Zoloft is making me doubt myself...

[necromanticize]

I'm 21 years old and was diagnosed with depression when I was 17. I went on Celexa right away but it wasn't quite enough to get rid of my bad feelings. I got onto sertraline (Zoloft) and have been on that for about 2-3 years now. Recently, by which I mean last summer, I started to notice just how apathetic Zoloft made me feel. I started to date a guy who I am currently dating, but wasn't sure how I felt about him. We broke up after about a month. When the school year for me started back up in the fall, I stopped taking the medication due mostly to carelessness. I started to realize that I actually felt fine without the meds, and I got stronger feelings for my boyfriend. We got back together, but when my anxiety and depression started to creep up again, I had to start taking the Zoloft again. Soon enough I didn't want to be around my boyfriend as much anym ore.

These days I have mostly been off the meds because I hate the way they make me feel. They make me tense, apathetic, and I hate being touched. Worst of all, I don't really feel the same about my boyfriend. That makes me feel absolutely awful. I know that the feelings that I have for him off the medication are so right, they make me feel wonderful. I can feel a large range of emotions and even though that means sometimes dealing with being triggered into daily depressive episodes, I'm willing to deal with it for how it makes me feel about him.

I was going through many of these episodes recently and decided that I should try taking my meds for a little while, at least until I can see a doctor so things don't get too out of hand. I have been awake for about an hour now, can't sleep because I've been crying and upset about not feeling the same way I did about my boyfriend.

I don't know what to do about this. I don't know if I was misdiagnosed as a teen, if I should try to seek therapy and work on my anxiety and depression trigger problems, or try something else. Please help...I feel so terrible.

[skye40]

Simple.  Cut the does in half..and see how that goes.  For me..there are no with drawl effects.

[necromanticize]

I am planning on seeing my doctor as soon as I can...but being in school makes things difficult. And while I know that only my doctor will know what is best, I often try to take things into my own hands and find out what works best, especially since I don't want to be on meds forever. I know this is dangerous...but sometimes I just can't stand the way I feel one way or another and I can't see a doctor right away. I'm going to try some natural herbal supplements to see if my mood improves without the apathy and bad side effects.

[wellb]

Hello,
I was on Zoloft for a long time and  it actually saved my life (this was many years ago) so it must have helped me along the way,--- and it probably did help you also, without you even knowing it fully.

Sometimes when a person is placed on an SSRI, that person is just too close to the problem to know if it's working or not. Sometimes it's hard to look outside ourselves. So,that's why a Doc can help to gauge the situation better, since he/she has all available knowledge of various medications at his/her fingertips.

Example, for you,  maybe now your Zoloft may either need a re-adjustment in dosage (by your psychiatrist) or maybe you just need another SSRI.

But,once again, your psychiatrist is really the only person that can make any adjustments to your Meds.

As MAMMO said, going off and on these SSRIs yourself, without your Docs knowing, can be dangerous . So my advice to you is to contact your Doc again (hopefully today) and go over all these symptoms you told us, with him/her.

By the way, in my case, after a few years, Zoloft began not to work as efficiently as before, so my psychiatrist placed me a on another SSRI that worked much better for me.  
Sometimes a switch to another SSRI is just what your body needs.
Plz call you Doc ASAP.
Take care.

[mammo]

You need to see a psychiatrist to get diagnosed and into therapy and/or medication.  Playing around with your medication is not a good idea.  Some antidepressants cause a feeling of numbness, but not all.  I think it would be a good idea to do this and get to the bottom of it all.  It may just be that the Zoloft is not the right medication for you.
Take care...