very depressed theses days

I need help getting through this week. I want off disability, but have been told I need to be on it. I don't have any friends...my own fault. I'm afraqid to go out of my house alone. I feel so pestimistic about my future. I'm fighting sucide thoughts. This is not new, I have been fighting them for my entire life...it
s just that they are strong today. I don't want to hurt anyone, so I'm just trying to get through this trying time. Does anyone else feel this low?

[gma2]

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm here right with you. I can't get out of this funk I'm in. I'm sick of constantly trying to get through each day! I can't believe you posted that and I just popped over here and there it was. I never come here. I'm mostly on anxiety but I'm so beyond just anxiety. So many health issues going on and I don't even get past one thing before I have another thing hopping aboard to take me further down.

I am on Disability. I have agoraphobia with panic disorder. My anxiety is a constant battle. I have COPD, Fibromyalgia, and so many other things going on, but those alone are so bad that it rules my life. What were you on Disability for and why did you go off. It is so hard to get, I don't understand. I hope you come back. I hope you feel better, maybe this will help you. I think I'm beyond help! But, knowing you're not alone in this, maybe that will help you.
gma2

[lonewolf07]

I've been on Disability for six years now for depression, anxiety and agoraphobia which was a side-effect of the other two disorders - and all it has done is make me feel worse.  They cut back our benefits while giving themselves a big raise and there isn't enough money to get by.  So now I want off it - with their knowledge and assistance which, according to the Disability people, provides us with a safety net in case our disabilities prevent us from working.  It's ironic that some of us had to go through the wringer to get Disability and now are facing the same things to get off it.  I wouldn't be looking for work if I didn't need the money; not because I'm lazy (although I can be) but because I've been working since I was a child and I'm tired.  Rich folks like my brother can take early retirement.  I don't have that luxury.

I've been suicidal too.  A lot of us have been down the same path and you'll get a lot of support and ideas from the folks here.

[bell124]

hi jasmine.i to am on disability over a year now ,my job is still open to me but i am not ready to go back and it looks like i might never go back .but thats the lest of it because i to have suicidal thoughts ,i was bad on monday and wolf came to my rescue ,there is all ways some here for you to talk to i know that much.i know just how you feel about not wanting to hurt anybody and thats makes it even harder doesnt it ,you have to fight it ,i know the friends bit and the alone bit and all the other bits that come with depression,i understand you hun but stick with for a little wile longer lets stick toghter on this .but one thing i would ask are you getting any help on this matter out side of this forum,you can talk anytime,good bless bell.

[jasmine49]

Thanks to you that responded to my post. Sorry I'm late in answering. I felt so bad, I thought I should go in the hospital, but my co-pay is sooooooo high , that it is cheaper for me to check into a hotel and get away from everything. So we went to a hotel over night and my mood lifted somewhat when I returned home.Take-care all