i take Prozac used to be 10 milligrams now 20. The reason why i am here is because 2 years ago in 5th grade my dad passed away and i tryed to drop out of school kill my self you know the whole 9 yards the funny thing is i have the life every one has i have a girlfriend that loves me too death and i dont know what i would do with out her and my family theres not much of my family my mom stays in the living room and i stay in my room and basicly the only time we communicate is when she makes dinner. I dont know what to do i just feel like i want to drop out of school and just go to sleep for the rest of my life and i told my therpist that and he just boosted the anti depressiants it feels like no one cares no more but my girlfriend shes been with me the intire time because she struggled with depression when her parents put her in a foster home but i dont want to leave her cause i know she would go through pain and i would miss her so much if i did i just want to find away to stop feeling so sad i posted on 3 different places and as i was typing crying and just thinking how sad my life is right now i want it all to just fade away i just dont really know what to do my psychitrist doesnt help hes my second one my theripist doesnt help i feel that if i could go to sleep and just not wake up it would all be fine but i dont want the people who love me to suffer to please help.
i don't know how to help but i whant to. i understant not wanting to wake up but how do you know that death will make you feel better... you don't.
i have tried to kill myself a few times, nearly succeeded last week, just got out of hospital and seriously i have caused so much pain and worry, i just imagine if i died how much pain i would have caused.
your mum cares about you and she probably sits there wondering how you are and how she can get through to you. but i get you, its hard... communication is the hardest thing. i can't communicate to my mum as hard as i've tried. if your really that low then you should think about telling your mum, please know that i don't say that lightly because i know that seems the hardest thing. but it can't get worse, not talking obviously hasn't worked that well for you so maybe you should try a different method!
good luck and your not all alone.!
How about you and your mom get together and talk about some ideas of things you can do together, such as board games, bowling, etc.?
Have you considered joining some kind of youth group, like Boy Scouts or something? If you were my son, I would want to put you into a youth group or gatherings with my Church. The fellowship and love is so important.
A bodily imbalance can certainly color life differently and make it so blue. You should look into Magnesium supplementation for the depression.
You should keep looking for a councellor that will talk out issues with you, but you need to be involved, too. I go to councelling and I pre-write out past issues and whatever new or old that bothers me, and share my thoughts and feelings, and we discuss it. Journalling is a wonderful avenue and it really helps me understand my thoughts and feelings and see new things.
My Catholic faith keeps my away from ever considering suicide, thank God. Even better, it is love of God that I live for, and nothing else truly satisfies me and fills the emptiness. I offer up all my sufferings to Jesus, and it helps me grow in grace and love. It's through the tough times and the good times that we learn and grow, and through it, I grow in my personal relationship with Jesus and in prayer. I don't know where your heart is, but I will pray for you and I hope that you will join in prayer.
My heart goes out to you! After reading what you wrote I can feel the emptiness and loneliness. And it sounds like maybe your mom is feeling the same way. It's never a good idea to put an end to your life. Life is always changing and things will get better with time. Unfortunately, it's hard to believe that when you can't see the sun shining through the rain. Is your mom trying to get help for herself? You both need to talk, whenever you feel the need, about your dad. That's part of getting over the pain and moving onto hopefully the good memories you had as a family. Do you have any brothers or sisters or extended family? And how about friends?
I have three kids. My oldest daughter, up until she was 6, was too scared to go to bed by herself and she would always wake up several times a night, wanting me to stay with her. By this time, I had two more kids, and I was so sleep deprived. I tried everything to get her to sleep by herself. One night, when she was crying and crying, I realized she stopped crying suddenly and went to sleep. The next morning, I asked her why she stopped crying and why she didn't call me into her room a 100000000 times. She said "God let me know that I would be ok." My daughter was always a very factual kid. She wasn't creative or imaginative or an attention seeker. Just very factual and matter of fact. I'll never know why God helped her at that moment, and yet He never says a word to other people who have much bigger problems and are in so much pain and would love to hear from Him or just feel His presence and love. But your dad is with God now and I'm sure if he could he would tell you that God isn't ready for you yet, and to make the most of your life and do good with it. Your dad is always watching over you. And you should always talk to your dad - tell him how your day was and how you wish he were here - whatever you feel like saying. He hears you!!!!!!
Try to have friends over your house - bring the house back to life. Get a comedy movie, buy some snacks and soda and have a friend night now and then. Your dad wants to see you happy again. Do something nice for your mom - give her a rose and a hug! And tell her you need to start living again and talking about things, not keeping everything inside. I hope something I said helps. I don't know all there is to know about your situation, but keep talking. I'll watch for your response.
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