what to do

Where do i begin, when i was 9 i found my mother "sleeping". she had committed suicide. after that living with my father was rediculous bc he was never there, work, golf or women were his top commitments. i tried committing suicide 3x's after highschool but chickened out twice, and didnt take enough pills the other. i did nothing my first year after highschool, had insomnia for a few months and then somehow i eventually got out of my slump. lived out of state for a few years, thought i was going to be top notch in my career. then my father married a girl i hated iin highschool, had 2 kids with her, and back to my slump i am. i have a toddler, and i try to be the best i can to him, but feel i could be better. my so called boyfriend hates that i work and go to the gym. i dont have many friends anymore.. so i dont have much of a life, but when i do go out like i said its to the gym, work or store. i hate my life, my boyfriend makes no money and wont find a job that gets good pay so we are always struggling, so i have to work to put food on the table and pay the bills. right b4 i found out i was prego we were going to break up and i was going to move back out of the state. i feel like i am with him bc of our son. he says he loves me but he doesnt fix his faults to prove it. i admit i am a harsh person and i cant get rid of it. i hate everything and everyone. i cant afford regular therepy and im trying to go back to school but its turning out i cant afford that either, and if i dont finish my bach degree i cant move up in the job world. im stuck and pissed off and dont know how to get rid of my anger. ive been seeing pyschs and therepist since i was 9 years old. i know the routine. im no longer suicidal but at times wish i was. how do i get out of my slump. i started going to the gym to motivate me, but now i dread it bc when i get back my bf yells at me and tells me im a bad mother for not being home. i go to the gym 3 times a week for 1 1/2 hours a time. he yells at me for picking up shifts at work. he yells at me if i dont take our son when i go anywhere. im starting to hate him with all my heart., i cant afford to be on my own even tho he makes nothing.. everything is in my name, house cars bills EVERYTHING how do i get out of this slump. what do i do to become happy again?

[CrystalMerfMcintyre]

To be honest in my eyes the thing that seems to be putting you down the most right now is your boyfriend. Your boyfriend should not be yelling at you for going to the gym and working. I don't see him making any money. I think you should get rid of him. To be quit honest. He can still see your guys child. But whats the point of being with someone you hate? There is none. Alot of people break up and im sure you will find someone alot better then that. That has a job that is there for you. Will let you do what you want. He obviously doesn't love yu if he can't fix his faults. I was in the same situation awhile ago. I know what its like but without the kid. He also can't say your a bad mother when the kid has a roof over his head has food on the table. In my eyes Get rid of him!!!!

Help me on my problem?

[RJ233]

I would contact the local Mental Health that is open in your city or county that you live. It is to be offered to the public and based on income. I would set a plan in place. Figure one thing at a time. If your bf contributes nothing, then he is not help, he is a burden, and is bringing you down. His constant badgering is his stupidity, guess he is afraid he may lose his support. His child, he signed the birth certificate didn't he? You are entitled to child support and can sue him for it, even while he is living there.

I would start trying to save money, as much as I could to help you. Are the vehiles only in your name? If it is only in your name, you can put it up for sale.
My plan would be, save money, kick him out, car in your name only, advise him he cannot take it and put it up for sale. If he wants to purchase it, then he must pay the loan off/ not to drive, keep, touch, until bank note is stamped paid in full and be sure to drop him from your insurance. Go with him to DMV sign the title and have it changed into his name then. If the TITLE is NOT CHANGED, then whatever he does with that car it is STILL YOUR car as far as the LAW is concerned and YOU are responsible. Be sure to take your tags off the car and turn them in. You want to be completly clear of that responsibility. If you sell to some one else, same thing go with them to have the title changed and turn in your tags. Just signing off on the title does not release you, the registration of the car must he changed into the buyer's name and the title.

Before you kick him out, find a baby sitter that you can trust. Get references and call them. It really helps to find out the background of their treatment. Some places will help a single parent with the cost of child care. Check with social services for all help available. Food Stamps, Baby sitting, child health care. You are entiled to programs so take the help. You pay for it by every pay check. File for child support, be sure to know the address to locate him, in order to have him served. Do not show any mercy on him from the beginning, if you do, you will have to fight for every penny ( I know).    child   Go to the Courthouse where you reside and file.

Work on one thing at the time and that way you will be prepared. Keep in mind every day that goes by, you are closer to a happy life for your child and yourself. It will help knowing you are facing a better life.

Do not be afraid to step out, many women do it and they survive. I raised 3 by myself and they are just fine. You do need to reaffirm to your child the fact of how much you love her and how you will always be there for her. Loss of one parent adds to an insecurity. My children over came that with special support and they are fine adults.

I wish you the best. I hope this helps you. Keep in touch.

[thegodnicky]

Dump that piece of **** boyfriend!

really? you seem like an amazing and strong woman, **** that stupid guy, you CAN do this all by yourself.

You child will be much benefited by NOT having a piece of **** dad it's mom hates!

[batman22]

thank you for your advice, you are right i need to move on from him.. its just so hard, i need to find the strength. in an odd way i am scared to be alone, even tho i feel pretty independant. i always thougt we would work out but we just arent compatible, its like an aweful cycle, he says mean things so i ignore him and makes him more mad so he keeps his attitude and i keep mine... its like im scared to contact the county to help..... i need to keep up with the advice you give an become stronger...