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help

i also feel im in a dark tunnel and i cant see the light.  i cant see anyway out.  i need help. But dont know where to get it.
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3149845_tn?1386354841
Hi Maggs, do your have a Job?
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no. I suffer from epilepsy.  i had to stop working in 1998.  I lost my mum last year and year before i lost my baby brother. Iv lost all my family at a young age.  my older brother and dad passed away when they wer young.  everything has changed.  i feel so alone and  i cry all the time. Iv lost interest in everything i did. Im tired all the time. I dont have any energy.
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3149845_tn?1386354841
I understand as went through a similar experience when i was 20. My brother,  a Vietnam vet, was killed and a month later my dad died in a truck crash. Then a month later my wife left me for my next door neighbor. There were 2 children involved.
I could not work so i just up and left my home and drove to the other side of the country to start my shambled life over, then i got Prostate cancer.
20 years later im ok.
Sometimes its good to just start over again.
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Avatar_f_tn
im sorry to hear what happened to you. I admire you.  iv not been out of the house. I get panic attacks and i get scared.  iv got a feeling Doom.  sometimes i think i should just end it. Because i was always out with friends.  but i movec house and they have moved on with their lives. They text me now and again.  my husband is a wonderful man. But he dosn really understand how i feel because i  dnt like crying in front of him.  but  this time the depression is soo bad that i just want  peace. My hearts breaking. Tears jus keep coming.I feel like jus walking out and keep walking.  its jus to much to to bear.  I jus feel so alone. My doctor isn much help.  i need help but nowhere to turn  to.
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3149845_tn?1386354841
Maybe change your medication. Meds can really help and talking big time help if you find the correct ones.

If  your feeling trapped then maybe do as i did, as mentioned sometimes you need to start your life over. Please understand one thing, we are alone and we need to take care of ourselves, no one knows us better than we do.
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1551327_tn?1408668686
Meds are definately helpful and I don't think I could live without them.  Depression can be caused by so many things and sometimes PTSD or grief are connected to it. Suicidal thoughts are also normal in a situation that you can't process through.  I have them often but what keeps me going is helping people.  It reminds me of a story:
A lady lost her daughter to leukemia and had to see a psychiatrist who tried to help her out of her trauma.  The Dr. was the girl every week and every week she still struggled with her loss.  One day the Dr. said to her before she left something that was hard for her to hear.  He told her that he understood it was hard but she had to fil the void left by her loss and try to turn it into a possitive.  She doubted his opinion and left the appoointment.  A few weeks passed and she came in for her nest appointment.  She told the doctor that she didn't need him anymore.  He looked at her bewildered and asked her why.  She told him after she left the appointment they had last she went home and baked cupcakes all night.  She made hundreds of them and took them to the childrens leukemia ward at the hospital.  She told the doctor that she found a way to fill the void.......she would make cupcakes.
I don't know everything, nobody does but keep fighting and make cupcakes.  Have a blessed day.

Larry
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Seems like you ought to be able to hold some sort of job even though you have epilepsy.  Because just lying around all day is bound to make anyone depressed.  Plus some med changes obviously and church or synagogue and/or some volunteer work would improve your mood once you're up to it.  Good luck.
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thank you for kind words.  im making an app to see a griefing coucilor and a therpist.  i  havent got over my mums death. I cnt stop thinking about all my losses.  i miss them all so much it really hurts. I blame myself thinking if only i could have one more day witb them. I never got to say goodbye to my brothers and mum and dad. Im alone now. Iv no sibblings left. I felt safe when they were here.  Christmas has a habit of bringing memories back.  i just need to talk to someone.  
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i dont ly around all day. My epilepsy comes on me very quickly like coming downstairs or out shopping. Iv worked partime fr i was 11 yrs old and then full time at 16 yrs old. I was a hard worker. So to say i ly around all day was very rude of you to say that.  Im a full time mum and iv paid my dues by working very hard all my life.
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3149845_tn?1386354841
Hi Magg, Have you ever thought about creating a product? Its really quite easy. You see them on TV all the time. Its the ones for $19.95. Just think of something that people need that is not on the market yet. Internet companies are always looking for new products. Think of a product idea, something simple. Google the internet to see if someone is already making it and if not just start the process. It should be something simple and can be sold to on line companies like an automotive accessory for example. I do this now, i came up with a simple car seat towel, had it Patented and then licensed with the top auto companies to use their logo and sell it to online accessory companies. There are many people who would finance a good idea.
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