hypochondriasis, anxiety, OCD, depression

[robkfromphilly]

I don't know where to begin. I'll start with my current life/situations. I'm recently undergoing tests on my kidneys, though I was told it wasn't going to be a serious problem. I recently only merely french kissed a woman I didn't know, but both these situations I've gone into an anxious frenzy creating things in my head. For example that she was bleeding. Though I've received countless information saying I wasn't at risk for HIV or much of anything, I still continue to pace around, search the web relentlessly, and have panic attacks. My sleep schedule is screwed up beyond belief, so I sleep during the day, currently I'm unemployed because I feel I can't do much of anything while my "health" is in limbo. I'm constantly repeating the same processes over and over (ex: refreshing the same web page time and time again) and thoughts that shouldn't be in my head because they're illogical continue to appear time and time again, creating "what if" scenarios in my brain. Through all this, I still have a social life on weekends but find that absolutely nothing is fun anymore, due to my incessant fears of STDs, etc. A relationship at this point seems more harmful to my psyche then good. I tried Lexapro for a few weeks but it kept me up at night. My health insurance soon expires, so the likelihood of me seeking a psychiatrist doesn't seem promising. I'm really simply open to hearing many suggestions, ideas, on where/what I do or go from here, thanks.

[Jake2007]

Hi there
I'm sorry ro hear about your worries but i'm also going through the same situation. I have anxiety,slight OCD (being posioned by food + more) & also an obsession with HIV, as you may have seen I have posted on the HIV support forum before and i`m booked for my test on Thursday.
I have been worried about my health for a long time but fortunatley I have came to a point were I have turned a corner with my anxiety and truely feel im on the long road to recovery and I now understand that the only way to get rid of the fears is to face them and overcome each obstical.
As I live in the UK our national health service paid for my uselless psychiatrist and I also paid my own privet therapy which was also a load of bull.
I found my best help came from a self help programe called the linden method it was a bit pricey and I was sceptical but it is great and i would highly recomment.
I notice you said you don`t work I found that when I got back to work I could focus my attention on my day to day job, I think that getting a job or even finding a hobbie that could distract you from constanley thinking about your symtoms would be of great benefit.
My best advise would be to try and relax think about things rationally you are one of may millions of people going through the same thing and all the troubling symtoms and thoughts are just meaningless side affects of your body being set in a state of anxiety.
As you start to relax more your brain will adjust back to the normal relaxed old self and then you will find scary situations easier to handle.

PS Use breathing Techniques to handle the panick attacks and really try to master them as this is the best was of getting your freedom back as you know if you ever get anxious they are ready to use.

Good luck

[TPING]

I was just reading your posts and I too have had the biggest fear of hiv or syphliss. My story is kind of long but i helps to ge any help. It started 4 years ago, i got tooken advantage of a man. not knowing his status I was scared after. Im married with kids. Well I started to feel not well weeks after not thinking of hiv cause i didnt know anything about symptoms. Then i got on the internet after i started have headpains, night sweats, stiff neck. etc. The fear got worse. I then lost so much weight. I waited months after to go to clinic. I still didnt mention nothing to my husband. After the clinic they tested me. I ended up having trich. Oh god what next i thought. I had to wait for the other tests. They were neg but that was not good enough for me. I kept reading all the symptoms and I had all. Its been 4 years, me too therapy, phys. Was on all kinds of depression pills and nothing worked. Its 2007 and i still fear the symptoms, I call cdc all the time to asking same questions, talk about crazy. I havent felt well and the doc say nothing is showing up, well i ended up with an autoimmune disease, hashmotos(hypothyrism). read that could be caused by a virus. and and they say I have fibro cause theres no answers to my pains. Headaches are worse and I have read thats a symptom of both hiv and syp.I dont know if any of you have had symptoms. I bruise easily too. Well thats my story. If any help please responed. Worried Mom till this day.

[3rdchild]

Hi, I have had ocd for years.  There's lots of books out there.  You could also visit the ocd support groups at yahoogroups.com.  They have doctors and very many people that will answer your questions better than myself.  :)

[heelz]

the "to" section of the above post should read. "EVERYBODY IN HERE NEEDS TO CALM DOWN"...which should make the first line of the body of the post make sense.

