whats next?

This might end up being a little long winded, so I apologize in advance.  Ill give a bit of background information and then get around to the question/questions.

I was diagnosed as clinically depressed years ago by our family practioner.  So many major life changing events took place within months of each other, it sent me into a tail spin.  Life long promises my dad made concerning my future were stripped from me after he died, (I was cut from the will, even though all of the promises) my grandfather on my mom's side, my only true positive male role model growing up passed away at the same time, the birth of my second child and all of those emotions..... I was way over weight, addicted to tobacco, eating the worst diet ever, no exercise, drinking whiskey to numb the pain..... just too much stuff all at once.

Having never addressed these issues, I kind of put them to bed so to speak even after my doctor urged me to seek professional help from a psychologist/psychiatrist.  (I had beaten a cocaine addiction on my own and didnt need help for this).....so I thought.

Fast forward to 7 weeks ago>  I informed my wife that I had an affair.  I was in a happy marriage, but apparently went insearch of soemthing I wasnt getting at home.  Truth be told, I didnt find it there either, whatever "it" was.

Having decided to repair the marraige, we are both in therapy by ourselves and in couples therapy.  We are making progress, but I feel horrible exposing the real relationship I had with my father.  And the more I divulge about the relationship, the worse I feel.

I guess the question is, when can I start to not feel so bad about exposing the "family" secrets?

Any help or encouragement regarding this would be greatly appreciated.