thought about what you said and i realized no one would really notice or care if i died
Death isn't the way to go, I was in this situation long ago, go talk to a counselor and see what they have to say. Find friends that know what you're going through, they will know what to say and how to help. And so maybe your brother isn't being the good sibling he should be, that doesn't mean you're alone in this world. There are people who will listen and help.