[heelz]

Its a lot harder than just typing that...ive been a minor hypochondriac since childhood, when I would see my parents watching TV, and there was a new outbreak of e coli at some fast food restaurant, I would hear the list of symptoms, then go sit on the toilet and "realize" that i had all of them. It was more like "make them up". I didnt want to tell my parents because they probably wouldnt believe me because they arent hypochondriacs like myself, and plus, their knowing that I had e coli was only going to cause me more stress. So, I went to be dozens nights, whenever there was a new story on the news about any medical problem, thinking I wasnt going to wake up...and became quite content that that was how life was going to go on. In the morning it was all better again.

In adulthood, a major life event for me triggered my hypochondria again. After having several medical people say that I was at "no risk" or "very low risk" for hiv, and two negative tests...I convinced myself that I had hiv. I would google all the time, every night and just love to read the symptoms. I started manifesting them. A hypochondriac's worst enemy is somatization. The brain controls the body--so if you think you are sick you can create the symptoms. I read that one symptom of hiv is sores in the mouth...and guess what appeared the next morning! I also read that a rash on the trunk of the body was a symptom so I looked at a small rash i have on my chest and freaked out. Hypochondria is a mental illness and is very powerful...it can make u experience symptoms of disease that you do not have...it can also make you lie to youself. I conveniently forgot that I had had that rash since before I had lost my virginity.

I used to love to look at medical forms and cautiously look at for the letters h, i, v. They would scare the daylights out of me, but I realized that I was doing to get a rush, like cutters do when they hurt themselves.

Even if the symptoms arent somataforms, they can be caused my anxiety. I was having so much anxiety that I couldnt eat of sleep, which made my "symptoms" even worse. I took a vacation and my symptoms went away...I am under some stress now so I am getting a little anxious again. Ive been to the STD clinic three times in the last four months, and will go once more tomorrow. After that I have promised myself only to go at the intervals they recommend.

There are people who are actually sick in the world and cannot do anything about it. Hypochondria is something we have the power to control, and I think as people who have used scarce medical resources to fuel an extremely self-centered obsession with disease, we owe it to those who are really sick to calm down....breathe...and make healthy choices. If you know that googling "syphillis" is going to cause you anxiety, just don't do it. It takes some practice and I slip every once in a while....but realize that its not helping you, its hurting you. Remember that the mind controls the body, and can make the body do almost anything...that includes manifesting practically any symptom of a disease.

And as you get rid of your hypochondria, remember that your body is not perfect. The brain sends enough signals a day for there to be errors...so there will always be unexplained things that happen; dont think that because your eyelid twitched that you  have parkinsons!

And finally, something that my sister told me. There are children who are born with hiv every day. These children did not ask for hiv, and have done nothing to "deserve" (not that anyone does deserve it) this. HIV seems to be a common disease hypochondriacs pick to obsess over, I think for those children we need to try our best to not obsess over diseases that we do NOT have. If you are sexually active with more than one partner, use condoms for vaginal and anal sex, and get tested every 6 months that is ALL you have to do!

[vidaminj]

My name is Jeremy.  I was the victom of several horrible acts of child abuse.  I'm adopted.  I've been around multiple families who abuse their kids.  Many people have witnessed them and did nothing.  CPS was involved and did nothing.  The abuse for me physically lasted until I was 17 and the mental and emotional abuse continues to this day.  I have a lot of anxiety issues and problems with what u might define as hypochondria.  I have phantom pains all over my body all day long.  I subconsciously worry I'm going to get beaten or be homeless.  Fact is I am homeless.  Being beaten will always be a scary thing for me.  There ARE plenty of DUMB people out there who take out there anger on other living breathing human beings and its not okay.  The effects are life long and very hard for some people like myself to even acknowledge because the acts were so violent and so extreme.  Please don't waste time pretending its all your fault if your that freaked out ur always sick I'm sure you suffered some illness or trauma and it triggers you that is okay being upset is okay it isn't your fault what you need is support someone who understands and wont judge you or put you at any greater risk to yourself or anyone else.  Anxiety after trauma is real and very scary to deal with.  I'm still just starting to understand my own situation.  It's painful and unpleasant and it really helps to have kind hearted people to talk to and just listen and offer advice and when they can't think of advice just listen or share a story.  Just be a friend because there are lots of people without many feeling pretty sad about there own situations and not really knowing what to do.  Help is out there I know it...just believing in myself is hard with the situation I'm in.  Fear is a powerful emotion trust me I know.