i just want to get out of here

[michael852]

I do not know where to post this so bare with me.I ve just gotten over a 4 month battle with chronic OCD and the ppl around me are not making it any better,plus I live in a small dead in town,my relationships are circling the crapper and I feel so lost right now. I just feel blah,dead,empty but yet yearning for a  spark of some resemblance to my former self before the OCD came into my life. I have this sudden urge to travel.Hop on a train,a plane,or hell even walk out of here. But can not,gas prices,and its to dangerous to walk around here. Also I m angry for what i see in the mirror.I use to workout a lot and was finally getting the body i wanted but then I depressed about this OCD **** and well ugh I am out of shape. I just want to get out of here

[gazza1971805]

ive been suffering depression for 6 years as long as i can remember ,its never a smooth ride hay i just want the pain to stop

[nursegirl6572]

I assume you're talking about "pressure cooker" as in heat?  I've found people in the South to be charming and lovely.  Much more slow and "relaxed" in their demeanor, niot rushed like some of the people we have here North of the Mason-Dixon line.

Do I think you should be selfish for a little while? I think you should be selfish forever.  We should always make ourselves number one, because if WE don't like ourselves, hiow will other people?  I just think you aren't really taking this OCD diagnosis seriously.  Just my opinion.

[michael852]

i am trying to find some positive people but here its kind of hard,its a pressure cooker here in the south.My relatives in a way make my OCD or the anxiety worse.Do you think I should just be kind of selfish for a little while?

[nursegirl6572]

Well then, I guess you just have to distance yourself from those kind of people.  I'm not sure what else to tell you.  Just keep working on it....and surround yourself with positive people and experiences.

[michael852]

I was going to therapy and that was helping,a lot actually and I ve kinda forgotten about her. Its just no matter what steps I take for my OCD ,my relatives are always up my rear about how its not good enough for them.That my OCD is stressing them out so bad.Hell they even threatened to have in institutionalized ,wtf! I am going to therapy,i am keeping my problems to myself so wheres the justification on there part? I am just under a lot of stress at least I am hitting the gym in the morning

[nursegirl6572]

This is why therapy is so important.  If you haven't started yet, you need to.  If you have, you need to keep up with it and really focus on it.  I think we all feel like this sometimes...where we want to run away, but no matter where we go, or who surrounds us, we still have to be comfortable with ourselves to be happy.  Change has to start with YOU, not your surroundings, or the people you are around.  If you have to make changes in the people who are in your life, then do so, but that's not the source of your issues.

I'll be honest with you here, michael.  You've done a lot of posting about your GF and HER problems, and what you should do to help her, etc...and posts about other things, but you rarely talk about what should be important...YOU and YOUR problems.  In one of your threads about your GF, I made a comment about the OCD and how YOU needed to focus on yourself for a while, and you quickly dismissed that, making a comment about how you were so much better.  As much as we'd like that to be true, it's just NOT the case.  Most people struggle with OCD and anxiety for a lifetime, keeping it manageable with meds, therapy.  Yours might not be that severe but I really think you're kidding yourself if you think this is not something you should be really spending a lot of time focusing on.  I think you need to be honest with yourself a little more than you are being.  You're feeling disgusted because the issues are still unresolved.  They're unresolved because I think you're really hoping they are just going to go away.  I don't think you've taken any of this seriously, and the bad thing about that is, without addressing these concerns, you may end up even worse.  That would stink!

You need to keep working at it to get to a better place.  And, that better "place" doesn't require a bus, train, plane.  You can be happy anywhere, as long as you are more content with yourself.