should i go on meds

[oliie]

hi im new and am lookin for bernie its olivia here anyway feelin very low and want to know allternitive methods other than medication to help  wit depression

[oliie]

yes your right bernie i remember only to well some of the things my dad did iv no illusions about him and wen i gohome he does try show me off to his mates i do think its alright for u to do that now because i dont need looking after but if i needed help he run a mile. and i know you think peter was hard on yoyr kids but at least he cared. and stephen is just as bad as him they were all over jonathan when he started to get his act together wanting him over with them but now hes having a few problems i dont hear from them and hes starting to see what there like himself. they cant handle emotions but if you care for someone you have to just listen now and then. stephen lives in ballyfermot he bought a house with a girl called ashling and has a son called ryan. and jonathan split with his girlfriend about 7 months ago and he was in a hostel trying to get a place of his own but before that he was great working away all over england and coming home at weekends but this girl he was with has wrecked his head badly. but hes seeing a counsiller now and he knows hes got problems and he hasnt bin drinking for a month. and yesterday he signed for a braaand new apartment in a lovely place and its assisted with counsillers who even cook in a kitchen downstairs i think it will do him good. everything is brand new. so it stopss me worring about him. my ma spoiled him in a different way she gave him loads of love and let him away with lots mostly cause my da never realy acknowledged him.

but  your right i need to concentrate on my own familym and im trying. cause i was so young when the girls were little and movd around so much im full of guilt and they are great girls so they tell me things that effected them when they were young and from them telling me my mistakes im trying double hard not to make them with the boys. but the girls dont hold it againest me they know how much iv been through they are my babys. even though there big now. i get down somtimes because i feel like a young girl in an old body my legs get so tired from the operations i had they had to cut muscle from my back hips and leg. i have three scars bout 10 inches long on my side and leg. but apart from that im happy now.  
i heard you had a right bad time getting on the right meds.. how are you now ? is your meds working for you now ? when i think of my cousins i get this ache it actualy hurts so i can only imagine how you feel but you are a great mother and you have so much good to give and love and you should remember how much you are loved...jonathan also went to court for access to see his son as his ex wouldnt let him see him so he got him on saturdays and maybe now he has his own place he can get him overnite.  
well ill talk soon lv u xx

[star641]

no olivia we are not on a phone lol.........aw now i understand you ,.

i dont think your mom spoiled him ,...she wasn't in her right mind most of the time when he was small ,.and he was so young when she walked out ,...
if hes going on like your mom with drink you are doing the right thing in putting him out
hes not a small boy now ,....have you spoken to him about not drinking ,
where does he live? and does he live with a girl ?
as for you dad and Stephen im going to be honest with you they dont give a chit!!
especially your dad ,....he never cared about you all when you were little ,so why would he care for you all now ,...once a con man always a con man ,...im sorry but thats what i think of him ,...he was always the blame for your mom walking out ,.....
when i think of the way he treated her ,...it makes me sick !!.......
you prob dont half of when he did to you mam ,.....he ruined her life ,
olivia you always tyred to do the best for your brothers now i think you should look after yourself for a change ,......tell him you are in touch with me now and if he doesn't get his act together i will come over to him ,....he and stephion should be looking after you now ,
is stephen still living in ireland ?

[oliie]

hi bernie im using texting like im on a phone sorry
yes jon has little bouts of depression and im always there for him but sometimes its hard bernie cause hes nearly thirthy and its like he is still a kid sometimes i know it was hard for him when mam left but it was for me and stephen too. he is a lovely kid and im so proud of him hes been clean nearly 8 yrs now but do you remember how my mam used to go on wen she was having a drink she went on very weird well hes doing that to me now and i told him not to come to mine when hes had a drink but he doesnt listen so i end up throwing him out lol ....it sounds funny but sometimes i just wish stephen or my dad would take some responsibility for him ... ilove him to bits but we all need a break and my mam bloody spoilt him

its a terrible thing depression cause yoy cant see it and your mind can be a dangerous thing when its hurting.....i hope philip gets some help for his depression please tell therese i was asking after them all

and i just hope evrything goes a little better for you from now on and im so glad to hear kevin is alright you have had enough to deal wit

