chronic depression

[shasha18]

hi, i have been on depression for past few months now. I am a self harmer and i overdose lots of times. i even did more than one suicide attempts. I have gone through many sessions with my counselor but i feel that nothing really helps me. Nowadays i cut and make suicide attempts more frequently and i feel that i need to get external help.What kind of external help should i refer to and in what way will it help me?

[sassygirl8]

Im going to send you the same thing I sent to another member.  I think it may help:

Im not a medical expert of any kind, so keeping that in mind I will tell you my experience.  I have been on anti-depressants for 14 years.  I remember when I first went on them, it was during  post-partum depression and I thought it would just be for a while.  After about 2-3 weeks, I told my mother, I thought that maybe I should have been on this medication my whole life.  I think I had been depressed my whole life, but never having "not been depressed", I didnt know the difference.  Now I definitely know the difference.  
About 4-5 years ago, I went thru what I guess you could consider a break-down.  I went thru a divorce, had a series of health issues and lost my best friend. At my wits end, I decided to see a psychiatrist.  He raised my dosage and added an anti-anxiety drug as well.  As for the physical symptoms of depression I was having, it helped tremendously.  However, I believe inside every depressed, or anxiety-ridden person out there, lies a root cause to their mental state.  Until that root cause is not only discovered, but dealt with,  the medicine will just help get thru each day.  
Dealing with the cause is another story.  Its only been recently that I have realized that as long as nothing comes up to refresh the memories of the "root cause", and I take my medicine, which I am now physically in need of to get thru each day, all is well.  But when a situation or occurence takes place that triggers that traumatic experience ("root-cause"), Im back down to the terrified little girl I was when the very cause of my psychosis occured.  
I am now in the process of finding a counselor that deals with Cognitive Behavior Therapy.  This is a therapy in which you learn to take the negative responses to the stimulus that causes your reaction and teaches you to re-train the voices in your head (so-to-speak) into positive responses.  I truly believe that this is the only real cure to my issues.  
I say all of this, only after many life experiences and a recent situation, in which I realized that my belief system was based onthe really bad experience and was to blame for my reactions to things.  I hope this is the answer and I know it will be a lengthy process to go thru, but I am hopeful that this will help me to be able to gradually ween off of the meds and become a healthier person.
I hope this helps.  

[Kova]

wow, good post, hensley.  couldn't have said it better myself.  Sasha, you NEED to be in a hospital.  why didn't your counselor urge you to go?  anyone who is suicidal needs to be monitored carefully 24/7.

i wish you all the best.  hang in there.  there is hope.

Kova

[Hensley258]

If it's gotten to the point where you are now activly suicidal then you really need to check yourself into the hospital.

Treating someone that is severly depressed and suicidal on an outpatient basis with simple counsoling and talk therapy is like trying to pit out a flaming inferno with a squirt bottle.