i want to end it all

ive been on anti depressants ,antiphschotics and sleeping pills since i was 13 im now 23 ive also been doing serious self harm since then aswell.i can go months feeling fine then my whole world can turn upside down in seconds.i hate the person that iam and dont think i deserve anything gud.in the last 3 weeks ive been admitted to pshyc hospital,tried hanging from a tree,swallowed 4 needles,taken 2 big overdoses of diazepam and 1 of my sleeping tablets ive also been cutting again.i have a social worker and dr but no matter how much they try and help me nothing works.i know this sounds selfish but i really want to die i dont think ill ever get better and cant stand feeling like this. i  find it hard to explain myself to people so its no gud talking to a helpline.please can someone respond coz i cant bare this anymore.

[momof2boys1979]

You have got to know that you are a living, breathing human being that God created for a purpose.

[bosnianworrier]

You should look into religion.

[shel62]

Rach,

I will say a prayer for you so that God will continue to keep you strong. I know it is hard to imagine any reason for your suffering but I agree there is a reason for everything . You have made it this far ...your very strong.... I want you to check out a site called the road back. You can chat with people going through similar situations as well another perspective on medication. I myself have a son that has had his share of problems also. These meds can throw you off balance and sometimes make you very sick. Always remember what ever direction you decide to go always go through a trusted doctor who has your best interest in mind. Once again ...stay strong and my prayers will be with you daily.

Shel

[umya]

you need to speak to a psychotherapist over the long haul.  healing will take time.  it will be painful.  you may not say much for the first year if youre really defensive.  but go.  force yourself to go and talk several days a week with a good psychotherapist if you can.  i dont know what kind of funding they may have in your country for you to do this but i hope it is there.  in the mean time as per your later post, get yourself to the hospital.  i wish you peace.