i am a little muddled

hi i am new so can anyone give some insight to what i am going through or has anybody else experiencing this etc.

i have had depression for 5 years with many ups and downs as you do. this year was the worst year for me. my meds had to be changed as they appeared to have lost effect. along with all this i had various stresses as well of various strengths etc.
but one day around two months ago in the middle of changing around meds etc. i woke up and suddenly had no feelings for my fiancee. i had thoughts and feelings i did not love her anymore and wanted to break up. i would cry everytime i had this etc. which was distressing as i knew i didnt want to be experiencing this. it was so intense 24/7.
3 weeks ago i couldnt shake it so we decided to call it a day and just be friends. well thinking it would all stop. it didnt it carried on. the thoughts of do i love her or not etc on and on and crying all the time.
we stay in contact etc. i am now on a new med which is low dosage at moment and only had it for three weeks.
lately everytime i think of her i get upset. then i get a masive rush of adrenaline then my heart pounds and i get a dry mouth. sometimes ill cry and feel sick as well.
last few days i ahve been the same tearfull one minute i want her back and miss her and think of all happy times and the future etc. then sometimes ill get i am not sure will i feel all numb again etc and have the thoughts. then ill get upset again.
i wish i could go back to how i was before it all started.
i feel sad all the time i am not interested really in anything or anyone. irritable and get angry quick. energy and motivation is limited.
so any ideas is this my depression and anxiety screwing with me?
oh last week we met and went to see lee evans i really was not there to be honest my mind wouldnt shut up. the week before that we went out for the day and up untill tea time i completly had all my feelings back for her i was happy. but when i got to teas time the thoughts and feelings started up again and started to bring me down i was tired as well.

so is it my depression screwing me. sorry for the word but i couldnt think of anything else.

thanks again for reading.