not hormones

i spent the whole of january feeling empty. i couldn't smile, laugh or enjoy any of the things i used to. febuary came and i thought it was over since i had gone back to my old routine of restricting what i eat etc,

but i keep getting episodes if you like of the same feeling. it happens when i start thinking, when i don't compleately distract myself. i dread going to sleep because thats when the demons come out, tell me i'm pathetic and worthless for feeling this way, just get over it, stop wallowing. keeping me awake for hours and waking me up at 5 in the morning.

now when i try to express how i feel to family or even just typing or writing it down i feel that way. stupid and bratty.
i can't say anything really set this off, it's not hormones, hormones don't last for months and weeks on end.

please help and excuse my sh*te spelling.

[ILADVOCATE]

No one would say it was hormones and if a doctor had that concern they could make a referral for you to a psychiatrist to see what else is going on. That could easily be depression but only a psychiatrist can make a diagnosis. Depression can affect your ability to enjoy life and does often get worse at night. Seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication along with talk therapy would definitely be of help.