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343006 tn?1314446471

dementia anyone know ?

I have a question please: My mother is near 80yrs old, shes in good health -gets around well. however  she had a stroke about 6 years ago, and also had a operation on artires in the neck ,cleaned out and were not if they put a stent in or not ? az heart inst.  shes been ok for the past
4 years , however this last year, shes been depressed and her memory has failed her -short term so far ! she repeats old storys and memorys of past. and also reads outloud to no one ? then writes what she reads down?? her hearing is failing her and as well she cant see good anymore !  now for the kicker !  she over the past 6months has turned on everyone ! and picks fights ,shes nasty and mean all the time !  and wont take her medications for b.p ,she gets worked up and flys off the handle
at anyone ! for no real reason at all.  including me , who helps her daily and has for 5years now.. I myself cant take the abuse ! or putting up with her mean ways.  who needs it !  I dont !!
well anyways, does anyone know, about dementia and its stages , I think shes got it  due from the
stroke and old age creeping on her.    I feel lost , as she was a good mother and never nasty or mean
before.   shes totaly changed !   the hate is big !! with her and she acts like the whole world is aginst
her..  when it isnt at all.

also does anyone know how to take her car keys and licence from her..  she drives like a old toad
and is unsafe and cant see well..  

7 Responses
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371848 tn?1206207834
also, before you leave her alone, look at nursing homes. someone with dementia should NOT be alone, as they are a huge risk to themselves.. she could kill herself. She needs to be somewhere where people are experienced with dealing with people with dementia, and she can be supervised 24/7. that way you wont have to fight with her, and she will be taken care of. If you were here in VA I could suggest a place to take her, but just find a nursing home that specializes in Dementia/Alzheimers care. You will feel better and less stressed because someone experienced will be able to care for her, and you wont have to put your family through her outbursts.. but please dont leave her alone.. thats the worst thing you could do.. find her some help.. you can get power of attorney if you can prove she's a hazard to herself, and put her in a nursing home and take away her licsence and keys.. if you can prove her incapable to care for herself.. you dont have to have her permission, the courts will grant it to you for her safety.
Helpful - 0
371848 tn?1206207834
also, before you leave her alone, look at nursing homes. someone with dementia should NOT be alone, as they are a huge risk to themselves.. she could kill herself. She needs to be somewhere where people are experienced with dealing with people with dementia, and she can be supervised 24/7. that way you wont have to fight with her, and she will be taken care of. If you were here in VA I could suggest a place to take her, but just find a nursing home that specializes in Dementia/Alzheimers care. You will feel better and less stressed because someone experienced will be able to care for her, and you wont have to put your family through her outbursts.. but please dont leave her alone.. thats the worst thing you could do.. find her some help.. you can get power of attorney if you can prove she's a hazard to herself, and put her in a nursing home and take away her licsence and keys.. if you can prove her incapable to care for herself.. you dont have to have her permission, the courts will grant it to you for her safety.
Helpful - 0
371848 tn?1206207834
That reminds me of some of the patients I used to care for. I used to work in a nursing home that caters to elderly with dementia and alzheimers. Most of my patients that had dementia acted the way you described your mothers actions. Dementia affects everyone differently, making them highly irritable and hard to deal with, refusing to take their med's and just being outright mean, when they are usually nice and sweet as can be, and then it could make that person become very quiet, where they dont talk anymore, and just wonder around. It is so sad to see people go through this, one minute they are happy and easy to get along with, and then the next minute, just the smallest thing can set them off, and they are very mean and hard to deal with. Take your mom to the doctor and have them run a test. it could be dementia, or she could just be going through a rough change right now. but strokes could aslo trigger these actions, depending on what area of the brain was affected by the stroke. Only a doctor can truely tell you what is going on with your mother. I hope only the best for you, and hopefully you can get to the bottom of this and get your mother the help she needs.
Helpful - 0
343006 tn?1314446471
I agree with you on a few points , and understand what your telling me.. as im over 50yrs
old myself.  You see I did this of out kindness and for my fathers last wishes before he passed away.  to take care of your mother.  its been 5years now since his death.
my mother has gotten worse as the years went.  over the past 6 to 7months she has become a diffrent person, very depressed at times! and Nasty and mean to everyone she sees ! I have tryed everything to calm her down and get her to go to a Doctor , but she thinks im taking her to Mental Doctor !  and always gets Nasty and fights with me.. I end up walking away and telling her forget it then !   then shes alright within 30mins later.

however things have gotten worse ! and she has gotten into a few fights with family members and even her grandchildren !   and now shes totaly turned on me !
one that helps her !!  

well I can no longer put up with her b/s  and I feel its time for me to leave her alone
and go my way.   I want nothing to do with her.. as really I dont need this b/s
and iv helped long enough !      

but thank you for your time and posting on this.
Helpful - 0
343006 tn?1314446471
Thank you for the reply back
You hit the nail on the head - my Mother is just like that . shes changed to what was a nice old woman kind and even tempered , to mean old sea hagg !  no joke about that !
the worst part is she lies and makes up storys , always to make her look better.. shes like a child /  at the doctors office (If you can get her there) shes calm and acts like sweet little old lady. but tells these made up storys what someone did to her and how she was treated bad.  when no one did a thing or treated her bad at all.  What can you do??  im at a loss for words..  I guess im more hurt than she is .. due to how she turned
on me , her son , who waited on her daily and helped her .  shes not the same mother I knew before.  no way around it !  
but thank you for the reply it helps..  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My mom is going through the same thing.  She used to be such a sweet lady and now she has turned into someone I dont know anymore. She creates things in her own mind and tell people things that are horrid. She's 74 and has been through alot (health wise) but the dementia has been hard on the family to handle. The dr. suggested that we correct her anytime she is out of order. That we stay firm with her when she flys off the handle so to speek.  She is on medication to help her think a little clearer and a mild antidepressent. It does help some. It's hard because you miss your mom.

As far as taking the car keys, good luck.  I had a townsperson who knows my mom well, tell me that she ran a red light in town and just about got killed and just preceded on down the road with out a care in the world.  I talked to her about it and she said it never happened.  I know the day is going to come soon when its going to have to happen.

I sure feel for you.  Good Luck
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
there is a simple test the dr can do to see if this is demtia or not,some people do get depressed looks like more younger ones nowdays than older. does she hvae a med for this also maybe there is a reason she is depressedmaybe she senses you are getting lets say a little tired of her so to speak,, and is acting out to protect herslf from hurt some people take anger out on others when they feel inadequate this is just a guess i have found it to be so ,also she repeats old stories that is nothing new they get a lot of enjoymenr in thinking of the past is that really hurting anyone she does need her B/P.med maybe the dr could have a nice chat with her about that, please remember there is a reason she is being nasty and mean and again she should see a dr by the way how old are you? a lot of young people are hard of hearing no big deal. i feel for your mother as i am really fond of older people i do want you to remember one thing this is your mother she took care of your aches and pains all of that when you were you were small to a grown up she is you mother the only one you will ever had and will have and when she is gone she is gone forever. it may be hard on you but have you thought it might be worth it     all of the luck in the world    jo
Helpful - 0
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