letter tht never should of been read!!

i am 15 wweks pregnant, and have been feeling dwn and a bit depressed, suffered frm depression before i was pregnant for some time, so i decided to write a letter about my life all the bad things tht have happend as i thought maybe this would help then after i wulkd burn the letter means to an end kinda thing. i wrote about my abusive childhood and all the bad things i hid it in my draw at the bottom as i thought my bf wuldnt look there as he never has before, i came hm 1 day and saw a letter frm him sayin sorry i needed to go out for walk and clear my head, didny think anything of it, anyway few days later he said u pinched sm of my paper laughing, i said how do u know, he said i read the letter i was shocked i didnt say anything too much as didnt knw wht to say so left it, and got emontional 1 eve bout it, he said im here if u want to talk but i didnt want to. should i talk to him else other wise it will always be in his head and mine? wht shuld i do? thanx.

[mammo]

Hi.  It is very therapeutic to put your feelings and emotions down on paper, so you did the right thing.  Your boyfriend is letting you know that he's there for you, and I think you should discuss it with him.  It won't change his feelings for you, maybe understand you better.  It is all of this causing your depression so you truly need to get help with a therapist and maybe medication after the baby is born. But this is something that needs to be discussed between you and a psychiatrist.  It's things like this from our past that we've tried to forget that come back in the form of depression and/or anxiety, and force us to deal with them.  Once we do, we can put all of it behind us and no longer be a victim.  You're fortunate to have such a caring boyfriend, and just talking to him can help you a lot.  You did nothing wrong, so there is nothing to be ashamed of.  I truly think your boyfriend wants to be there for you, and wants you to share what you endured in your childhood.  But you have to feel comfortable doing this with him.  You need to talk about it, and who better than him?  I wish you all the best and take care!

[blondie337]

thanku for ur comment, just feel silly that he has read it, but i will talk with him in time he is lovly and very under standing its just hard talking about the past. and thankyou!

[mammo]

I know it's hard, but talking about it and working thru it is the only way for you to be able to let it go.  The more you talk about it, the easier it will get.  He appreciates the diffuclty of this for you and this is why he said "I'm here if you want to talk."  He realizes the severity of this and that it isn't easy for you and is allowing you to move at your own pace, a wonderful person!  Take care.