who is now 34. She has been to soooo many doctors, has taken all different kinds of medications and dosages, and even sedatives along with the anti-depressives to try to feel better. Just recently she has gotten the be the worst I've ever seen. I can only recall 1 time in my life time when she had lost the will to live. I was about 5 years old. Now, being older, I am sooo scared of what might happen. She said she is tired to feel this way, she doesn't want to live unhappy like this anymore. And I do know she is at her limit. She doesn't live close to me, but we are very close. I just bought her a plane ticket and got her here with me, just to try anything I can possibly do...but even my son's beautiful smile, happiness, life full of joy has been helping her. I do feel that if I don't do something, I might lose her, I might lose this battle against depression, the one she's been fighting for a very long time. PLEASE, if anyone out there has any suggestion, let me know, help me, PLEASE. I want to help her however I can. PLEASE, help me help her. She is the most amazing, giving, loving person I know, and I don't want to lose her. She is my inspiration, and I would like for her to see her grandkids grow and become their inspiration too.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi Mom,

First thing I must say to you is this is NOT your battle against depression. YOU cannot win or lose it. Do not blame yourself for whatever happens, you cannot change it yourself. You can try and help and getting her to come to you is by far the best thing you can do. So she has someone who loves her around.

But it is never YOUR battle. Never.

For her to feel good or better or at least settled she needs treatment and she needs to do what the doctor says and take the treatment advised. If it's meds then so be it but talk therapy is needed too I would suggest.

From the depths you describe though I'd think she needs meds first to raise her mood to a level where talk therapy actually has a chance of working.

It is wonderful that you care so much for her but please do not let her illness take over the lives of your and yours. You can only offer so much and it is up to your mother to actually do the hard work by following the treatment prescribed. If she doesn't do that she will not improve. And it must be long term and consistent, not just a week here and there. That's a waste of time and resources.

Good luck.
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Avatar_f_tn
I totally agree!  You've done all you can.  Don't allow her depression to take over your life and happiness too!  I know it's difficult with it being your mom, but you can only do so much.  Maybe she needs to be hospitalized so that they can give her therapy and medication, and get her better before releasing her.  This is your only hope for her.  This isn't your battle.  I don't know the laws when it comes to this, but maybe if you can convince her doctor that she may try and do something, you can get her hospitalized and get her help.  Regardless, never feel you failed your mother, you haven't and can't.  You've shown her great love and support while caring for your own family, and this is all you can do.  Sometimes you just can't save someone from themselves, so please don't put this enormous pressure on yourself.  Some things are bigger than all of us. I was where your mother is for a long time, but thankfully I recovered.  You do get tired of being sad all the time, but you also have to realize that only you can change your life, and need to take the necessary steps to do so.  I wish your mom saw this, but you can't make her see it.  She needs to look at everyone who loves her and think of what it would do to them if something happened to her.  This is what I did.  I felt my family had endured enough losses and could not put them through another.  I wish you luck, you're an amazing daughter.
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Avatar_f_tn
Well I dont agree with the above entirely, your story  touched me very closely.  My Dad has schizophrenia.
She is your mother and you have obviously inherited her kindness and sensitivity.
Obviously you want to help her in any way you can and be there for her.

I hope that she can find a way to recover, has she tried combining anti psychotic with anto depressant? It works for many
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