i DONT want to live any more

[doomsDAYisComming]

hi im 14 year old i will start from the start so you guys no alil about me i used to be depressed all the time, my gardes were at grade 6 standered but i am in year 9, i was cutting myself all the time, thinking of how to kill myself i nearly got away with it one time but my mom came in and cut the belt of my neck and i was rushed to hospital, i was there for 2 months, but when i got back to school all my teachers would not give me a brake they kept nagging me to tell them what i am going through and why[of corse i didnt] . a week or two later i started to cut my self again and a guy walked up behind me and said "theres no point doing that would you like to tell me why' i suddenly felt relaxed near him, we were talking alot and i found out he was my ex'bf worst enimy, he asked me out 2months later and i tort he would be a joke to get back at my ex but he wasent he taught me how to love and care again, to respect my body. then recently i have lost contact with him and have gone back to my old self cutting myself trying to kill myself, my grades flunked year 9. and out of the blue he called up and said sorry he could not get to ring earler, at that moment i knew he was not going to leave me, we were talking for three hours then we orginised him and his mom n bro to come to my house on thias sunday. i am needing help because i dont think i can make it to tis sunday. another person has helped me alotand i thank her for that but i need more support, my family does not help. my ex does not help i cant cope. i need help i have never asked this be4 i met a new preson on her she is lovley and has given me alot of support but i am afraid i need more to last 3 days.

[Kobuk]

Hi, I cannot relate to cutting, but I know about helplessness and lonelyness.   Maybe you should get some professional help - see a counselor or your school nurse.  Hope this helps.  I'm here...

[goodgardenpeas28]

I have totally been there! I mean right down to the cutting and the guy, Its like you were describing my life! I have good news and not so great news. The good news is that I am SO glad I didn't kill myself when I had the chance( and boy did I have chances) the not so good news is that the thing with the boy who made me feel amazing didn't work out and I felt ****** for months afterward BUT now I am on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds and feel SO much better, hell I made it through highschool. I went for a whole year and half without cutting after four years of cutting and I am a semi-recovering bulimic( semi- recovering because things do get rough sometimes and I still have the thoughts) but I haven't cut myself in over a month and I think this time i can go for the full two years! My advice to you is to find someone you can really talk to (like a professional not just us) because it will get you through this long term, we can only help you in thew moment, I'm sorry I didn't see this post  sooner I just hope you get to read it! Best of luck, and message me if you need to talk!

[donnerg]

I've been at the cutting stage also.. let's just say I use to be in a hurting situation for many, many years. this is why you must listen close to me.
First, you need professional help.. ask someone at school to help you find someone.. or call your health dept. or community health clinic.. or just start calling people in the phone book yellow pages, Mental Health clinics.. whatever.... I am getting better.. and life does get better and is worth living.. even tho because yours is bad not it doesn't seem like it.. if you write me I will try and help you find someone there..
NEXT very important thing is YOU.. don't worry or be concerned about your boyfriend.. ex-boyfriend.. teachers.. newspaper boy.. ANYONE but the most important one.. and that is YOU.. If anyone really cares about you they will help you heal.. A boyfriend aint too good of a boyfriend if is is nagging or griping at you while you are trying to get well..get rid of everything that doesn't help you heal your life.
If you want a better life.. you have to want a better you than the one you have right now.. and the only way that will happen is if YOU help YOU..
I could go on and on.. but you have to make the choices.. tell yourself you want something better.. then go get it.. Please message me or whatever anytime you want to talk or need any help..