I have been suffering from depression since I was about 12. I am now 23 and over the years it
Has gotten worse. It started out with the thought of just running away to ease whatever i was feeling. I realized that didn't work so I would just isolate myself from everyone but then I would get so lonely. I would have mental and emotional break downs. Now for the past three years it's gotten so bad that I really need help. I am about to have a baby and I don't want to be this way as a mother. Before I got pregnant I used to cut myself since I found out I have stopped. I honestly feel like I only live for my boyfriend and my baby. I honestly have said to myself without them I don't care if I die. I hate myself. I hate looking into the mirror and if I do I never look myself in the eye. I wish I could get help
Depression never gets better as time passes without getting some help. As you yourself can attest to, in nearly 12 years the depression has continued and possibly gotten worse.
As you are pregnant, you can ask your doctor for some advice and maybe a referral to a therapist or therapy group to start your recovery as soon as possible.
Once your baby is born you will be very busy with baby care and you may even find some lifting of the depression for a short time, but without any support system or recovery system most likely the depression will again rise and take center stage in your life.
I do hope you can hook up with someone who can point you to a healthier direction for yourself and your babies life.
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