I'm sorry if I'm a bother don't want you all mad at me too. sorry I don't have anyone to talk too for myself. he doesn't know that I have this for me or he would blow up at me and not let me on the computer anymore. and i need someone to talk too. you all have been great talking to me makes me feel like i'm wanted and you do care about me even though I really don't kow youl I live in ky.I'm cut off from almost everything in my life expect what he approves of and that isn't this. he hates the computer but I need it its my life line to just stay alive these days
My feelings are getting worse then better the pdoc told me. Why can;t I get over my past issues and the issues that are going on in my life now. i have started to take the meds again but my teenager hates me take them due to me getting so drugged out and mostlly can;t seem to wake up for her to be with me. but I know that I really need them right now becasue the bipolar part of me is getting out of control then I don't know what to do because hubby won't let me go to the hospital then. he has my power of attorney and has had it for years and told me he don't have to let the doctors take care of me no matter what happens to me. so sometimes I just want to let me die in my mind these days because I don't matter to him I think or if I did he would allow me to get help that I need when i get totally out of control and not just deal with me
It sounds like the doctor's office is a safe place for you. I find that sometimes when people show more empathy I am more likely to break down in front of them. I don't think that you should necessarily try and stop your feelings. Maybe following some of his treatment guidelines would be helpful. Psychotherapy can be helpful for depression.
It's good that you let your feelings go like that, you need this release. It just shows you how much you have pent up inside. Keeping all this bottled up is worsening your depression, so cry if you can and talk to someone about it all, even if you just talk to us, but talk. Your doctor doesn't mind that you let your feelings flow around him, so don't put the added pressure on yourself to try and control it. I think inside you know he understands and you feel comfortable letting your emotions out. So, don't try to stop them, you need to get this all out. Best wishes and take care.