self harm

i suffer this any1 else?

[centrals_28]

I have been dealing with this.  I had kept it at bay for a couple of months, but it has reared it's ugly head again this week.
I am back to hiding and getting dressed in another room and avoiding my husband like the plague.
It was hard the other night when I did it because it was so painful just to try and be still.
I did it to try and stop how bad I was feeling and not do anything worse. But it hasn't helped this time. It just makes me feel like even more of an idiot and ashamed at myself.

[Kimidawn]

I am a cutter and have been since I was 14.  I stopped for a while but just last week I gave in and cut my arm up.  Now I am wearing long sleeves and trying hard to hide the fact that I gave in.

I relate to centrals_28 in that I do this to feel better but always end up feeling ashamed of myself.  I think self harm is a life long battle some of us have to face.

[Alleykatt34]

I, too am a cutter..since I was about 13-14.  I hid it for a long time, then I stopped for a while.  Came back in my late 20's-early 30's to a point I couldn't stop.  I have had staples and many trips to the ER.  I have many scars on my husband calls once "perfect" skin.  I still have urges and still fight them tooth and nail.  Sometimes I give in, but I am really trying to stop.  I have some scars on my legs that are purple from some deep, untreated cuts.  all down my arms, hands, feet...sometimes I wonder what I "can" do to myself.

Stick close, maybe we can fight it together!!

Alley

[taichi123]

Hi I have also self harmed although it has been nearly 5 wks since the last time and at times its been hard not to. I have suffered from depression for nearly 17 years and have at last found a fantastic therapist that is helping me to deal with all my dark issues i owe my life to her. I am just taking one day at a time and heaving a sigh of relief when one passes without the thought of self harm.

[goodgardenpeas28]

I self-harmed for four or more years and thought I'd never be able to stop. I also had alot of other disorders I was dealing with like OCD ADD Major Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Eating disorders. The combination of these led me to start cutting. Its a viscious cycle though because cutting or any self harm gives you an immediate release of endorphins but then like caffeine drops you pretty fast and then to make matters worse you feel ashamed. You need to find a way to deal with your main issues before you can even begin to think about stopping the self  harm. If you need someone to talk to about it I'd be happy to talk. It sometimes helps to have someone to vent to.

[fowerman]

i self harm and i have done for a long time i was doing quite well recently but ive started cutting my arms again and im so low at the minute ive got allsorts going off in my life but the difference now just recently am so depressed i dont even cover myself up anymore its not that im not ashamed coz i am, i dont care anymore people look at me and stare at me when i do venture out, am just so messed up at the moment that cutting brings that relief that my medication cant, so i guess am saying i know how ya feel

am diagnosed with ocd, bpd, schizophrenia, depression, although my medication is fantastic at reducing the symptoms i still feel rough and cutting myself helps me feel good

[meg613]

i self harm and just writing that is quite therapeutic.... i only started a couple of months ago and i don't see myself stopping any time soon but it is nearly the summer and people are asking why i wear long sleeved tops... i had eating disorders and when i stopped making myself sick i just freaked out and started cutting... now i'm seeing a counsellor and she is great but i don'T know what to do with myself. i have depression but i don'T trust myself to take medication cuz i would probably take them all and end up in the ER...