Depression Community
is happiness possible?
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is happiness possible?

ive been patiently waiting, and life is just ******* with me.
i want to be happy so badly.
years now since i can honestly say i smiled.
there's a dark cloud looming over me.
the devil haunts me.
i just want to be happy.
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22 Comments Post a Comment
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446049_tn?1290296512
What are some of the things that make you happy? I like to listen to music and it puts my mind at ease. You really should see a doctor and tell him exactly what you've posted. They hear stories like yours more than you can imagine and can't help you the most.
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm here to talk if you need someone to listen to your problems. I find it helps if you talk through what's ever bothering you.
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Avatar_f_tn
Fill your life with joyful, loving things.  Are you flooded with negativity in music, movies, people in your life, etc.?  It's got to change if you want to change.  Everything effects us, including a poor diet.
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1414095_tn?1295122599
i've been an avid pot smoker, i recently quit.. for month that is.
then took it up again.
its because literally everything in my life, has progressively gotten worse and not one thing has ever gottten better.
people say that this is just a phase in my life. but how long will this phase be?
every single waking moment of my entire life, i feel oppressed and pushed down upon.
as if God was just doing this to not let me be happy, let alone smile.
i just want to be happy , honestly.
i feel as if God's just doing this to punish me for things i havent done.
i can honestly say im a good kid, good morals and would never do anything bad to anyone.
but why does God or whoever's out there continually push me down like im not even there? i want to be loved, but ive lost all of that.
i just recently moved into college, with a predominantly white population.
im asian, with a wild and bright sense of fashion..so i stick out.
my girlfriend recently broke up with me, and cheated on me.
so what does God want to do with me?
like i can keep asking these questions but they won't solve anything.
i don't really have any reason or anything look forward when i wake up, except going back to sleep.
i can honestly say i hate my life, i just want to be happy.
and i dont even see it being possible,
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi.  I think there may be more to this than just being "down."  You need to seek professional help with your feelings.  There is so much help for you and you need to take advantage of it.  If you're in a depression, it doesn't matter how much you change around you.....you'll still be sad.  It's good to do things you are passionate about, get out and have fun, see your friends, but often with depression we have no desire to do this. You're so young with a lot of living to do, and you can, and should have a happy life.  There are reasons for us to feel this way, often we don't even know what they are!  With therapy you can get to the root of the problem, deal with it and move on with your life.  Do this now so you can put this behind you.  We're always here for support, we understand and care.  You needn't feel this way, so please seek help.  I wish you all the best and take care.
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1110049_tn?1409405744
When I joined this site last year I was in a deep pit.  Thought I would never feel wellagain.  I wouldn't either without medication, I know that now.

Many of us have been where you are now, believe me.  We can only help ourselves.  We support each other here, and will help all we can.

I do hope you are reaching out for help.  You cannot go on like this.

Please, please talk this over with a professional.
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1440728_tn?1284068206
I am have a Shame Disorder.  I have been hiding behind it my whole life.  I have not tried to really help myself other then going to my primary doctor and getting on meds.  I had a long talk to my doctor yesterday and we both came to a conclusion that its time i go to therapy.  He gave me a real sense of hope.  He told me that there is hope to be found, but i have to be willing to try and help myself by allowing myself therapy.  So i am going.  I hope those out there realize that they can to have help and be healthy if they just make that first step and go seek help.  Even if its just your primiary doctor.  Sit down with him or her and let them know what you are feeling and from there your doctor will help you find the best course of action that is best for you.  He or she will remind you, YES, there is hope for your happiness and YES you deserve to be happy!  Good luck to you all and please seek help.  God loves you or he wouldn't have taken the time to create you.  He created you cause you deserve life and happiness so take the first step, and everything else will come in time.  
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Avatar_f_tn
Yeah, if it's a physical issue causing the depression, that needs working out.  If there were abuse issues or other life problems, councelling can help.  But a big part for me, and maybe you, includes my relationship with God, and clearly you talk about yours.  If you'd like to talk more about this, there is an area of MedHelp for this at:

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/show/404?personal_page_id=1012978
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1414095_tn?1295122599
but i've gone through this life all alone this far,
i dont think i need anyone else..but my self..
right?
if i dug myself into this depression..can i dig myself out?
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Avatar_f_tn
Human beings are social beings and we humbly and lovingly lean on eachother and support eachother.  :)

When you're in depression, your thinking can be very cloudy and it is hard to think as people that aren't depressed do.  If there is a chemical imbalance, you need to work on that.
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1414095_tn?1295122599
so, everyday has gotten worse for me..
and today its gotten to where i cringe whenever something reminds me of my ex .
i cringe everytime i feel im in pain..
and now i urge to smoke so much more pot than ever.
and im not scared to dive into other drugs..because i know i shouldnt..
i thought i would be happy staying home for the weekend, but now i have to go back to my college.
when im there, im alone.. all alone..
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=546296194

this is me, all to those who'd like to talk to me there too..
im more than ready to talk anyone really.
just so down lately.
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1110049_tn?1409405744
So sorry you are so low at such a young age.  You have your whole life ahead of you.  You must find a medication that helps you climb out of this pit.  Once you have found it, you will at least find some respite from these dark feelings.

