Aa
just had a baby very depressed
i had a baby a mth ago.my boyfriend is saying horrible things to me insulting the way i look because im not back to my normal size 0 size a mth after.he wont have sex with me and even told me hes waiting till im back to normal.i am so depressed i cant stop crying and its hard to deal with my baby.my house is a wreck all my plants are dying and i feel like im dying inside.does anyone know if there is something i can take.please dont sayexersise i work out at least an hour a day 6 to7 days.dont feel any better but worse because im trying so hard to get back to the way i was and nothing is working
Aarroyo,
There is a kind of depression that I could suggest this was, but I am not an expert.
I could go on and on about how horrible it was to take care of my baby sister and argue with my big sister about which way the diapers were to sit, when my mother didn't have any power left to fight her depression, but saying that much was maybe enough? I don't wish anyone to go through what my mother went through (depression won over her and she left her 3 kids to all the question marks she'd asked). The three of us got something heavy to carry.
There are options for you too. Even if 70% of all mothers go through "the baby blues", some won't get out of that too easily and it is called postpartum- or postnatal depression.
Do something for your baby now. Is it a boy or a girl?
I am not going to say exercise. It sounds as if you'd need someone to talk to, weekly.
Florena
There is a kind of depression that I could suggest this was, but I am not an expert.
I could go on and on about how horrible it was to take care of my baby sister and argue with my big sister about which way the diapers were to sit, when my mother didn't have any power left to fight her depression, but saying that much was maybe enough? I don't wish anyone to go through what my mother went through (depression won over her and she left her 3 kids to all the question marks she'd asked). The three of us got something heavy to carry.
There are options for you too. Even if 70% of all mothers go through "the baby blues", some won't get out of that too easily and it is called postpartum- or postnatal depression.
Do something for your baby now. Is it a boy or a girl?
I am not going to say exercise. It sounds as if you'd need someone to talk to, weekly.
Florena
Sorry to say but your boyfriend's acting like a jerk. I'd like to see him carry a child for nine months, have your stomach all stretched out, deliver a watermellon (without whining about it :) and be right back into shape after the baby's born and ready for sex!
What planet does he live on? Maybe he needs some education on what the body goes through with pregnancy and childbirth.
He's being terribly insensitive and self-centered and that makes me mad. He should be supporting you and helping around the house and with the baby while you heal from the childbirth and catch up on your sleep. Most doctors say to wait 6 weeks anyway before having sex because you're not fully healed yet. I think it'd be a good idea for him to talk to your doctor but I know he probably won't. Maybe he'd at least read a book on pregnancy and childbirth so that he can see what you had to go through? Well, one can always hope.
You need to explain to him that you're still healing (remind him that most surgeries take 6 weeks to heal too) and that you could really use his help around the house and with the baby.
When you're able and feeling up to it start slowly excercising and stretching again. Try to eat healthy not only for your sake but for the baby's. Are you breastfeeding? A lot of times that will help your uterus to shrink faster.
Like I said, you need to remind him that it took 9 months for your uterus to grow and stretch out to hold and support a 6 to 8 pound baby (I don't know how big your baby was) and that it will probably take months for it to shrink back down to size.
After I had my third child, I suddenly got appendicitis when he was 5 weeks old. I had to have my appendix out. The doctor told me later that it was harder to get to because my uterus was still stretched out from childbirth. So no matter how hard you exercise, it doesn't necessarily shrink the uterus any faster.
I hope this helps. You need to concentrate on you and that precious baby right now. If you do exercise and eat better, do it for yourself, not your boyfriend. Don't feel you have to change yourself for anybody. Shame on him for treating you that way. He needs to take a sensitivity class.
Take care of yourself, Sweetie. Don't be so hard on yourself. You will get your body back to normal in no time. And having that precious baby makes this all worth it! God bless.
What planet does he live on? Maybe he needs some education on what the body goes through with pregnancy and childbirth.
He's being terribly insensitive and self-centered and that makes me mad. He should be supporting you and helping around the house and with the baby while you heal from the childbirth and catch up on your sleep. Most doctors say to wait 6 weeks anyway before having sex because you're not fully healed yet. I think it'd be a good idea for him to talk to your doctor but I know he probably won't. Maybe he'd at least read a book on pregnancy and childbirth so that he can see what you had to go through? Well, one can always hope.
You need to explain to him that you're still healing (remind him that most surgeries take 6 weeks to heal too) and that you could really use his help around the house and with the baby.
When you're able and feeling up to it start slowly excercising and stretching again. Try to eat healthy not only for your sake but for the baby's. Are you breastfeeding? A lot of times that will help your uterus to shrink faster.
Like I said, you need to remind him that it took 9 months for your uterus to grow and stretch out to hold and support a 6 to 8 pound baby (I don't know how big your baby was) and that it will probably take months for it to shrink back down to size.
After I had my third child, I suddenly got appendicitis when he was 5 weeks old. I had to have my appendix out. The doctor told me later that it was harder to get to because my uterus was still stretched out from childbirth. So no matter how hard you exercise, it doesn't necessarily shrink the uterus any faster.
I hope this helps. You need to concentrate on you and that precious baby right now. If you do exercise and eat better, do it for yourself, not your boyfriend. Don't feel you have to change yourself for anybody. Shame on him for treating you that way. He needs to take a sensitivity class.
Take care of yourself, Sweetie. Don't be so hard on yourself. You will get your body back to normal in no time. And having that precious baby makes this all worth it! God bless.
I'm so sorry you're feeling down. It's hard on your body and your life to have a baby, there are so many changes and hormones flexuate wildly for awhile and that is tough. Unless things have changed since I had my last child (and it was some time ago ) they didn't recommend sex for at least six weeks after giving birth anyway. You know it took nine months for your body to produce that little baby and so give yourself a break and realize that it may take some time and continued effort to get back to a smaller size. Some people get back to their previous size quickly but alot of us don't for awhile so that's not something to beat yourself up over, it's just normal.
Babies are a challenge to adjust to and figuring out how to get everything done takes time. Some people seem to have it all together, perfect baby, perfect figure, perfect life (don't you just hate them) but I have no idea how they do it, it's not that easy for many of us.
If you can get into counseling or have someone supportive you can talk to it will be a good start. I know that recommending exercise, really healthy foods and (this is a big one) SLEEP seems like useless advice but it will help and at least won't hurt you.
Your doctor is the one that will help you decide if medication is right for you at this point, make sure you talk to him/her. If it's any help to you, you sound alot like me after I gave birth except my husband managed to keep his mouth shut if he was thinking negative things. (Probably because he knew I'd have gone into a sobbing blob with anger issues.) Guys just don't get it.
Babies are a challenge to adjust to and figuring out how to get everything done takes time. Some people seem to have it all together, perfect baby, perfect figure, perfect life (don't you just hate them) but I have no idea how they do it, it's not that easy for many of us.
If you can get into counseling or have someone supportive you can talk to it will be a good start. I know that recommending exercise, really healthy foods and (this is a big one) SLEEP seems like useless advice but it will help and at least won't hurt you.
Your doctor is the one that will help you decide if medication is right for you at this point, make sure you talk to him/her. If it's any help to you, you sound alot like me after I gave birth except my husband managed to keep his mouth shut if he was thinking negative things. (Probably because he knew I'd have gone into a sobbing blob with anger issues.) Guys just don't get it.
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