how to start self cure for depression?

[prete]

Hello I'm 25 years old and I have depression that sets in and stays for days to weeks. Its been going on since I was a girl along with it I pull out my hair and have chronic pain and fatigue. I have weight gain and feel worthless most days. It does seem to go away when I get out and about but the simple things like a bill or a phone call can change my mood and Its so hard to get back from that point. If there is someone who has figured out a system or anything besides drugs please help. Its getting to the point where life is not as promising as I thought it was staring at the barrel of 30 years old. I fear I wont ever finish college or own my own business. I have great dreams but get derailed several weeks at a time. I'm mother to a wonderful 6 year old! He is my world and I would love to be more active with him but as I write this I am in bed. In bed is where I am most days.

Please don't read and run. God bless everyone suffering its taken a lot for me to realize this is not what life is meant to be. I am now engaged and fear that this will ruin things eventually. I only ever remember feeling balanced when I was pregnant with my son.

[prete]

Thank you so much I didn't think of it that way!!! Your comment was truly an eye opener. I am in progress with being more gentle and accomplishing small goals at a time. This semester has started and when I'm happy/excited I do as much homework as I can. Knowing that I get a little done with my thoughts throughout the day. when I'm happy I make it my goal each day to use my up time accomplishing my goals. Thanks again!!!

[Mozxanax]

This may sound simple and somewhat off point compared to the other responses, but you mentioned staring down the barrel at 30..... yes 30 can seem such a pressing  age, and in many respects entering your 30's is a pressing time. But looking back from my age of 53, you have so much youth and resources within you at 25. II went through that transition  from my 20's to 30's where time feels like it's catching up with you. Depression and anxiety make it seem so much more of a weight. You are still young enough to accomplish more than you may even realize. Take one step at a time toward your goals and if you accomplish even the smallest, if you move steady in the direction you want then you've done your best job for the day, the week, the year. Setbacks may come especially when depressed or anxious, but think of it this way, you already have a sense of the importance of time and many people don't learn that until their 40's and 50's. You have more insight because of your struggle. 25 isn't for staring down a barrel but a time for accomplishing so that when you look back, you'll be glad you weren't the type of person that took youth for granted and squandered it. There are way too many people your age that waste time because they think theres all the time in the world and regret it later. You're miles ahead already. Find a balance of following through on what  you feel you need to do and being gentle with yourself as well. Hope this is encouraging.

[prete]

Hello all I am still doing well. I did enjoy my date very much but quickly learned I ovulated early a few days later. So date night might have a lasting out come..... I will see joy in any out come! That's what I say as pep talk.

So I have a question? Should I be concerned that I have lost 20 odd pounds since my first post? I have done nothing to lose weight. I must say I'm very happy to see such weight lose but concerned that its not natural.

ex. 204 to 178???? I have been taking vitamins daily that I recently started to commit to regimen just before post......

I pray everyone is well!!!  

[nursegirl6572]

You have a wonderful attitude, that will go far in you addressing these emotions.  You have great insight to things, like identifying that you and your SO need to work on some communication.  VERY good!

Truly, a LOT of the success in managing depression and anxiety comes from what a person does to address it, and their outlook.  That's not to say that people don't get better if they don't have a positive outlook, but it definitely helps a whole lot!  I feel that a majority of changing the way we think and react has to do with changing our patterns of thinking, and habits we get into.  

Keep up the good work, and of course, keep us updated!  Have a wonderful night on your date!  Enjoy every moment!

[prete]

Thanks you all again for the advice and well wishes. I have my first date night tonight!!!! I have bought a couple out fits and new shoes. Its not much but I haven't bought anything for myself in months.

I'm still struggling with my emotions and seem to get a little upset more often. I have realized I don't tell my fiancé when he make me angry. So we talked it over and he now understands why I'm quiet when I'm about to get mad. We have decided to express ourselves more thoroughly. I told him that I feel alone, having to take charge of everything because if I don't he worries about bills to an annoying degree.

