headaches

[Jram]

I've been getting headaches every day since I was 11 and I am so sick of it!  I've had cat scans and MRIs but the doctors have no idea what is wrong with me.  I've had blood drawn to test for all sorts of things-- but nothing ever shows up as being out of the ordinary.

I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 11 also, and we've discussed that along with headaches.

I'm not currently on any medication (mostly because they just make me feel even worse, make my headaches worse, or stop working all together) and I'm at the end of the rope.  I can't find satisfaction in anything.  I used to have lots of hobbies but don't find those entertaining anymore.  I hate my job and I'm dreading going back to school.  I pretend to be happy so people don't ask me about it.  I just feel like sometimes the best option is to just pop a bunch of pills and sit around...  

I don't really know why I'm posting here.  I posted in the undiagnosed forum because of my headaches but there's been noone out there with the same experiences as me.  Does anyone have any idea of how to cope with this?  I hate myself so much for causing me so much pain.

[kalah]

I totally owe you an apology Jram....You had posted a legitimate question and I jumped in and tried to take Verona into a whole other converstion. Obviously you have something in common with Verona. I am not bi-polar.Her responses just seem to appeal to me,  she show so much compassion and understanding. I get so tired of feeling so alone and  I hesitate to reveal my true feelings. I hardly anticipate someone could grasp where I coming from. It sucks too!!   because I don't have hateful, vindictive thoughts. I don't believe I am.... nor have I been determined to be CRAZY. I think I am just too cerebral. I can't get out of my own head to just look around and appreciate the beauty that surrounds me. I feel so selfish thinking that I might be unique and different altogether. Who else worries so? I just feel burdened. I carry so much weight....Feel,feel,feel. I hate it

How do I stop?

[BS65]

I was thinking you may have food alergies too, as 1indiana suggested. Many people are alergic to wheat and don't even know it and food alergies can definitely cause severe headaches. You said you aren't taking any medication but I am not sure if you mean medication OF ANY KIND or just headache medication but IF you by chance are taking Ibuprophin (Advil, Motrin) I can tell you that often times taking that and then stopping can cause "rebound headaches". It is very annoying, first you take something for pain, then the pain goes away and then you get a rebound headache from the pain medication.

I was thinking you may have food allergies too. Many people are allergic to wheat and don't even know it and food allergies can definitely cause severe headaches. You said you aren't taking any medication but I am not sure if you mean medication OF ANY KIND or just headache medication but IF you by chance are taking Ibuprophen (Advil, Motrin) I can tell you that often times taking that and then stopping can cause "rebound headaches". It is very annoying, first you take something for pain, then the pain goes away and then you get a rebound headache from the pain medication.

Anyway, I have had headaches myself since 5th grade and I swear, I was at the doctor at least once or twice a month because of it. I started getting full blown migraines later at the age of 19 and for about two or three years they were severe and frequent. I also had CAT scans and MRI's over time and they never find anything. I take Imitrex now as needed for the migraines and I also take Ibuprophen, but that is mainly for pain in my arm from tendonitis and sometimes carpel tunnel from so much computer work.

But I am also sensitive to many foods and found that by eliminating certain foods I felt better. Unfortunately the only way to know which food(s) are causing the problems is by testing them one by one pretty much, and going to an allergist. I did and found I was highly allergic to grasses, mold, dust mites, and pollen. I am also allergic to dairy and sensitive to certain fruits and vegetables so I have to watch that or take enzymes in order to digest them.

Anyway I sure hope your headaches go away because life can be miserable with them, this I know. Good luck to you.


And Venora and kalah, I enjoyed learning about you both in and appreciate reading your posts as well. One thing I thought about when kalah talked about people not coming back and responding...this may be true but we don't know for sure whether or not they read what was written. We also don't know how many OTHER PEOPLE are benefiting from what they are reading here so it is always worth commenting on if you can offer any advice or share your own experiences. I know I have found some very sound advice and have benefited from reading about other people’s experiences about particular issues because this way I know “I am not the only one” out there having this problem or having trouble with something.

