Itchy pubic region, anal region, communicable to spouse

2007 developed intense itch in anal area.  Showering and BM aggravates it. GP referred me to dermatologist.  Dermatologist says it's nonspecific dermatitis, prescribes desonide ointment to reduce flare up and to use aquafor on regular basis to keep skin moist.  Says I may have to live with it, but isn't communicable.

2008 spreads to pubic region.  Given same diagnosis.  (Why did it spread?)  Aquafor never helps long term, desonide helps after 10 days or so to calm down the region.

2009, get married, after not bathing for 2 days, have intercourse with wife, 8 hours later she is describing same anal itch.  I see second opinion, have biopsy (not during flare up though), given same diagnosis.  Tea tree soap seems to help keep things calm.

2010 still have it.  Tea tree soap not helping anymore.  Herpes test is negative.  General skin allergy test negative (85% of common allergens tested).  Changed soap, shampoo, no more conditioner.  Tried coal tar soap, no help.  Aquafor is pointless.  Scheduled OBGYN appt. for wife.  Getting third opinion.  Advanced allergen tested scheduled.  Wife saw dermatologist but they were more interested in getting her on 5 other medications for dandruff, dry skin, moles removed, and other things and barely even cared about the actual issue we came to see her about.

I have been told repeatedly it's not a fungus, and nothing other than dermatitis.  Why does it spread when I itch it from 1" by 2" patch to 3-4" by 3-4" patch?  Why did tea tree oil soap work for some time?  Why doesn't aquafor help?

No one seems to care that this noncommunicable issue spread to my wife.  No one can answer it when they say "nonspecific dermatitis."  They just shrug like I am crazy.  At least lie to me and say it's a new form of communicable skin dermatitis.

The itchy skin doesn't look red until you scratch it.  Scratching it near my scrotum makes the skin tough and bumpy.  Tissue salts (4s, 5s, 6s) don't help.  It moves from rectum to upper/lower anus, bottom of scrotum, sides of pubic area, never on penis itself, never anywhere else.  Wife has same issues (replace penis with vaginal area naturally.)

Thoughts?  I don't want to know how I can live with it, I want to know what it is and how I can stop it because a skin disorder doesn't just jump to your wife.

[Bhupinder Kaur, MD]

Hello,
From the symptoms any contagious disease like a fungal skin infection need to be ruled out. I suggest you to get a KOH examination of the skin scrapings and a fungal culture done to confirm the diagnosis of a fungal infection.

It is very difficult to precisely confirm a diagnosis without examination and investigations and the answer is based on the medical information provided. For exact diagnosis, you are requested to consult your dermatologist. I sincerely hope that helps. Take care and please do keep me posted on how you are doing.