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victim
A lady I know found out her husband cheated on her (30+) years ago.  She keeps referring to herself as "the victim" (since in her mind she was the perfect spouse/wife) & she is now breaking his things, ripping up cards/pictures,  throwing fits, trying to get her grown children involved, etc.  She refuses to get professional help.  What can I say or do to help change her mind???  Why do people get so engrossed in "the victim mentality?"
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You can't change her mind, plain and simple. If she is doing that, you can't save her or fix her. To be honest, doing what your doing isn't healthy either.  I had a friend in University who got like that, you can't help someone whom isn't willing to get help, you can't be her "rescuer:. I had to walk away from our friendship.
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