hmm, maybe you should try working with animals ^^
u ve never thought of quitting your job and doing some job u like?
by the way, I need to lose 20 pounds....how do you do it?
Very sorry to hear about your emotional pain. Sounds like PTSD. I was in a crisis respite facility with two soldiers who were pretty stressed out. Doctors will likely try something like Effexor which can help with anxiety and depression. PTSD and depression can be treated. As a soldier, you are trained for battle. This is just another battle. You are lucky to have a cat. Where I am, I can watch the rabbits in the courtyard at night and it's good therapy. They've learned naturally how to be in a heightened state of readiness, even while grazing on the lawn. But people can not live this way for extended periods without making an adjustment. If you're still in the military, if you don't show up for work, that will only create more stress. That was what the soldier in respite was dealing with. It's always better to communicate your situation with the proper chain of command. It takes courage to do that, but that's what the military is about. And that's what overcoming depression is about.
Best of luck--
No offense to nana, I am not implying she is not giving you good advice, and she is for sure right about one thing, you do need to see someone. I would suggest though that you see a therapist first. If a therapist can help, then you won't need or be given medication, and you won't have to worry about becoming dependent on that medication. IF, you do need medication, a good therapist will refer you and admit they cannot help.
Please keep us posted.
Looks to me that you are sufering depresión, is better if you go to your doctor and find out what is hapening to you as soon as possible