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i miss happy
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i miss happy

I am 26 with a 5yr old and I'm secretly pregnant. I am a college student with a decent work load. I live with my mom who is very negative, with my 1st pregnancy I lived on my own and when I told her she said 'well, I knew that would happen' and was even was upset about taking me to hospital to deliver because I lived on the other side of town. I plan to move out and live with my boyfriend in Jan, which is the soonest I can do this. I am 9wks pregnant. I have to hide my pregnancy symptoms, nausea, fatigue, cravings, morning sickness and anything else that may give it away. This is very hard, some days I just want to sleep and I've had the worst morning sickness ever all day. I don't want to tell her for fear of her negativity will push me over edge. My boyfriend works hard to provide, I still have to pay my mom rent and provide my own food, I am unemployed. I have a bff that I haven't spoken to in weeks after we use to talk 3-4times a week. After many unanswered text I gave up but, recently she has contacted me and I'm not sure how I feel about talking to her after being ignored for a week. Hiding a pregnancy and having no friends to talk to is very stressful and I'm finding it hard to be happy about this pregnancy. I want to be happy about it but how? I don't know how to get back to happy.
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4250330_tn?1388624779
dont let anyone put you dow about it if god didnt want you to have a baby he wouldnt have gaven you 1 and you being pregnant now only god can judge you noone else just keep that in mind.. if anyone tries to judge you tell them how it is dont listen to them listen to god listen to what he tells you which is in your heart .. it sounds like to me that you dont want to be happy about this because you know they wont be happy about it. so what if there not happy they will have to deal with it because god doesnt want anyone to give up there kids.. and i know mothers can be yano kid ehh. at sometimes but it happens .. i have 2 kids and im very proud of that im not proud of the age i had them at but i am very proud that god blessed me with a beautiful boy and a beautiful baby girl.. dont let anyone judge you girl if god didnt want this he wouldnt have made it happen.. listen to god. (HEART)
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Thank you so much. I think so much energy goes into hiding my pregnancy for fear of negativity that it becomes really hard to happy. I'm going to try to work on it. Just openly expressing my feelings in these forums has really helped as well.
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