I am happy this is the first time I have got up at 7am in weeks and I'm happy to be up!!! I'm So thankful, I know that God has more for me. I'm starting my spiritual journey soon. I'm very lucky to have such understanding persons in my life. Online and at home.

Thanks and have a wonderful weekend.

[Paxiled]

There is one poster on her who obviously has a strong bias against any medicine that isn't by prescription -- oh, wait, this same person meditates, which comes from Oriental medicine.  Gee, that's not FDA approved, and there are so many different forms of meditation, which one to choose?  Which is to say, most prescription medications come from plant medicine.  To say vitamins can't be absorbed in pill form is to say, I guess, that prescription medicine can't be absorbed in pill form, either, if we're to be consistent that pills can't be broken down and the contents released.  Besides, most plant medicine is in capsule form.  And this poster hasn't looked at Teva Pharmaceuticals, which makes the majority of generics, and it has been cited for violations more often than anyone can count.  GlaxoSmithKlline has been found in violation of FDA rules for virtually every major drug it's ever marketed.  When's the last time Tylenol had Tylenol in it?  All this is to say, yes, there is a problem with purity, but it's not just natural remedies that have this problem, it's also prescription medicine.  FDA and FTC have all the tools they need to regulate purity and false claims, and they can and do.  Yes, there is currently a problem with Chinese-sourced products -- all products, not just natural medicine.  The reason is the same reason Teva and other pharmaceutical companies keep paying out huge fines for false claims -- greed unchecked by adequate regulation.  There is much research on natural medicine, some good, some bad, most inadequate, but it is medicine that has been around for far longer than pharmaceutical medicine and the harms caused are far less serious than the harms caused by pharmaceuticals even when the latter are used correctly.  Which is to say, when it comes to medicine, everything needs to be on the table to find what works best, but the whole situation is a mess because there's just too much that's unknown at this point in time and not enough money in the hands of independent researchers who have no skin in the game to do truly independent research with enough people in the studies to truly see what's what.  So we all do the best we can.  It would be better if we didn't let our biases get in the way of sharing what has worked for us, and if we didn't cite "some researchers" because you can find "some" researcher on every side of every issue.  It would also be nice if the poster would finally understand the meaning of OTC, which doesn't apply to natural medicine at all.  There are conditions for which natural remedies work best and those for which prescription works best, and people for whom one or the other works best due to their individual reactions.  If you know which companies to buy from you can avoid the tainted products, which are usually sold by discounters and on-line direct marketers.  Many manufacturers of natural remedies, particularly vitamins, follow pharmaceutical standards for manufacture.  And it's nice to know also that vitamins are vitamins, but herbs and amino acids aren't vitamins.  Aspirin comes from white willow bark.  If you can get by with white willow bark, which isn't as strong, there's little chance of internal bleeding.  If you use aspirin, there's a great chance of illness or death.  It is what it is.  I don't know which works best for any one person, and don't pretend to, but I do believe in the dictum, first do no harm, which means you start with the least potentially harmful treatment first and only move up if you need to.  In our society, we too often start with the harmful treatments.  And the oath that doctors take is called the Hippocratic oath, named for an ancient Greek physician who is considered the father of modern medicine but who was, ahem, an herbalist.

[aCakes]

Yes, it may not be proven. But I wanted to offer her an alternative to prescription meds. And it can't hurt to try :)

[birdie0907]

All those vitamins are not proven to do anything about your mood. Some researchers say you can't even absorb pill vitamins.

[aCakes]

I think you nailed it about the move. Big changes, changing jobs, moving, etc. can throw us off. And I am the same way, so I can understand. I believe that is what set you off. Some years I'm on Meds and some years I'm not. It depends on my life situations at the time. But when I was not on meds, I took the 5 basic building blocs of vitamins... Multi Vitamin, Multi Mineral, Vitamin D, Fish Oil Omega 3-6-9, and Probiotics. I took very high doses of fish oil and high doses of Vitamin D to help boost my mood. It seemed to help. This was all recommended from my Nutritionist friend.

