Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

need help

my niece wants me to get on abilify to enhance my effexors does anyone know anything about this drug.  I know my niece is on it or has been on it.  I don't know what to do.  I am going to stick around and bug you guys somemore. besides it would be too lonesome without  you all.  mandy876
Best Answer
Avatar universal
i am on effexor 225mg. and have been for years, my doctor added ability and once it got into my system i was worse, so i started with half a pill, it was a little better but my crying was increased from when i just took Effexor, so i took it half for a couple of months and no improvement, so i dropped it all together.
118 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
707563 tn?1626361905



**********************  CLOSED THREAD  **************************
                     NO MORE POSTS, PLEASE

Thanks,

Emily
Helpful - 0
707563 tn?1626361905
Hi everyone -

At this point, we are closing this thread. Mandy, we urge you to call your doctor, or go to the emergency room, as you are again talking about suicide, and are ill with an infection.

It seems as if many people care about you, and want the best for you, but we feel the best is for at this time if you seek some professional help, whether that be psychological or physical, or even better, both.

Please let us know how you are doing after you get some care.

Emily

Helpful - 0
4851940 tn?1515694593
Mandy, how could you say all those things?

I know that you hurt and you feel really low, you also have a bacterial or viral infection that is causing your ear problems.

We all have problems.  You are not the only one with problems.  We have problems and we try to live our lives the best we can.  Nothing is perfect.

Life is not all about living in a perfect magical land.  There ups and downs and we ALL go or will go through it to some degree or another.  

If I lived nearby, I would come and visit you from time to time, despite my own physical and mental problems.  I cannot cope at home and do what I can.  I am in pain all over, I suffer from tinnitus and have done for years. I was sacked from my job at the age of 40 due to ill health because I could not use my hands at all.  I have been through quite a traumatic time myself, more than you will ever know.  Yes, I have had thoughts of suicide, but that is the easy option.

Life is not easy.  You should feel lucky with what you have and do not live in places where there is no food or the only water to drink is full of pollution and parasites.

If you do not wish and cannot or feel too ill to go out, that is fine.  It is your decision at the end of the day what you do with your life.  But I know by my own experience that going outside for a short walk in the fresh air helps. And having a chat with someone helps me and them too.  

I saw a thin person 2 years younger than myself at the chemist shop yesterday.  She was very distraught and shaking - I didn't know what the matter was, but I went up to her and placed my hand on her shoulder blade and offered her a cup of water.  I didn't ask what the matter was, but she opened up to me.  She had a knee replacement recently, then they found blood clots and just before coming to the chemist to pick up her prescription, she was at the doctors who told her that she has lung cancer and will be starting chemotherapy soon.

It is no good talking to cats and expecting them to react like a human being.  Animals need time to trust you.  They will only come back because of the food, not because they love you.

It is no good blaming God.  God gave us all a free will.  You can pray to God to give you the strength to get through your low times.  When you start to feel well and have got over your ear infection, you will see things in a different light.

Just have a little think to yourself about what would your parents and your husband would have said to you if they knew that you were contemplating to end your life!  I am sure they would not be very happy at all.

Do you really want to upset your parents and your husband by taking your own life?

I know that at this moment in time you feel very rock bottom.  I am not here to judge you Mandy.

I would like you to close your eyes and imagine that I am giving you a very big and tender hug.

Your friend Jemma x



Helpful - 0
1110049 tn?1409402144
You have hurt us too.  You put at the top "need help."  What do you think we have been trying to do.  Look at all the kind notes here people have sent you.  Kind and caring people.  We have not hurt you, you have hurt yourself.  OK so push all your friends away, and what are you left with?

Oh we cared a lot, and yes we did understand.  What type of help are you asking for?  Do you know yourself?  We did not start on you at all.  We would never do that.  Oh you really don't understand do you, that we want you to have a good life.  Ok if you don't want to go out, that is your concern.  No car, dizzy, no taxis, no buses, no nothing where you live.  No we understand, it is not possible without a car.  

No one ever meant to hurt you,  but you have definitely hurt me with your harsh words.  We understand.  Don't keep saying we don't.

