legally?

If you want to die why can't you legally?  I feel really tired and very unfulfilled.  I do not think things will get better here.
And I contribute nothing.  Everything is painful.  So why can't I decide when I am done?  People say it is selfish to commit suicide.  I think it's self to make someone keep on living a painful life.  Who can win this argument?
Thanks

[brice1967]

I hope you're not contemplating suicide.  If so, please seek some help.

To answer your questions, if one commits suicide that person avoids any of the legal matters involved because they are dead.  On the other hand, all of that persons problems and legal matters get lumped on to survivors or anyone else left in the wake of the suicide.

So, on to this.  You say you "feel really tired and unfulfilled".  I understand that.  I suffered with a major depression disorder for 3/4 of my life.  It's a pain in the butt.  I feel for you.... I really do.  But my question for you is, what are you doing about the problem?  What are you doing about feeling tired and unfulfilled?  Are you seeing a doctor?  IF not, you should.  You should seriously think of a plan of attack to beat this depression you are going through.  A doctor will know the right avenues for you to follow.

Maybe you don't realize this, but you more or less just made the very first step to finding yourself some help.  You've acknowledged that there is a problem and you've asked for help.... the next step is up to you.  Making an appointment with a doctor and doing all of the follow through.

It's not easy.  Nothing is.  Please seek the help of some professionals regarding this matter.  Your life has value, you just need to recognize that.

[thatquietgirl]

It's selfish because you give your remaining family members, friends, and other loved ones a pain that won't ever go away.  Depression can be beat.  You can learn coping techniques and such to make your quality of life much better and even live long periods without the depression cropping up.  You're giving up if you commit suicide and saying you don't care about anyone but yourself and that your pain is more important than their pain.  You're saying you don't care if they suffer.  Anyone who says suicide is selfish is not being selfish because of the fact depression is a brain chemical imbalance that can be treated and a person can live a happy life with treatment.

[4Maddie44]

I have in the past taken an overdose, and saw what it did to family members.  I am so glad I survived.  That was a long time ago, and yes depression is a struggle, but it is a struggle worth taking.

Life won't always be so black for you.  Go to a doctor, get some help.  It is up to you.  Please don't wallow in self pity.  Yes depression is painful, but you can live with it, especially if you get the help you need.  It is out there, but you have to find it.

[helplogan]

What I wanted to add was I was 14 years old when I first tried to take my my own life and there are a few more in my life. I have thankfully only had a handful of times that I have seriously questioned my very existence to the degree that  getting my doctors  immediate input was vital to my mental health and well being.. On one occasion i thought  not only would my decision improve my kids lives though I knew they'd initially be upset, they could move on to a better life quite quickly. I was very unwell and not rational at the time though it made perfect sense to me.  I would like to say " You are rarely rational and your judgment is clouded when caught in the grips of a mental illness. No matter how much your reasoning seems rational. Stay safex

[brice1967]

I'm not sure what you are trying to impress upon me.  I fell for you, I really do.  Having mental illness myself, I understand where you've been at times and I too thought me "being gone" would allow my family to move along rather quickly.  

Instead, I decided to fight.  I decided to do what I can to lead a normal life.  I wouldn't call the life I lead as "normal" but I am functioning on a far higher level and clarity than I ever have been.  (I'm 45 and have been ill since childhood.)  

Back to "being gone".  Me taking my own life would have not served as a way out for my family.  There are too many things I would have left behind in the wake of me dying that would have allowed my family to move along quickly.  Debt is the least of my concerns, but it is a very realistic thing that I look back on now.  It is not fair for my wife and kids to have to pay off a debt that I help accrue.  Besides the debt, all of the unanswered questions.... you can't leave you family with that to bear.  At least I couldn't.

I fully know that one is not rational when in the grips of mental illness.  That is why you get help and you do what you can to stay on top of the illness.  That is why you rely upon your support group as they rely on you to do your part.

Suicide is only a way out for the affected.  I've seen suicide first hand quite a few times.  Those families affected are never the same, in the wake of a suicide.  Never....  I've chosen to let my life be as positive as possible and to affect those around me as positively as possible.  I spent 30 years at a minimum being the most negative, ill thought individual I've ever know.  I was dragging everyone around me.  

It wasn't until I started actively getting help did all of that change for me.  I made improvements... small at first, then larger ones... and while achieving those improvements with my health, I positively affected those around me.

When I do leave this life, my kids will have had the experience of seeing a truly sick man stand up and take control.  They've seen their father as not much more than a figure to actively participating in their lives.  They've seen the changes I made and that will give them hope for themselves or their loved ones down the line.  

I wish I never would have been affected by mental illness.  It's there with me every day.  It doesn't go away, but I've learned to deal with MY illness and I've learned to cope.  I've learned skills that are invaluable, and having not been ill and having not received help, I never would have gained those skills.

Not everyone's illness is the same.  I am thankful that I had/have something that was/is far more treatable than other people.  Perhaps that is selfish.  But in my eyes, nothing is more selfish than suicide.  Leaving those behind in the wake of a suicide to find their way through life now is the ultimate act of selfishness.

I've been there.  I've looked down the barrel of death and I didn't like what I saw.  What I didn't like more than that was the thought of leaving on my terms with no consideration of my family and friends.... to me, that is pitiful.

I wish you well.

[4Maddie44]

Is your life so much worse than other people's with depression?  Have you lost all your fight.  I know how difficult it is to fight this illness, but most people here are fighting it every day.  

Tell us how we can help.