what can we do?

My 24 year old step-daughter seems to be getting more and more depressed and won’t seek help on her own.  As background, her mother was in and out of her life from the time she was 5 until her mother died when she was 12.  She had difficulty in her teenage years and found solace in food.  We took her to family counseling (she has a brother 2 years younger, a sister 4 years younger-who have adjusted) and she attended individual counseling but she refused to open up and talk in the sessions.  She left home at 19, and returned with a baby three years ago.  Over the past few months, she has gained a lot of weight… she was always heavy, but recently has put on enough weight to go up 4 sizes, weighing over 250 pounds, at 5’2”.  She sleeps all weekend if she could, and when she is around the rest of the family (including her daughter) she sits as everyone else engages in the activities.  She is a closet eater, never eating in front of us, and hiding all kinds of food in every crevice of her bedroom.  We have made doctor appointments for her, which she doesn’t go to.  We have been positive in encouraging her to do it on her own, but she doesn’t.  What can we do? It’s obvious she is very sad and needs some help?  Can we force her by taking her to a community hospital for evaluation?  What would you advise?  

[Hensley258]

That is a tough one.

It's hard to get anyone help if they don't honestly want to feel better.

There are many different types of depression and I can't speak for your step daughter, but in my case when I started to get sick, it was absolutly terrifiying for me. I wanted to get help because I honestly thought I was going insane. It got so bad that thoughts of my death actually made me feel warm and safe inside.

I am serious when I tell you that I honestly thought I was going insane. That is why I wanted help so bad. I just wanted to feel normal again so bad that I would (and did) do anything to feel better or "normal."

Your step daughters depression may be much different, in the sence that it is not a source or terror for her like it is many people. This could explain why she feels no urgency or desire to get help.

I do know one thing for sure, I will do absolutly anything or take anything not to feel my Severe Depression at it's full fury. It is a fear so bad that there are not words to even describe it.

I fear it even more than death.

[Suzanne610]

My daughter is depressed too.  Have you sat down and had a "family meeting" about this with her?  Telling her her good points and then your concerns?  Have you talked to her about the treatments before you made the appointments?  

You  mentioned she's living at home.  Has she tried to get a job and help out with rent?  Is she raising her daughter or are you?  What does she want out of life?  Coming home for a few months to get on her feet is cool...but it sounds like this is much bigger and not in a good way.  

How was life when she lived outside of your home?  Did she have a sense of purpose then?

So many important questions to analyze...sorry if it is too much.