[star641]

olivia im trying to make out what you are saying in the way you are wording things lol.
i will have to give you some proper english lessons ,lol....

gosh i didnt know Jonathan had depression so has young Philip Theresa son ,
Therese is very worried about him to ,she is moving to the Shannon in a few weeks
,
see i told you depression runs in the family ,...mark and Tracey had it ,..it also runs in peters side of the family ,...i hope kevin never gets it ,.... we had a scare with kevin he has a tumor in his leg ,....just above his knee the d,r, sent him real quick to the hospital he thought it might be cancer in the bone ,.....i thought we where going to loose him to ,
but it is benign thank god ,...

[oliie]

yh sorry bernie i meant to with its a short word i use for it ye see im talkin english and i dont realise it, watt i meant was im reluctant to go on meds cause of the history iv had being on gear and them metadone i came of it nearly 4yrs ago and it was de hardest thing iv ever done in my life but lisa is doin well on a little amount if it keeps u off de other stuff dats a good thing, and yes if only my mam had off seen her doc and bin honest she might of bin alright wen i took her out of grange gorman dey gave me tablets for her antidepressents and sleepin tablets but she let on to take dem and wenx i wasnt lookin she spit dem out i caught her doin it too, anyway iv to ssee my counsillor on thuesday and im goin to have a good chat wit her about it and im so glad uv got a good counsiller and i only wish tracey talked to u too my aunty marys son alan stafford hung himself last month he was de same age as me such a waste of life and dey just dont realise de defistation they leave behind and how much they will be missed.......ur  right it defo runs in de family even jonathan has bin diagnosed wit manic depression ...... its one of de worst illness's the one of the mind...anyway im  glad iv got u too talk about it wit thhanks for listenin ur one in a million xxxxxxxx

[star641]

hi olivia ,...no i never knew youve had wiv addiction ,..what is wiv??
you know my lisa is on methadone ,..she is on a very small amount but it keeps her going ,....she is also on  antidepressant meds ,...she couldnt be without them after all that happened to us ,...it good you have a good counsellor but you might still need to be on meds for your depression just to help you a bit more ,..the meds they give now are very good with little or no side effects ,....you have been through a lot in your life olivia
so never be afraid to go on even some mild meds to help you ,......
i think depression runs in our family anyway ,...your Nana whelen suffered with it to  
and she was on meds for it to ,....its just a pity your mam never got the chance to get proper help as well ,..you will be ok olivia if you stick to your counsellor ,
ive got a good one to ,....remember you dont have to get yourself through it on your own when you can get help of your d,r, ....
i wish my Tracey would have come to me and asked me for help but she didnt ,
and now look where she is ,......so look after yourself im here for you if you need to ask me anything ,...xx

[oliie]

hi bernie thanks for de reply and yh iv seen de doc and have suffered from depression for years now on and off ... iv bin on medication before but dont realy want to go back on it as u no de history iv had wiv addiction and im reluctant to rely on any drug to make me feel better ..  i do see a counsellor and shes very good and i feel much better wen iv had a chat wit her .... im alright i just go tru patches ov bin down a couple ov times a year and its dat time again  it again it can last for weeks or months but i usualy get myself tru  it but cause of my mams history i dont like to let it eat me up ... karen has bin a greaat help to me since iv contacted her and its good to just have sumone to talk to about it so thanks for listenin and talks for replyin and take care bernie ur an amazin mam and aunt after everything uv bin tru stilll u keep ur chin up xxxxxx

[star641]

hi olivia its Bernie im here now ,...welcome to mh is there anything i can do for you
to help you ?....have you been to see a dr, about how you are feeling ...
it all depends how low you are feeling and what your mood is like ,.
olivia do you suffer with depression ,..??i didnt know that you did ,...
let me hear for you anyway and we can talk some more ,
if you want to send me a pm just sent it ok ,.
looking forward to hearing from you ,
take care xx,...........