Burning/rashy after intercourse

My boyfriend and I both experience a burning sensation after intercourse and we both have irritated skin. My vaginal area just looks red and if he ejaculates inside me it burns as it comes out of me. The tip of his penis looks blotchy-red and burns/itches (this never happened before me). Both of our symptoms fade away soon after intercourse, however, it happens every time. I have never really enjoyed sex very much, therefore I don't produce very much lubrication. Over-the-counter lubricants help the friction, but the afterwards slight burning is still there.

Neither of us have an STD (that we know of). I suspected that I may have had herpes in the past but it could never be confirmed. I went to two Dr's and a biopsy and culture test were performed but neither turned up positive results. That was a couple years ago. I often get a rashy area in the same spot during my "time of the month". One Dr. said I may have an allergy to the panty liners. Well, I have tried several brands and nothing helps. There is simply no way to avoid using panty liners on my light days. The one thing that concerns me is that this rashy spot is always in the same spot and my gland on that particular side of my groin is tender. The rashy spot itself doesn't look like much at all...just red and a little swollen and it does hurt.

1. Do these two things have anything to do with the other?
2. Do you think I have anything to worry about?
3. Why is his penis red/blotchy and itchy?

Thanks for your help. I hope this is not an STD. I would feel horrible amd wouldn't know what to say to him :(  I wish there were better testing for this type of thing.

[Alan Rockoff, MD]

My best guess based on your description is that your relative lack of lubrication causes friction and irritation.  This does not sound like an STD.  I suggest you try adding 1% hydrocortisone cream (over-the-counter) to your respective genitals before and after intercourse.  I think you yourself ought to show a doctor your tender spot, though again I doubt that has any special significance.

As to your general lack of enjoyment of sex, you might want to take that up with a gynecologist attuned to that concern.  Worrying about pain and STD doesn't do much for pleasure or lubrication, thus perpetuating the problem.

Best.

Dr. Rockoff