Aa
i hate my life.
My title says it all. I lost to me what feels like everything in November. Home, husband ect. I'm left living with my mother, sharing a bedroom with my 6 year old son, and am 6 months pregnant with another little boy. Because of high risk I'm on a leave of absence from work which now leaves me without income. My son hates me. My husband wont come home. I'm losing my will to live more and more every day. My son and my unborn baby need me and I know that. But I feel lost and overwhelmed, alone. I don't think I can do this anymore. I pray very night that I die in my sleep so I can be free of my pain and misery. I don't want to live anymore. Not like this. I don't know what to do.
The above poster gave you really great advice. The only place to go from here is up. There are many mothers out there raising their children without being with the father. Maybe things will work out between you and your husband but in the mean time you have to focus on yourself, your pregnancy and your son. Make some calls and do some research online to find out about getting help for yourself, financially and emotionally. I know it seems like the end of the world but it is'nt. My father left my mom when I was 5 and my sister was 2. My mom did not have a job, a car, they rented their house and she had no way to pay for it and he would'nt help. She had one good friend that helped her get a job and a car and finally an apartment. You also have that one person there to help you, your mom. We're also here to listen and help anyway we can. Hang in there, okay. Things will get better but you have to put some work into it for yourself and your children.
I'm just so sad. I feel like a failure. I want so badly for things to work out. And I am terrified to even.think of if they don't. When my husband left he took my heart and the belief that everything will be ok with him. I just don't know if I can be the mother my kids need. I want to I really do, but I'm afraid I'm just too broken to fix. And I'm scared of ruining them even more. Losing my home is nothing. I would gladly live in a box if it kept my family together. I'm trying to pull myself out of my misery but its been hard. I fail and feel even more miserable everytime I find even the smallest flutter of happiness. How could I be so selfish and feel happiness without my whole family present. I'm scared of myself.
Hi there! I am terribly sorry about the way you are feeling right now and believe me when I say, I get it!
I heard someone say once "hitting rock bottom is a good thing because when you are at the bottom the only place to go is UP". I remember thinking "what a bunch of baloney??" But after a while it all made perfect sense. Girl, you are at the bottom and you need to find a way to pull yourself up. Death solves nothing, you're just dead as a doornail. That's it. In life anything can happen.
Stacey, that which does not kill us, makes us stronger. I have stopped fearing my emotional pain, you know why? While my heart might be figuratively broken, I remind myself that it is not LITERALLY broken. I can do things and I can make things happen, but it can only happen if I jump outta my jammies and make it happen.
You and your husband have your thing but that baby and that 6 year old prince that you have, they need a mother. Mothers are very essential. Mother is a must and father is a maybe. When I say they need a mother I don't mean one who only breathes but doesn't operate. They need a healthy, functioning MOTHER who is all that a mother ought to be. I have found that when life *****, I just do something nice for my daughter and it feels GOOD. When life ***** even harder, I just do my job as a mom even harder and when I see the apple of my eye smiling, its my way of saying "F U life!"
The years are not waiting and when you miss time outta your child's life, they never forget it and you will always regret it. Speak to someone sweetie, that's your first step. I know money is tight so call a free hotline or go see a church counselor. You can't work right now, well guess what? its outta your hands, its for a good reason. You are taking care of that wonderful unborn child and right there, that's good parenting. It'll all be worth it when that baby comes out kicking, screaming and healthy.
Its not a death sentence. Once you have the baby THEN you can focus on the other situations (job, house etc). When you have worked through you and your children, and the three of you are at a place where you feel good, then you focus on your marriage. Yes, it is a top priority I know but dear, some things cannot be solved right away it needs time and trying to solve a problem that cannot be resolved at that time will add to your stress and drive you insane.
If you die, your children will be without the person to help them through life, teach them right from wrong, love them unconditionally, take them to the zoo, sit up with them, advise them when they are teenagers and cry at their wedding. Young as they are they will miss you and they will always feel lacking, feel incomplete without you. Not only that but you will never get the opportunity to know how great life could turn out, or how you could exceed your imagination and expectations. Give yourself a chance.
Take care and update me!
xoxoxo Anna
I heard someone say once "hitting rock bottom is a good thing because when you are at the bottom the only place to go is UP". I remember thinking "what a bunch of baloney??" But after a while it all made perfect sense. Girl, you are at the bottom and you need to find a way to pull yourself up. Death solves nothing, you're just dead as a doornail. That's it. In life anything can happen.
Stacey, that which does not kill us, makes us stronger. I have stopped fearing my emotional pain, you know why? While my heart might be figuratively broken, I remind myself that it is not LITERALLY broken. I can do things and I can make things happen, but it can only happen if I jump outta my jammies and make it happen.
You and your husband have your thing but that baby and that 6 year old prince that you have, they need a mother. Mothers are very essential. Mother is a must and father is a maybe. When I say they need a mother I don't mean one who only breathes but doesn't operate. They need a healthy, functioning MOTHER who is all that a mother ought to be. I have found that when life *****, I just do something nice for my daughter and it feels GOOD. When life ***** even harder, I just do my job as a mom even harder and when I see the apple of my eye smiling, its my way of saying "F U life!"
The years are not waiting and when you miss time outta your child's life, they never forget it and you will always regret it. Speak to someone sweetie, that's your first step. I know money is tight so call a free hotline or go see a church counselor. You can't work right now, well guess what? its outta your hands, its for a good reason. You are taking care of that wonderful unborn child and right there, that's good parenting. It'll all be worth it when that baby comes out kicking, screaming and healthy.
Its not a death sentence. Once you have the baby THEN you can focus on the other situations (job, house etc). When you have worked through you and your children, and the three of you are at a place where you feel good, then you focus on your marriage. Yes, it is a top priority I know but dear, some things cannot be solved right away it needs time and trying to solve a problem that cannot be resolved at that time will add to your stress and drive you insane.
If you die, your children will be without the person to help them through life, teach them right from wrong, love them unconditionally, take them to the zoo, sit up with them, advise them when they are teenagers and cry at their wedding. Young as they are they will miss you and they will always feel lacking, feel incomplete without you. Not only that but you will never get the opportunity to know how great life could turn out, or how you could exceed your imagination and expectations. Give yourself a chance.
Take care and update me!
xoxoxo Anna
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