Well I am through with trying my best to be nice, and getting it thrown back in my face.  I never would hurt anyone.  I know how depression takes away all the joy in life.  I am sorry you live in a place where there is nothing.  Seems you will just have to go on as you are.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I had the worst day I have had in a long time.  everyone tells me tgo meet people.  that is th last thing I want to do especially the way I feel right now.  I do not have a way....... you all hirt me.  I thought yoy cared you don't understand I keep telling you I do not have a way to go shopping.  how else can I put it.  I love you all you hurt me and I was sitting here thinking about taking pil;ls and ending it.  I was crying and you all started inon me.  it hurt me so bad.  I am sorry but you don't understand.  I know what you mean but it is not possible.  what can I do.  do not want to live.  mandy876
Helpful - 0
1110049 tn?1409402144
No we are far from perfect.  We care and want to help.  That is very sarcastic saying you won't give us the pleasure.  All this time we have been so understanding, and you throw it back in our faces.  yes we do want to understand.  Our lives are no different to yours.  We all have depression.  We don't want you to live our lives, we want you to live yours.  God did not take your life away.  

Depression is the fault here.  We try so hard to understand.  No way do we want to hurt you.  Don't say we are all perfect.  You know that is not true.  Why are you being so nasty to us, people who have tried so hard to be your friends.  What do you mean you hope no one treats us like this.  Like what.

Oh Mandy we are your friends, we have been  nothing but kind and understanding.  Do not hurt us like this.  Don't say nasty things to us.  We hurt too.  You have really upset me with these remarks.  I who have tried so hard to be a good friend.  What have I done to you?  

Yes you are having a hard day, but don't take it out on us.  I cannot believe you can turn on us like that.  Have we not been good and true friends to you?

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
guess I cant be helped you all picked the perfect day to pull this,  I was sitting here looking at my stupid pills.  but I want give you the pleasure.  I don't wanr to go to the library.  I am angry at god for taking my life away.  no one wants to under stand.  so why bother.  you are all so perfect.  I hope no one treats you like this.  mandy876
Helpful - 0
4851940 tn?1515694593
Mandy, if you are feeling so dizzy and you did complain of your ear hurting you the other day, I would suggest you go and see the doctor to examine your ears and throat.

Although you are on the Effexor, that will not make your ears hurt and although the Effexor makes you feel drowsy in the day time, you should not be experiencing these dizzy spells so much.

Inner ear infections and other infections like throat and urinary, can make you feel dizzy, as well as having anaemia and too high or too low blood pressure.

Because you complained about your ears a couple of days ago, you may have an inner ear infection that will need treating.

So it would be worth getting your doctor to examine your ear, blood pressure, blood test to check your iron and B12 levels and have your blood pressure checked.

In the meantime, keep drinking plenty of fluids, take things easy and talk positively to yourself.

I will not have access to a computer for a week, so I wish you well and hope you get over your dizziness and ear problem soon.

Best wishes.
Helpful - 0
1110049 tn?1409402144
For many months your friends here have been trying to help you.  We have made many suggestions about how not to isolate yourself.  You always make excuses.  Do you really want to get out and have fun as you saiud?  If so, do it.

Yes we all have depression.  Yes at times we feel dizzy, we feel p;oorly.  Even when I was really really bad I volunteered, I went out and tried to help others.  I helped out my daughter with her children.  I hid my depression behind a mask.  

What else can we suggest?  You have isolated yourself, you complain about your niece, but after all these months nothing has changed.  if you can't help yourself, no one else can.  A few messages above you said you want to go shopping, you want to have fun.  Yes you want to be happy.  Don't let depression isolate you.

What more can we do for you?  Yes we are here and listen.  It is frustrating telling you things that might help, only for you to dismiss them.  Look how much Sara, Jemma, Nursegirl and I have tried to help you.  So many times we have so kindly tried to get you out of your negative thinking.  I know that is due to the depression, but please do try and do something with your life.  No good complaining all the time.  Only you can  help yourself.

Sorry for the sermon, I don't mean to hurt you, I just want you to understand how we all feel.  We are your friends, so we want so much to help, and see you contented with your life.  Tell us some good things that are happening to you now.  Don't dwell on the past.  It is gone for ever.  Yes cherish happy memories, but move forward with your liufe.

