need someone to listen

[cooperkgal]

I have been very sad lately. the only thing that really makes me smile anymore are my two kids. I feel like my husband doesnt want me anymore and that everyone is just tired of me. i was wondering is this a sign of depression and if anyone knows who i can talk to about stuff that is going on bcuz i cant afford to go to a therapist.

[Craigers]

In regards to my last post.  As I was saying we try to work things out.  I hope for the both of you can find some way to work what ever needs some work on and continue your relationship woth each other.  Good luck to the both of you.

[Craigers]

That is good thinking about waiting to see what happens between you. Who know if when you have the baby and then decides to leave you and then u end up woth nothing and having to raise the kid yourself. Try to get some couples counceling if he agrees to it.  It would be wise to find out what issues he may be having.  A love for one another should be unconditional.  If there in fact issue he is dealing with, then maybe consider talking them out with your partner. I am married myself and have been for 4yrs.  Our relationship has been like an elevator, but we try to work

[cooperkgal]

no he has never cheated on me. i have thought he was cuz a lot of the stuff he has been doing lately and the way he has treated me but i can not say for sure. he has only started acting this bad in the last 6 mo. we have been married for 3 yrs. the first 2 1/2 yrs. were fine but here lately is when it all started. he thinks we should have another baby but i am not ready and i want to wait and find out what happens between us. plus i would just like to wait awhile.  

[Craigers]

Just form reading some of yur post, that maybe you need to rethink about the situation between you and ur kids and husband.  Is he wiling to go to therapy with you.  The things he is saying you are very hurtful and can put someone into depression by saying things like that. He is jusdgemental and and self centered.  Being together is caring for each other and listening to what you have to say. It is not a one way street.  Is he even helping raising the kids or supporting them?  Maybe he has some self Esteem issues that make act like this.  Or there maybe some issue he has that maybe need to come out and discuss them. I am married my self and have 2 kids one is 22 and the other is 25 with some mental disabilities.  It is a lot of wrk raising kids.  I am sorry he is treating you this way.  The only person who can take care of you is you. You can't do everything yourself.  How can u take care of everybody if you can't take care of you. Who is going to take care of you if you end up being sick. Tell him how you feel. Don't hide anything. Be honest with him.  Use "I" statements, such "I feel .... when you say I am lazy, fat, or what ever it may be." If you use the word "you" when you're talking to your significant other, it only heats up the fire.  Try not to get yourself upset when speaking to him.  But do be firm with him, such as "I am going to go take walk for a while, until things are a little calmer. You don't have to be specific on where you are going. Justa five minute walk until he cools down.  I do have one question, has he ever cheated on you?  There is some signs it sounds like, but you can't point a finger until you know for sure.  I have learned all of this form my therapist and just passing it on to you.

Craigers

[anna125]

My suggestion to you is to try to talk to your husband about some of these things and find out why he is saying some of those things to you. Was he always like that? If not, there is probably some reason for it. Maybe it is the responsiblity of having two yourng children. Regarding the finances, it might be a good idea for the two of you to sit down and work out a budget. Let him control the budget because he is the man, but you should have imput also. The point is to nip some of these things in the bud. Try watching Dr. Phil. He has some good advice from time to time on different subjects.

My best suggestion is to try to bring some romance back into the relationship and ease the stress. A lot of couples have date nights where they go out without the children. That would be a good idea. How long have you been married?

[cooperkgal]

he just acts like he doesnt want me anymore and he has been really mean to me lately. he has told me im fat and that im lazy. i have had 2 kids in about 2 years. they r 21mo. and 8mo. so i know i have gained a little weight but im tryin to lose it by exercising but when i do that he makes fun of me and then complains that im not home til later in the evening. i only work out for 2 hrs. on monday and wednesday. he complains when he has to go anywhere w/ me and says i spend to much money. by the way i only spend money on stuff i need, stuff he wants or stuff for my kids. i havent spent anything on me in a long time. anytime i say i want something or he has to buy me something he complains and says i need to get a job. i cant afford a babysitter cuz we dont have the money, so it is hard to get a job. the only thing that i even smile about anymore r my kids. they r the only thing i feel i have and he keeps sayin he will take them away from me if we  get a divorce. i dont know what i would do without my kids. they r my life and my everything. thats the only happiness i have anymore. if they were not around i would probably just sit around and cry all the time. i feel like i am gettin more depressed the more my marriage goes on but i dont want to end it for fear i will lose my kids. i know that he couldnt take care of them properly if he did get custody. he gets upset when they wake up in the middle of the night and he wont change diapers. i am left to do everything(which is fine, but every once in awhile i would like a little help w/o him complaining). i have to take care of the kids, clean the house, and cook all the meals and if something does not get done then he will complain and say im lazy. i have not been able to do anything with anyone w/o him goin bcuz he says im lookin for guys. i have been married for 3 yrs and have not even thought about finding someone else. i would just like to be able to go out with my best friend and hang out and do stuff we like to do. i have known her since we were in 1st grade. im sorry this is so long but i have never talked about this with anyone and when i get started i might as well say it all. i can talk to my friend but i dont want to bother her considering she has her own problems. she just had 2 miscarriages in the last year and she is kinda depressed about that. i do not want to trouble her anymore with what i am going through. i just need someone to talk to. i can only hold it in so long. its been bothering me so much im cryin a lot lately and im just sad all the time. i want to be happy for my kids not cryin all the time. i do not want them to grow up in an unhappy home. do u think i am depressed or just going through something unhappy in my life?

[Hensley258]

You are among friends here. Most of us are fellow sufferers of depression. Some mild and some severe cases, but always open to listen.

Why do you feel that your husband doesn't want you anymore? Is it his direct actions or event that happened or are you just growing apart?