help

Hello. I'm married 11yrs with children but when I look at myself I feel ugly. And set off insecurity issues to the point I start accusing my husband of being tired and bored of me and that he wants someone younger and prettier. When I know for a fact that he loves me otherwise why would he stay and deal with me. I feel the only way is to lose weight. How do I make myself feel better?

[remar]

Start out slowly by talking some walks by yourself. No kids, no husband. This will give you time to yourself, be great for your health and you will also lose weight. Making good food choices is another great way to lose weight.
It sounds like you may have a little depression going on. I am not a Dr so I can't say for sure if that's what's going on. You might want to see your Dr and talk to him/her about how your feeling.

[HamedKhatiz]

Good morning or evening or day or night or afternoon and hello. My name is Hamed Khatiz and I am a sixteen year old student, writer drummer and many more from Sydney, NSW, Australia. Emotional insecurity is not a situation or, rather feeling, you want to get yourself into. You feel like you are being judged, that’s all it is. What you do not want to do is hide. What heaps of people do in this situation is they think everyone is judging them and then they think:

“Hey, no one can possibly judge me if they do not see me.”

They stop socialising with other people or they try to avoid socialisation and public appearance as much as possible. That is what you do not want to do. That causes severe depression, which I don’t think you have right now, but you will if you hide from socialisation because of you think people are going to judge you out there, never do that.

You snap at your husband because you do not like your own appearance and this is normal. When people are not so great about themselves, they go off at others. You say he wants a more beautiful woman and you are not her. But here is what strikes me. You then say you know he loves you. I think deep down, Spydermam, whatever your real name. You think, you know deep down you are beautiful and outgoing and pretty. Cause when you are bad about yourself, you are bad about others. You apologise to him later to apologise to yourself.

The bottom line is, deep down, you love you and this situation will pass. A rift with your husband never lasts and so a period of insecurity about yourself will pass.

Khatiz.

[HamedKhatiz]

Otherwise you wuold thnik he really is looking for a prettier girl. You really are the one he loves....

[Hobby10]

I've been married 13 years and have a child. It's hard to get older.  It helps me to go to hip hop classes and Zumba. It helps me to feel better about myself.  Just a suggestion.  Quit being so hard on yourself and don't be paranoid bout another woman unless  he gives u reason to b.  all the best.

[spydermam]

Thank u all so much for the advice. Honestly it does help. I hope once I lose the weight it raises my selfesteem. If it doesn't I guess it's time to see a doc. I know my husband loves me and my kids are what keeps me smiling. But unfortunately it's not only my weight that triggers insecurity. My mother being unfaithful to my father for years and asking me to stay quite about I've seen so many cracks to cheating. And with todays technology just makes it worse. I know my husband won't leave or cheat on me ever but my mind takes over and all negativity controls

[HamedKhatiz]

No problem, and yes, it is difficult, as Hobby10 said, to get older. If you want to lose the weight, I heavily recommend you try invest in a personal trainer. They deconstruct your technique and habits and then settle a timetable with what to do when and how much to do.

I have got one and I can see why everyone says they are beneficial, because they are.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm, seperations of relationships and witnessing dviorce can be emotional imprinting on someone, but there is that niggling "what if." "What if he really is cheating, what if he really is unfaithful?"

You know who you are and endurance is the only question.

Khatiz.