[nursegirl6572]

Hello and welcome!  It's so nice to see that you're feeling better!  

It's not at all surprising that you started exhibiting these signs after your move.  ANY major life change can cause stress and things like anxiety and depression.  If this all just started after you moved, and you had no history of this before, I would be willing to bet the move was the main trigger.  People can have "situational" anxiety or depression.  That would be the symptoms of anxiety and depression as a result of a life stressor, not as a chronic illness.  Situational depression usually resolves once the stressor has been eliminated or dealt with, but sometimes, it can stick around, especially if a person kind of rolls over and gives up at the first sign of trouble.

I'm so glad you're feeling better, just keep your guard up and stay aware of how you're feeling.  Getting engaged back in life is the perfect way to address this.  Sometimes, after you've started isolating yourself and withdrawing from social situations, it's a little tough to get back to "normal".  You may have days where you have to push yourself a little bit.  Having a variety of hobbies in your life is very fulfilling, that will help a lot, so be sure to continue to do those things you enjoy.  Just be patient with yourself, and kind to yourself.

If you notice that the feelings you mentioned in your initial post are sort of hanging around, even after you've put some effort forth in pushing yourself more, then it would be time to talk to a professional.  Just be aware of how you're feeling and definitely don't brush anything under the rug.

Best to you, keep us posted!

[prete]

Thank you this forum was very helpful and I am beyond thankful that help was just a click away. I never thought to open up online before. I will keep in touch.

[prete]

Your right everyone needs time and I actually crochet, make cheese, and have house plants that I tend to as needed. I have implemented a date night because it seems to be the only thing missing. lol I know that may sound nuts but before the move I spent a lot of time hanging out with my mother and sister. Its crazy we don't get along the best but nothing can tear us apart. Any how thanks a lot for the advice I will try to do something soothing.

[Bubulous]

It was good to hear from you and you sound sooo much better.  I hope this continues and if I don't see you on here I will assume you are still doing good.  Come back anytime :)
Larry

[prete]

Please forgive my absence my sister came into town. I talked to my sister and honestly I feel a lot better. My life is close to perfect everything I've ever wanted is happening. Some how the move from South Carolina to Texas took a major toll on me. I didn't realize how far I fell until I saw hair balls in every room on every arm rest. I kept saying I gonna roll the same ball so I don't pull anymore but those were just words.

My sister took me out to get my hair don't and mani/pedi!!! My fiancé was in awe! He always tells me how pretty I am but he was speechless because I hide my hair under a hat like always and wouldn't let him touch it like always. I came out from showering and gave he a major shock I even wore a little makeup.

My sister helped me realize I love to doll up and I've always been a sassy type. She told me she didn't know me in this form. Her big sister never owned a t-shirt. I cried as she told me that I was about to ruin what I've always wanted; my family and peace of mind. I am crying as I write this, I was really at wits end and my kid sister gave me the strength to pull myself back. I'm not totally out but this is the first few days in a while I didn't have a headache upon waking. I know its more going on than just my psyche my body is seriously out of whack. I will get things checked out soon.

THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART PLEASE KNOW THAT I WAS UNABLE TO RESPOND, HOWEVER I READ WHAT I COULD ON MY (NOT SO SMART PHONE). LOVE AND PEACE OF MIND TO EVERYONE.

[birdie0907]

Natural otc meds have no regulations, so there is no quality control over their purity when manufactured. A recent study found many had a purity issue because the farmers supplying the factory slipped in lots of substitutes They could also be coming from some bacteria laced environment in a chemically polluted factory in China and gel-capped in the US to make it seem like a safer product because then they are allowed to say it is manufactured in US.