Have you no friends at college?  Is there a counsellor there who you can talk to?  

You can certainly talk to us here, because I am so worried about you.  Please try and help yourself, and PLEASE get some professio9nal help.

You can let it all out here, because, like me, we have all been where you are.  It is only medication that keeps me free of that deep dark pit.  Without it I am n oneone and nowhere.
Keep in touch.  


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Avatar_f_tn
Have you considered looking online (better selection) for a **highly absorbable**, high dose, high nutrient, multi-mineral & multi-vitamin, supplement?  Something with many good testimonial reviews for many conditions greatly improved.  It can do WONDERS for your overall wellbeing, including emotions, thinking, energy, etc.
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Avatar_f_tn
I know how you feel exactly you feel that things will never get better and that no one can help you, i use to self medicate anything that could make me numb, i am a mother so i felt really bad that i was sending my kids through this,I too thought that god had punished me for some unknown reason and i hated him. I dont have this great advice like some of the other wonderful people on hear so all i can tell you is that maybe we can help each other maybe if we just listen to one another we will see that were not as alone as we thought. My prayer's go out to you and i hope that you will consider my suggestion
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1414095_tn?1295122599
thank you all for really giving me your ideas and helping me out..
but i dont have any friends here, its a new place..and i'm not really liking it.
its far from home, and i just wanna smoke pot all when i get the chance to, but i stop myself.
compnet, what kind of multi vitamin?
idk im just never ever ever ever feeling happy,
like the days are getting longer, and even when the sun shines, it still isnt bright out.
i have yet to find a reason for me to be happy..
like my suicidal thoughts are coming back.
i thought thinngs were getting better, but no..
no there not..
they've only gotten worse..
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1414095_tn?1295122599
i've never realized how hard it is just to be happy, or even smile.
i don't even remember the last time i smiled.
the only time i smile are when im too intoxicated and lost in a substance.
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1414095_tn?1295122599
i feel like im completely lost, and theres a dark whole within my chest.
and i dont know where to go, or what to do or where im heading
i keep feeling like im dying inside, and im just a zombie walking.
im numb to the emotions people feel. i dont know whats wrong with me anymore, i feel like im going insane
idk ..ijust dont know..i feel crazy, scared
i can keep going with how i feel but i dont know if it'll change anything
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Avatar_f_tn
Have you ever had psychiatric consultation to see if meds were needed?

As for the multivitamin, MedHelp doesn't allow product advertising, so I can't really say.  But I've come across a few that people were saying helped their conditions pretty quickly, and that's a good sign that it's working.  Different ones seem to help different people, so you might try a few at different times.  I'd check a few reputable supplement websites and look over the reviews and the label.
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1414095_tn?1295122599
my dreams and nightmares are starting to get too intense for me..
like i dont know what is reality or dream anymore..
i got to sleep, and my nightmares are usually me , but high.
like the entire dream im high, and having a really bad trip.. or
i start seeing my ex.
or a mixture of both..
and then i wake up each morning with lingering thoughts that just wont stop
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1440728_tn?1284068206
You are in serious trouble.  You need help, and NO you can't do it alone.  You find substances to bring you happiness but in the end they are probably a part of what is making you so misserable.  Its a endless circle.  You must reach out to someone for help. You may have a serious mental illness that can be helped and stablized with the right kind of meds and therapy and that happiness you dream of, the smile you want to see on your face can be yours.  But if all you going to do is sit around boohooing about what you want and DO NOTHING, then nothing is what you will contiune with.  God helps those who helps themselves.  God wants you to be happy or that need and drive that you feel within you to be happy wouldn't be there.  BUT God also needs you to get up off your *** and do something about it, which involves getting help.  You deserve to be happy.  You deserve to smile.  I don't know where along the way in your life you stopped believeing that or someone fed you lies to make you believe that but you do deserve happiness.  So go get it and go to a doctor and tell him or her what is happening to you.  That first step is the hardest.  Your not alone. Many people out there lost or confused about why their sad, but we must find answers by searching for them and reaching out to others.  

Good Luck.  God Loves You, no matter what you think or have done, God still loves you. Thats his gift to you.  And happiness is also a gift he wants to give you, so go get it
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1440728_tn?1284068206
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Peanut, great post!  Amen!
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