losing control

[cocoleli]

I dont know what to do. I try so hard to protect my family but it always get out of my control. I share an apartment with my mother , my sis, and my son.  My sister came home real late and my mother got mad at her. But my mother is at work when all of this occurred. My sister hangs around a crowd that doesnt seem to want to do anything with their life. So my mother gave her an option to leave and she left it is 2 something in the morning. And she has no job or anything she goes to school but thats it. Now my thing is I tried to stop her from leaving but she wanted to go and my mother said she can stay but she needs to change her way. but she my sister didnt listen. Now i am hitting one of my moods and having all sorts of thoughts i am crying my migraine starting. it seems like i losing control the meds isn t working and i am trying not to drink(i dont have any access to alcohol anyway right now. its like i fail yet again i try to hard to keep it together but its all slipping my fingers. sorry if i am writing to much. I cant go to sleep because i have my son and no one will be here with us. I think she is with her friends, should i go look for her. my mind is racing and no one understands how i feel and i have no one to talk to. everytime i get a taste of something good trying to come my way it never happens.