i couldnt control bcoz unsolvable problem

[1808578]

Hi this xx man and im facing unsolvable problem where a man shouldnt get this, If it is like normal family or financial problem i would have solved it and i had solved alreday solved them with out any pressures. But  I want to share my problem bcoz by seeing me some other people may get some idea about this and can prevent. I am 28 and i was regularly watching porn and mastrubation and every where (internet) it is said that mastrubaton is good for health ánd increases ur penis size. I always had that in my mind and never saw about it also causes problems. The same thing happen for me As i was over excited one day i tried mastrubation 2 times continuously. than my problem started i get weak erections later it was little ok like i was able to get full erections in  the sleep and when i lay down and when i stand up no erections. and after some days it continued like that. and one day  i want to practice like when ever i get total erection i stand up and and stimulate to be like that and practiced for 2 hours. from next day i dont get erections at all  and i feel total num from threee days. i am very much depressed like it always forces me to suicide. Actually i dont want to and i dont have that dare but i couldnt bare my anxiety and couldnt control this....the bad thing which i have done was i told about this to my mom and also said about my suicide and now she is crying like a hell and always praying to god. Im in good job in another country and my mariage was fixed but unfortunately  i have to cancel it and they ask for reason but i dont have any thing and I am only son to my mom and i was alive untill now just because im alway thinking about her.
And my problem seems to be venous leakage or some complecated problem where there is no cure for it ... so guys I want to advice please stay away from porn and mastrubation and find a girl. Because if you get any problems regarding erection urologist cannot do any thing regarding your problem because it is not that much know about the problem untill now .penis is a sensitive part  and any surgical treatment leads to permanent erection problem.

I am very much worried about my mom she is just living because of me and thinking of my future she was betrayed by my father when i was small and she struggled as a lot and finally brought me up to a good positon , I m from india so just imagine for a women how much she would have struggled and about the indian relations,

I am well settled and doing good job and with my mothers and my savings we recently brought a house and just now i called my mom and she cant stop crying and she said please come to our country ill sell house, no need to marry and we just go to doctors and can check up if you dont get well, no need to marry and stay alive with me,

today I am unable to control my anxiety and i have two options one hang my self and another is i found snake venom, But want to know if i take snake venom can i die or i need to inject into my veins.But i was thinking if i could get more sleeping pills or any poison to eat where its easy death but the options which i have i need to go for painful death. . I dont know swiming but here the water is frozen every where so i cant do that.Guys please suggest me some easy options to die with out pain

[1808578]

yes ofcourse i know that becoz im have lot of future plans in my life i dont want to die but i have an unsolvable problem where i can not live  with anxiety every day and thinking that just for 10-15mins in need to bear the pain even i dont have dare to do that. I have .....just now spoke to my mom and she was heart breaked and she want me to come and try once with doctors ,,, But i know i cant solve my problem previously it was little better and had some hopes now but im hopeless and my problem became worse. I have been checking many internet sites forum there is no cure for this.
Hope you can understand my situation.....if i go to my place then all will ask me y are you not marrying and even all relatives and friends and from three months i was not able to talk to the people ....previously i was very happy person ....making jokes, very active in all activities. from three months im very dull and anxiety.......some time i get anxiety like i can not control it and its forcing me to suicide.

[mammo]

That's not what we're here for, and don't you think seeing a psychiatrist would be better!  Have you not thought about what this would do to your mother?  Are you sure you won't go to an even worse place with even worse suffering? You need to seek professional help ASAP!