Take care everyone!

[kalah]

           It sounds like you are in such a good place. God has graced you. I want so much to be where you are. I've been waging my battle with depression for so long now that not so much inspires me. Occasionally I get in a place that allows me to keep on but it's so inconsistent.

     I have been one of those people you referred to "that are posting out of such pain in there lives". I'll post desperately and then go underground to my silent space. I don't know how to get out of my head and just be. Selfishly I continue to act as if 'it' is about me and all the while knowing it's really NOT. I should be able to give it to God. He is so much more capable and trustworthy. I can't seem to over-ride my ego and feel cursed with "self-will".. It would be such a relief to let someone take over the decision making in my life. I am really good at following instructions.
  
   Just a little about my history….. I just turned 40 and have been married for 3 1/2 years. First marriage…no kids although I desperately want them. Diagnosed with depression when I was twenty and suffered bulimia from the time I was 16.  Things are pretty much under control but it’s been a long road. I attempted suicide with every intention of being successful. Now I have to deal with that humiliation.

      I have been treatment resistant in drug therapy so last year I had ECT 12 times. No regrets but no huge progress either. My youngest brother is bi-polar and reluctant to get treatment unless he’s been arrested….which happens a lot. He’s beautiful and brilliant but he suffers so. Unfortunately he can’t stay organized and relies on county mental health.

     He and I are the youngest of 4 children. The first two seem to be fine. Our parents (and their parents) are big drinkers so we are all reliant on alcohol in some fashion….functionally or not. Statistically my life appears to be great. I know I am blessed...and....I am totally rambling. See what happens when you appear so sincere and kind.

     Verona, I hope you are well and I don’t expect you to necessarily respond to all of this.
Thanks!!

      

[Venora Moonwind]

Thanks for the kind words.I have suffered much being bi polar and I just feel like if I can help 1 person not suffer with mental health things then I will have done a good thing.

I must admit I get a little saddened when i dont hear from people that are posting out of such pain in there lives but at least I know I have tried to do what little I can

I started back last winter when I was going trhough all my thyroid problems and I found the thyroid board.Then I found the connection between thryoid /bipolar/depression..I read the posts and my heart just aches for all the posters that reach out here.
I feel with my meds and therapy  and the grace of the God and Goddess that I have conquered bipolar.I am in such a good place now.
So I will keep on keeping on.Thanks again
Love Venora

[kalah]

Hey Verona,
I noticed how often you post and with such good and sincere advice. I don't. It seems as though the effort is not worth the result when so many entries get such little attention and people aren't engaged. I was just wondering when you started coresponding on this site and what your background is.
How are you doing lately??
Kalah

[1indiana]

Is there any chance that the headaches are un related to you being bi-polar. Could you have a food allergy that flairs up the head aches. i suffer with depression and constantly have headaches too. Some days I feel as though I have a permenant headache.

Have you tried meditation, yoga, all things to maybe help you have a clearer mind. If they can give you the clarity to try and continue with your hobbies, although you may not enjoy it initially, trying to continue with them will stop you from sinking any further. I have been off anti-depressants for 2 months and i am struggling, but i am taking day by day. I know that if i think too much it will all overwelme me, so i struggle on and there are def brighter days, even with the headaches.

Good luck

[Venora Moonwind]

You are posting here bcause you need to talk bout what is happening to you.I am bi polar.I take celexa/zyprexa and it has been the best combl for me now for about 6 years.I see apsychiatrist for the med management and a therapist to work on my bipolar issues.I am in a good place now  but it took a long time to get here and lots of different meds.
Try to get some some help before you get to the breaking pointFirst do you eat right and get regularrest and exercise? This is very important for bipolars  to do. You sound onthe depressed cycleright now.Try to take brisk walks for at least 30 min. to raise your seritonin levels.
Hang in there and let me know how you are.Remember you are loved and worthy to be loved.
Love Venora