realizing you are alone, how to deal.

hello board,

i feel i have been on and off depressed for years.  tried prozac, zoloft and the like, nothing seemed to gel for me, so been fighting it on my own.  my main question now is, i have been through alot of traumatic events in the past 3 years, most recently dealing with physical pain and my family whom is alive and living only 20min. away shuns me, they show no desire to help me or visit.  i don't have any close friends.  been bed ridden here for the past week, just had my wisdoms out and i have very bad tendinitis of my left foot leaving me pretty much immobile.  i was sitting here on my computer which is basically my savior, window to the world and was looking for tips on how to deal with that feeling of being alone.  i'm extra vulnerable when i'm in pain, sometimes i'm scared that i won't be able to get the help i need with no one around.  i reach out to my parents they don't care or hang up on me.  i'm 30, not married, no kids, no real close friends.

how does one start over, or keep themselves from slipping down the hole as i like to call it.  i've been pretty strong making it through some crazy events, just not sure what my next step should be.  i have no healthcare and i would love to get some medical assistance.  not only for physical problems but just to have someone to speak to so i can feel confident and loved again.  

sorry to turn into a sob story, i'm just very alone and honestly these boards really help me stay connected.  thanks.

[CallunaRose]

There may be more than depression. The same happened to me. I went from zoloft, to celexa, and than prozac. Finally I observed at a hospital and I was diagnosed with bipolar. They put me on a bipolar medication and it did a lot better than the anti-depressants.

[Coromandel1980]

thanks for the input.  once i can get some medical assistance i will look into that. :)

[colleen01]

Hi, I am new to this but have suffered with depression for most of my life(I'm 53).  It seems most of us who suffer from this are alone, or have dysfunctional family histories lacking in unconditional love.  Good for you, that even without support of real friends and family you have the will to survive!  Keep reaching out, look for support groups, even groups for things you may not deal with, like AA, OA, etc. as they have caring people who also struggle with lack of support in life which is one of the reasons they go.  Churches, and even volunteering can put you in touch with "safe" people, which by the way is a book that has been so helpful to me with weeding out "unsafe" people who are toxic to me.  Don't isolate, try to go for a walk a little everyday, even to a corner store.  As you can see from the posts, so many people feel alone in this world, but you know you aren't the only one, so you're really not alone!  God Bless!

[Coromandel1980]

thank yoiu colleen it was really nice to read that this morning.  i appreciate it.  i came from a highly dysfunctional family.  so i guess it makes sense.  i actually started walking without crutches yesterday, wobbly but walked!  i was so excited! :)

[colleen01]

Yay!  good for you!  and you did it with crutches!!  It's a gloomy day, dreary to the max here near Pgh,PA, and I am kinda pushing through the day just like a lot of us have to.  Dishes, little things just to keep moving when I would rather curl in a ball and escape but that doesn't help it just makes the depression worse!   It really is miraculous how much it helps to hear similar stories from others around the country because of how isolating depression is to begin with.  Keep on going, one step at a time....

[Coromandel1980]

thank you!  i know it was nice to walk without crutches for once!  WHOA!  i'm in pittsburgh!!  yeah i agree it's gloomy hating all this rain!  i know i started a painting to keep me occupied.  very cool to find someone else in pittsburgh, thanks for replying! :)

[colleen01]

Not sure if there's rules about giving emails out, but if permitted I could give you my email and we could at least write back and forth with our stories.  If you would like, and if allowed I will send it.  I am the mother of 4 and grandmother of 3, just fyi