today is my granddaughters 8th birthday and my daughter won't let me even talk to her

[cat9841]

this is the same story contuning from another post on or about April 13th when it was my daughters birthday too. she is still angry with me, reason, I don't know anymore. its hard to get through these days when I want to be with them. she is a "christian" and thinks I am not good enough christian, which I really am, but she is mad and won't talk to me or let the girls call me at all. I sent her an e mail and she said she dosen't want to discuss with me at all. I don't even know WHY anymore except that she thinks I am running her life and I am not, I just want a close relationship with her and she wants me to "back off". its depressing to me, I've done everything I can to just live in peace with her, but nothing is good enough, nothing. my granddaughters and I have been very close, this is not right, I feel lonely and lost.
CAT

[jdtm]

CAT - I'm sorry to read your reply.  I'm wondering if your daughter is suffering from more than what "appears".  There is a book called "Stop Walking on Eggshells" by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger about a personality disorder (Borderline Personality Disorder) where those suffering from this issues challenge their loved ones with frequent and irrational mood shifts and well as unpredictable behaviour.  I might suggest you google the term "Borderline Personality Disorder" and see if this description fits your daughter.  Unfortunately I know this disorder too well - our DIL suffers from it and her life (as well as all those close to her) is in constant upheaval.  Let me know what you think after reading about this disorder.    Remember - you cannot reason with someone who can not reason.

[LukeL]

You may not want to hear more bible verses but one your daughter needs to hear is Romans 3:10 which says "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one" and Romans 3:23 "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

I would  not take legal action against your daughter (unless you feel she is a direct threat to your grandchildren) as this will only make things worse.  You both need to be in therapt together to work this problem out. Also it may help if you tell her you will not interfer with how she raises her children and that you only want to have  a relationship with them.

She needs to learn that she shouldn't be using her children as a means of hurting you and the only way this can be done is via therapy either with a doctor or a member of the clergy.

[cat9841]

YES I do feel like I am 'walking on egg shells', we have had a turbulent relationship since she was 16 years old, she is now 28, with 3 kids and no husband. I am SURE her life is VERY hard, I am here to help if only she'd let me. she has really distanced herself this time, this time is longer and more severe than ever before and the strange thing about it, it has come out of no where, I honestly don't even know why she won't let me in.  the only thing I can think of is that there might be something going on that she is afraid the girls will tell me that she dosen't want me to know about.
CAT

[jdtm]

Is this normal - turbulence in her relationships?  Does she make friends easily and then quickly drop them?  Does she tend to be self-indulgent?  Do you feel as though you are always "walking on eggshells" when around her?  Just wondering if there is more here than what first meets the eye.

[Hensley258]

You need to take action cat. You do know that Grandparents have a legal right to see their Grandchildren? It's true. You could use the courts to grant you visitation rights.

Grandparents do it all the time when things like this happen.