angry and hurt!

[skram]

this isn't really a question, just a rant!!!! after some nagging off a very good, kind friend, i finally called my local crisis team and told them that i have been s/h again, they told me i needed to call my husband and arrange for a good time to come in for an appointment (he needs to look after ou 3 children) and all he said is "oh is that happening again" in a really accusatory tone!! i really need support right now, i am sitting typing this in tears and turmoil!!!!
i understand that it's really hard for him to deal with this, but everytime i try to talk to him about how i'm feeling, he turns it around and makes out that it must be all his fault, which then makes me feel even more guilty about how i feel and so i no longer tell him everything!!! i don't know where to turn anymore

[therese83]

That is OK, no problem.  Have a good day

[lonewolf07]

If the President of the United States can contradict himself and make mistakes, I would hope we "common folk" could do the same.  Depression and anxiety cause contradictions, judgements and other numerous "issues".  At least there was an apology  = )

[totallywild]

I apologise for my last post, I reacted before i took time to think.

You have a right to your opinion as much as I do.

[totallywild]

To: Therese83

Who is judging who????  I was not passing judgement merely stating my interpretation of what I had read.  Yet you think it is ok to judge me!!!  Hypocrisy - you and skram have  something in common then.

Oh by the way - that is an opinion not a judgement!

[therese83]

I dont know where totallywild is coming from?  I never saw a post like hers before.  She has no right to judge skram so harshly.  

To skram, you are doing your best, I hope that the meds help you and you seem like a  nice person, take it easy.  It gets better, it takes time but I am sure you will get back on your feet again.  Dont be so hard on yourself

[skram]

yes maybe i am confused, but am not aiming to seek attention, i am extremely messed up at the moment and i really needed help yesterday before i did myself any more harm, i was home alone with a new baby and was worried about what might happen, as for my supportive husband, he was not able to be supportive when i needed him most and i was annoyed, i typed on here for support when i needed it
i am on my meds and i contacted the crisis team and have made an appoinment
i am struggling to deal with this illness
but thank you for your comment

[totallywild]

I am confused!  I think you are also confused - I am not suggesting that you are not suffering from some form of mental illness.

What worries me is I wonder if you are genuine.  You seem to be contradicting yourself throughout your posts and journal.  You say you think you have bipolar and the doctor doesn't, then you say the doctor does think you have it but you don't think you have it.  You then agree when someone suggests you do have it???????

You say your husband and friends are supportive then you say that they aren't.

I can't help but be reminded of a small child stamping their feet because they are not getting enough attention.

The doctor advised you to stay on medication and contact the crisis team - what more were you expecting from her?  You seem cross that the crisis team and your husband aren't rushing to your side immediately, yet why should they.  If they are arranging an appointment there is not much more they can do.

I cannot really see what more you can expect.  You need to take a close look at why you are demanding so much attention for something that a great many people suffer from.  

[lonewolf07]

If we weren't sensitive we probably wouldn't be depressed and anxious.  Personally, I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced depression, anxiety and feeling/acting suicidal can completely understand it.  I've had those feelings since I was a child and now my younger daughter is estranged from me because of it.

Hugs .... if you want them

wolf

[centrals_28]

Sorry to hear that you are going through this. I can sympathise with you 100%. My husband told me to go stand in front of a train last month. That night it was the last straw and I tried to kill myself.  He didnt realise I was even gone for hours, by which time I was already in hospital. Now the only way he talks about it is to poke fun at me if Im having a bad day. He has no idea of anything Im going through. My best friend does and supports me  in every way my husband doesnt. But then I get the jealous rants from him when I talk to my friend or go to see her. I go there because I feel safe there. I dont feel safe at home.
I guess the only thing I could suggest to you is to talk to someone else. Possibly ask your husband to go to counselling with you  or you together? I have no idea what sort of relationship you have. I know I am not even going to bother with relationship counselling for us. Im mentally trying to prepare to show mine the door in a hurry.
I think we need to do whatever we have to for our own survival.
It ***** when the mental illness stigma is carried on by the people we trusted to support us most.

[remar]

hi , we have'nt talked before but i'm sorry to hear your going through this. we that have depression and anxiety tend to be very sensitive. your husband probably wishes he could take your pain away and is at a loss, that's why he's thinking it's his fault. this is just my opinion. i hope you feel better and i'm here if you want to talk. take care. remar