what should I do feel like I have nothing going for me

Question

I have been feeling very depressed and I am not sure what to do. I am 24 year old just got my BS in criminal justice and about to head off to grad school but I am just hating my life so much right now. My mother mother past away 6 years ago and right now I am living with my dad his new wife and her niece who she had raise since she was a baby. The niece is now going on 19 and I hate her and her aunt.... I cant stand sharing the same space as them but I guess i should explain why this is...my dad started dating her less then two weeks after my  mom died of breast cancer and alot of my family think it may of been even before my mother has past which is soo classless and just months before my mom died she was engaged to the father of an now exfriend of mine and this man was a freind of my father as well leading me to think this woman was just seeking a husband. my father;s wife herself is always compaining and always repeating herself(I think it something mental cuz she can repeat something 3 times and a row). The niece is a crack head who steals and treats her aunt like crap and they always fight. 

My father while I will always love him has greatly sadden me as well. he runs his on business but I found out he had cheated people out of money and I use to find court paper proving it. The home we had(along with my mother) is now foreclosed people broke in to it in all the stuff I didnt get a chance to move ouy (since I was away at school) is gone....all my year books, class rings and most of the things my mother have given me are gone.

While at school I seeked help and even was put on prozac which I was off and on. I have no idea what to do I dont have money/insurance to see a doctor for any need even to get my teeth fix and I have a tooth gone and a another one about to fall out. I only have one true friend who very far away so I have just been lone this whole summer sitting in my room. I just want to move out sooo much but I dont have any money and I hate that it seems like I am going to be stuck in criminal justice...which I stayed in because I have no idea what to do with my life I just know I dont want to end up like my dad. I can still remember times about two years after my mom past having to eat by candlelight because we couldnt get the power back on I just hate my life I feel like I have nothing going for me( I feel ugly/fat)  that i am just on my way to grad school because it something I should do and I am trapped.

mammo · Accepted Answer

There are agencies that can help you with healthcare so you can get needed help.   You need to seek psychiatric help so you can get into therapy and/or medication.  You've been thru a lot, and I feel depression is adding to your feelings of hopelessness. A professional in the medical field once told me that when someone loses a spouse, the loneliest remarry the quickest.  I try not to judge people on how soon they remarry because until we've been thru it we don't know how we would react.  There is no time frame for how long one should grieve, and a lot of what the family thinks is just speculation. They should let your mother rest in peace.  Your dad's new wife doesn't sound like a good choice on his part which makes me think he married out of loneliness.  It sounds like your father has truly disappointed you, and I can understand how and why.  Just keep in mind that just because he is your father, it doesn't mean he doesn't have his own issues, or always know to do the right thing.  I think first and foremost you need to get yourself healthy!  Since you're not even sure that criminal justice is your passion, why go into all that debt at this point?  You can always go back to school, maybe it's time to take some time to get yourself in a better place before making such an expensive decision that you're not really interested in right now.  You will be paying on the student loans for many years so make sure that money is well spent.  Don't go to grad school just to be doing something, you will regret this for the rest of your life!  Get yourself some help with your depression, and then why not get a job and get your own place?  You have a lot to sort out right now, and staying where you are is not the answer, grad school is not the answer.  I think getting out on your own, working and feeling independent will do wonders for you in every way.  It will also give you time to decide what you truly want to do with your life, something you enjoy and is fulfilling.  You're an adult with choices, and have the ability to change your life.  Make your mother proud by getting well and doing what you truly want to do.  My son took a year off before continuing college and has never regretted it.  He did it all on his own, working and student loans with his own place.  You can do this as well.  YOU are in control, always remember this.  You can allow the past to weigh you down and prevent you from moving forward, or you can choose to let it go and make a good life for yourself.  Please give this some thought, and do things as they need to be done.  You're young with lots of time to go to school.  Get you life in order and go from there.
Take care.

honeyhun · Answer

also school is going to be all loans and I will still be living with them.

what should I do feel like I have nothing going for me

I feel like I am discontent about who I am

Depression due to studies and unable to make my parents happy

depressed again

Please Help.

I feel like I am discontent about who I am

Depression due to studies and unable to make my parents happy

depressed again

Please Help.

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