Come on, you can do it.

I am your friend, and I am sorry if I sound harsh, it's just that I care so much.

Your friend Maddie
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Mandy, Sorry, this is the first time I learned about your difficulty getting rides. It's hard to believe that a church would need to get you 2 hours before the service and return you 2-3 hours after it.  Are you sure?  

What about taking a taxi to the church?  Just trying to think of ways to help you.  Your isolation is so terrible.

My love to you as always, Sara
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
they only do that for medical reasons. and you have to give them a 2 week notice. she is very involved with her grandchildren.  that is why they moved.  she does everything for her daughter. it is hard to catch her at home.  they are at her daughters or at a doctors appointment. I belong to a church they pick you up about 2 hours before the service and come home 2 to 3 hours after.  you must be younger.  when you get my age you don't feel like running all over town.  I am not paying her insurance any more.  as stated on a precious note.  look this is getting where you expect me to be you not me.  so I guess I will close for now and maybe take a break.  sems like I am irritating you.  mandy876
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Call up your friend who cannot drive.  That is some helpful contact for you.  She is your best friend.  I have a lot of contact by phone with a best friend of mine who lives more than 1000 miles away.  If your friend is long distance, you can get a plan that allows unlimited long distance for not much money.  That is a very good way to spend your money instead of paying for car insurance for your niece's lazy daughter.  

Why haven't you called the city to find out about senior rides?  Most areas do have them.  They pick you up at your place and take you back home again.  

Look in the yellow pages, even on-line, for a senior center in your area. Then call them about rides.  You could go to one of their events. Or you could go to church.  Either place you can just sit.  I know that you don't feel good, but you still need to get out. If you're dizzy, be sure to use a walker and have the driver escort you into the building.  

You need to go out for your mental health which is a good part of why you physically don't feel good.  Believe me when I tell you this.  I used to feel like I had the flu when I was in severe depression.  But I still got out.

I pray that you will stay on the Effexor which should help you get a new lease on life.  I do wish you the best.
Your friend,
Sara
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I have no car.  I cant drive I am dizzy and  don't feel good.  I know you all want me to go some where.  but no way to get there.  no bus service, my friends moved away and or have died.  I have my best friend she had to give up driving she kept running over the curbs and going down the wrong side of the road.  her husband is in bad health his neck artery is blocked they are supposed to see a heart specialist  to perform an operation and unblock the artery.  my family never call or care they  have problems of their  own.  face it.  I am here and I got my TV my computer with a bunch of games, and my variety crossword puzzle books.  I guess that is all.  I hope I have you all as my friends.  mandy876
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Mandy,  Really--you cannot judge caring from cats, who have minds of their own.  If you show other people caring, you will get it back.  It's a 2-way street.  That's how it works. And that needs to be contact with more than just your niece who has major mental health problems.  But you need to get out to find others who you can care for, and who will care for you. Everyone has been telling you to get out many, many times. I'm sincerely hoping that once the Effexor kicks in, you will have the confidence and renewed happiness to do that.  You take care. Sara
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
that was my x neighbor that moved across town.  I got to call and see how they are doing.  I don't know while ago when she got ready to go to bed at 8pm I said I cant take any more I am so tired.  I am going literally crazy.  I feel like my mind is going to blow up.  I went out back after she went to sleep and yelled for oreo the cat.  he did not come but three other cats came.  I said ok I fed them in2 bowls they don't get along with big yellow.  I try to make friend with him but he want come to me.  I fed him can food the last too night each time he does not run so far away.  then mr twig came he is my next door neighbors cat.  I said hey you are going in the house with me.  he looked at me I opened the door and he came right in went in and told my niece hi.  and another cat had showed up and was eating his food.  so I fed him some inside and big yellow had ate his so I gave him some more.  twig and I sat I the living room for a while and talked.  he did not say much but he listened.  didn't think I was going to get him back outside.  I just fell apart.  I have no one that cares about ME.  is that so selfish.  I am lonesome I need a hug.  I miss my mom so much,  mandy876
Helpful - 0
4851940 tn?1515694593
Mandy, Maddie has written you some good words of wisdom.  And it is all about positive thinking.

