calm sadness

I have suffered with depression since a surgery left me with chronic pain 5 years ago..I just got out of the hospital for rapid detox of the pain med.'s, anti-anxiety,etc.  The theory from several Dr.'s was that the pain meds were making my pain worse. I am 16 days without and my pain levels are off the chart.  I have had this creepy calm, but very sad, feeling come over me the past few days and I just stare and feel very disconnected.  I told my Dr. I had been having suicidal thoughts. I told him I would call for help if it got worse. But now that I have this settled feeling I'm not so sure. I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me, especially without the medications. Should I be worried about this new "calm"feeling?

[Venora Moonwind]

No hom The calm feeling probably feels weird because you arent used to it. when my meds kicked in I felt so strange. I talked to my therapist about and she said it was probably the first time in my bi polar life that I felt normal. take it one day at time and go with it.I know its scary but you can do it. we will help you here.You are in my prayers.
Love Venora

[Jade59]

Please try to give your body time to adjust without the painmeds.  16 days is not a long time and your doctor is right, all those pain meds do make the pain worse.  3yrs ago I was on 10-12 vicoden, soma and tramadol along with lots of advil and asperin.  I have degenerative disc disease along with herniated cervical discs and a few herniated thoracic discs, but the cessation of so many pain meds made an AMAZING difference in my pain levels.  Also, walking every night has made a significant difference, but I have to say,. the huge amount of pain meds on a daily basis made the pain about ten times worse.  You do sound very depressed.  I have had that "calm" feeling before, like you're in shock and just don't want to think.   You just got out of the hospital so please give yourself some time to adjust.  Have you tried some advil?  800mgs takes more than the edge off for me.  Also, Bufferin has always worked like magic for me on leg aches.  

Try the addiction forum.  Everyone there is very kind and supportive and you could read some posts and see that what your going through is normal and the depression DOES get better as the days go by.  

And btw, I have been in chronic pain for almost 20yrs and do you know when the depression finally got better?  It's when I realized that the pain was NEVER going away completely and acceptance was the only way to move forward, otherwise, you just sit and think "how am I going to live this way for the rest of my life and you feel paralized with fear.  

[mandyjane46]

My heart goes out to you hon. First of all well done for coming off all those pain meds. Have you said that to you yet? That was one hell o a big brave step and well done you. I was on a zillion of them last year and decided to go cold turkey cos I felt so detached and as a single mom it was making it hard to care for my kid.I cant tell you its easy .Chronic pain is a challenging thing and it takes a strong person to deal with it and You are dealing with it today  so well done.The way I cope is to take each day at a time.Plan for the next hour when things get though and remind myself that Im doing ok. Sure there are days when I slip and wonder at life but then I try to distrct myself, treat myself (from a herbal bath to a bar of choacolate) and rest. Over sleep aint good but rests are. be strong, believe in you and know that that you are not alone.we have pets at home (birds and cats ..I have a kid who loves animals) and i tell you when the cats purr and the birds land on my head it helps me to feel loved and needed...even with the **** I have to clean up.....)
take care hon
MJ