shacking when eating

Hi, im a 25year old and i have issues in eating infount of people, It all started when i was in high school where it got real bad. where i was conshess on everyone looking at me and the whole judgement back then. i get the shackes. My hands and head uncontrollabley shack. I have tried alot of things, iv been on zoloft and that helped a bit, but didnt want 2 have 2 rely on a strong drug 2 stop it, plus if i stopped takin it, i would be completely spaced out, ect. So i weaned myself of those. Iv tried natural products, like stuff that u spray on ur tougne, ect. These neva work for me. iv done years on meditation, this helps of cause with my anxiety but not the uncontrolable shacking. Im so embarressed by this i avoid all my friends and family with eating functions, ect. i hate living like this!!! i shouldnt have 2 live like this, avoiding food in frount of people. I know alot of it is in my head, well at least thats my concullion on it all. Iv done councelling, ect to change my way on thinking, i dnt punish myself with the idea that im stupid, when i do this. But i really need smeone out there 2 help me with this. i need addvice, please.
Thanks for ur time

[DrJohanson]

Trying L-Theanine couldn't hurt, as a ingredient of green tea it has proven to have calming effects.

[mammo]

I know you don't want to take medication, none of us do!  But you need to realize that depression is like any other medical condition requiring medication to control the symptoms, and that's okay.  It sounds like you have tried every other way to beat this with no results, it may be time to accept that medication is the answer. You're worrying about when and if you can ever stop taking it as to what will happen, and that's nothing to be concerned about.  If you reach a point where you no longer need medication, your doctor can wean you off in a way that doesn't affect you. I see no alternative for you at this point.  Isn't being able to live a normal, happy life most important?  You've tried everything else, you owe it to yourself to give medication a try, I think you'll be glad you did!  Whatever you choose, I wish you all the best.