do you think im depressed and what can i do??

[fatty00]

im 16 (female)
and last year my great nanna started deteriorating and she was hospitalised for a week (i went to see her nearly everyday in the hospital), then when she could go back home she got really bad and had to go in a residential home
she was in the residential home for about three months and i went to see her nearly everyday
she died in November and i was also there when she died aswell

shes not the only persdon whos died in the past year, my neighbour died about 3 weeks ago (ive known him all my life)
then there was my great grandad who died over a year ago then other family members
all together theres been 7 people whos died in the past year and half (i only went to two of the funerals)


and now i just feel like giving up, i cant even remember the last timne something good happened in my life
i just feel worthl;ess and that if i wasnt here everything would be better coz i just make everyones life worse
sometimes i just wake up in the morning and i just cant even seem to get out of bed i just lay there for another couple of hours because i just think that there isnt any point in me getting out of bed

i cry atleast twice a week (sometimes everyday if lifes just getting worse)
i tryed to OD last week

i just feel like giving up completely ..... my family just thinks im ok and ive got over everyone who has died because i just fake a smile when im with them
i really just dont no what to do anymore

i havcnt been eating properly for about 4 years now .... my lowest weight has been about 6st and im 5ft 5
so im kinda trying to eat normally again which has been ok for a while but now i just feel like giving up


why cant life just give me a break for once

[fatty00]

i tryed to speak to my best friend about it
but she went in a stress with me coz i said that i tryed to OD
she said that if i dont sort my life out she's not gonna b mates wiv me anymore coz she cba with all the ****

[Nat_16]

Since you dont want to talk to your parents is there anyone you can talk to - a trusted family friend, aunt??  Or even better, a doctor???  I think you really need to get some help with this.  
Good luck :)

[fatty00]

my parents dont know how i feel ..... i dont want to tell them because theyl start getting worried about me
and no i havnt been to the doctors about this ...... i havnt been to the doctors for about 5 years!!
and im not at school anymore .... im at college now

[Nat_16]

Im so sorry for all your losses, it must be terribly hard.  I myself have lost 4 people in the past 12 months including 2 grandparents, a great aunt and my best friend.  I agree with the above post on this one, you definately need to talk to a therapist.  Have you spoken to your regular doctor about how you feel?  Can you speak to your parents about it?  Could your school counsellor help arrange something for you?  Keep me informed how you're going.  Take Care...Nat

[heyjude1]

I am so sorry you have had so many losses.  It must be very hard.  Can you get your parents to arrange for you to meet with a therapist that you can discuss with?  If not, can you go to the school counslor or the school nurse and ask if their is a grieving group in your school for kids that have been thru the loss of a loved one?  I think you need someone to talk with about your feelings.