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troubled

I am in the military and I have had depression for around 9 years which I have heard for my age is kinda high. I have never been a happy person except when I drink and they keep telling me that is not a good thing. I have been to doctors for depression, suicide, and a personality disorder. My command here thinks it's just a small phase inam going through and are telling me that they can change me. All of the doctors I have seen and spoken with have all made the same decision that I should be seperated from the military because of my history of depression and the way I am now. Which by the way has aggravated my depression to the inmost extreme. I find myself wondering everyday why I'm here. Still asking the same question why did I join this particular group in the military and why the hell would they even after seeing what history I have with depression and family history of depression they still let me in. Dumb on my part I know but for about 2 years I had control of myself. It started slipping from me and I ignored it because although I wasn't happy I was better off then I used to be and I didn't want it to end but it did and now I am on a place I hate more then ever, surrounded by people that don't know what I am going through and people that say they want to help bu in the end from here they aren't doing a damn thing. I have never dome the before even with all the years I have been unpleasent to say the least but I saw some other peoples troubles on here so I figured I would try it because o don't like talking to people face to face I don't know so this may actually help in some way
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You need to see a professional along with getting into therapy.  It's sad that you've never really been happy, but there is a reason for this.  Therapy will help you identify, deal with and move on with whatever has you depressed.  Often medication is needed along with the therapy.  I had both, and still take an anti-depressant.  It doesn't sound like the service is doing anything to help you, which is a shame.  It's good that you are finally speaking out about your problems and especially with us.  We've been dealing with the same thing, so we do understand.  We all have our own stories as well, so know you're not alone.  In therapy will will need to talk face-to-face, but know that this is what they are trained for, and you need to be completely honet with your therapist. The more you talk, the easier it gets.  You don't have to live an unhappy life, there is so much help for you.  If you want to leave the military and you feel this would also help you, then do it.  This is a time when you need to think about YOU!  You need to get well so that you can have the happy life you deserve.  There is a lot of help and support for you here, so feel free to stay with us through your journey to get better.  Take care...
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