Dep and anxiety feed off each other and when you get to the point that you are spending time horizontal in bed it is more difficult to get out of it. My meditation book said few people have what it takes to get out of that situation so recommended meds until you remember what it is like to be happy again. Then the meditation can keep you there, although try any non-medicine avenues now and during when you are on meds so you have a focused attitude about being happy again. My situation was like that - so depressed and anxious while living in a black world that I couldn't believe doc's orders would work but I went on the meds anyway and got stabilized.

Likely the pains and fatigue you mention are from the anxiety and depression making you over-analyse your body looking for signs that something is wrong. It is a vicious circle so a good place to start is either imagine you don't have pains and they are in your head for a few days but if that doesn't work go to doc to see if there is anything wrong - If doc tells you the pains don't exist and are just anx nagging at you and making your nerves twitch here and ouch there all the while raising your anx, accept the diagnosis and try to move on to where you used to be when a pain here and there gave you no concern because you didn't think you were physically ill.
Write back.

[SMcGregor]

Negative thoughts attract negative thoughts ... and this can lead to fear and anxiety, lack of self confidence and self esteem, depression, illness, disease, and more. And ... we help to create this for ourselves by hanging on to the negative thoughts. Perhaps not even the initial negative event but we have multiplied its effect in our mind and body by not using techniques to handle it, moving through it and learning from it. So then emotional negativity becomes a habit.

It is extremely important to express your feelings and talk about events. This can be done with friends or with a counsellor. Look at the consequences of internalising or pushing down negative feelings.

Regards,

[wilsonmadison]

No need to worry for anything like this. My friend is suffering from depression from last 6 months. He did every possivle task to get rid of depression but now he is feeling betterwhen i suggested him to have a trip with friends and enjoy the life.
I think you have bipolar disorder which can be controlled by you in some simple ways like:
Take your meds at the time properly.
Exercise daily.
Have balanced diet.
Avoid travelling to other time zones.
Improve sleeping habits like daily sleeping hours should be same.
Avoid alcohol.
Avoid illegal drugs.
Reduce stress.
Seek treatment immediately.

[Bubulous]

No worries, I am glad you liked it.  There are 3 more if you want to read more lol.... a lot more.

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Bipolar-Disorder/Fighting-depression-part-2/show/1883536
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Bipolar-Disorder/Fighting-Depression-part-3/show/1884570
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Bipolar-Disorder/Fighting-Depression-part-4-simplicity/show/1887082

[calamfred]

I read your link, thanks for sharing it!
C

[Bubulous]

Balance....
I suffer from bipolar.... Well I don't suffer all of the time.  Coming out of depression is difficult and when we do we hope that it never happens again.
It is a lot easier to stay out of it than to come out of it as I am sure you know.  I fight my depression by trying to stay ahead of it.  I have a lot of theories on fighting depression.  Some of them are silly but I am a silly person.  If you want to read some of them I will give you the links.  If nothing else you may be able to get a laugh out of them:

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Bipolar-Disorder/Fighting-depression/show/1883533

[calamfred]

Hi,
I have suffered with depression for many years. I sometimes think emotional pain can be worse than physical pain. I know there are many "natural" supplements that are geared toward treating depression/anxiety, but I have never taken any of them. I do see a therapist, and honestly just being able to talk things thru has helped a bunch! I also take prescription meds, and it did take a few different ones before I found the right one for me.
I notice you said you only ever remember feeling balanced when you were pregnant...have you had your hormones checked? I know you're young, but things like birth control pills can affect one's mood... It also would probably be a good idea to just have a general check up with your dr, if you haven't already, and have blood work to check everything, like your thyroid, etc.
Another thing that is helpful is trying to make sure you can have some relaxation time just for you. It's sometimes hard to do when you're a mom to a younger child, but it's really important for you to try and take the best care of you that you can..that way you're able to take care of others, too...It's not selfish to try and have even a few minutes of alone time.
I find that quilting is relaxing for me...granted I am old enough to be your mom..lol. Find what it is that you enjoy..reading a book, hobbies, etc.
Take care, and hope you feel better soon!
C