If you feel down and talk negatively to yourself, you will feel down and all your physical problems will be much worse too.

At the moment you have a virus and we all get them from time to time.  

As your niece is in a down mood at the moment and talks about being "bored", tell her that to stop her boredom she is the only one that can stop that feeling and to engross herself in some hobby or go out for a walk in the fresh air.  It is surprising how going outside into the fresh helps to lift the spirits and clean away the cobwebs.

I agree also with Maddie that you must not let your niece get you feeling down.  I you have a friend, phone them up, or go and visit your neighbour and see how her husband it getting on.   Take a bunch of flowers or some chocolates or a packet of biscuits with you.  You will be surprised how that can make you feel good.

If you can't get yourself to doing that, then buy yourself a bunch of flowers to place in a vase in your home to cheer yourself up with the vibrant colours and floral smells.

Best wishes.
Helpful - 0
1110049 tn?1409402144
It is a shame your niece is pulling you down with her.  Try not to let her "get" to you too much.  It is her illness talking.  

Keep away from her as much as you can whilst she is in that mood.  Try to do things that you enjoy.  Can you get out by yourself?  It would be good if you could have some "me" time, where you only have to worry about yourself.  I think if you were alone you would manage better.  Poor Tammy, her illness is very bad.  

You take care now friend.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thank you you always give me something good to think.  I enjoy getting to know you.  you are a wonderful caring person.  I don't know about the Effexor yet.  we have had some problems.  my niece is not wanting to live again and want go any where and sits and says I am bored about 50 times a day.  but she does not want to go anywhere.  thank you so much.  mandy876
Helpful - 0
1110049 tn?1409402144
Mandy we all get old, and yes it can be hard.  But that is life.  We have to cope with it.  If we look after ourselves, there is no reason why we should not live happily into old age.

yes we have depression, and that does not help, but look at the things you have, not the things you don't have.  Good health is the most important thing as we grow older.  We have to look after our own bodies.  It is up to us how we treat them.  We only get one.

There are times when we think we cannot go on.  I know this only too well.  Many times I truly believed I'd had enough.  But strength came from somewhere.  Now I take supplements to help my body.  I don't believe everything goes wrong for you, you just think that because you are "low."

Life can stink at times yes, but try and help yourself, and eat properly.  Do things you enjoy.  Don't look on old age as a death sentence.  Many older people live active healthy lives.  Of course parts of us wear out, and we slow down.  It is inevitable.  We can't go back, only forward.  Depression takes away so much from us.  It stops enjoying life.  So you must tell that depression you have had enough of it spoiling your life, kick it, hit it, and tell it you want nothing to do with it.  Find that inner strength.

Everyone has problems.  We just have to deal with them as best we can.  You are not alone.  Try and think a bit more positively.  You were given this life, and it is up to you to look after that dear body of yours.

How is thge Effexor doing?  Are you feeling it is helping now you are taking a higher dose?

Remember we all care about each other.  I too am getting old, and yes, bits of me are failing, but I am managing.  You too must try and embrace life as best you can, it is the only one you get.

Take care.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I was talking about the steam from the water to help my ears and head.  and that would all I would need was for me to get burned from that. believe me if there is a way I would do it.  everything goes wrong for me.  my luck *****.  I want to be well happy and go shopping and just have fun.  why do we have to get old and sick.  life stinks.  but I love you mandy876
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
It was probably in the stuff that you wrote that got erased, but I don't know what you mean about getting burned.  Best to you, Sara
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
that is all I would need is to get burned.  I have enough proems as it is.  I wrote you some more stuff but it got allerased and I didn't feel like writing it again.  I will tell you later.  many876
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am so very glad.  Responding to you helps me too.  I think that the increased dose of Effexor will help you.  Just increasing my Effexor one time in the past when I was severely depressed, helped me tremendously.  You're a sweetie too.
Your friend, Sara  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
thank you sweetie.  you talking to me helps me so much. you will never know how much it helps.  your friend mandy876
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Depression Community

Top Mood Disorders Answerers
Avatar universal
Arlington, VA
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
15 signs that it’s more than just the blues
Discover the common symptoms of and treatment options for depression.
We've got five strategies to foster happiness in your everyday life.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.